Twenty-eight

28

I wore my fake smile, the one that I had practiced oner million times in front of bathroom mirrors and at home. It was my armor, my defense to make it through the day.

Deep down, I was burning with the desire to be better every day. I tried being someone else too. I just wanted to be a better person, to be a better version of me or someone else.

But I guess I had failed miserably. I thought I was flying and soaring up and up, but deep down, I was crashing so hard and fast, pummeling to the ground. I tried not to feel, the pain that was stabbing my chest. It felt like my heart was being sliced by a razor bit by bit.

The fact that my own mama had blocked my number. It was the kind of emotional pain that made your stomach ache and wriggle, it made all the sick butterflies fly around in your stomach, to remind you how sick and pathetic you were.

God, I still loved my mama despite that. I did, she had always been my hero and superwoman ever since I was born. That would never change desp