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Twenty-five
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When the bully falls in love Twenty-six
I used to love school, you know, it used to be my sanctuary and safe place.I used to run to the school bus happily with my pigtail’s hair floating freely in the air. It was all pure magic and fun. Not anymore, its different, the air smells different, sometimes it even smells like death, danger always lurking in the air.Sometimes I missed having someone who I could love, someone who could just look at me like I matter. Anything that wanted to grow old with me even if it was just a mere flower.But it was useless missing something that you have never had. Something thatI continued spiting in the skin as I tried to rinse my mouth. The smell of soap kept on lingering even after rinsing it with water more than ten times. I blew some vapor in my hand and tried to smell it, to confirm if I had bad breath like rotten meat.I was standing inside the ladies’ washrooms, in front of the sink, facing the mirror. My eyes were tightly closed as I did everything. I couldn’t stand looking at me at
When the bully falls in love Twenty-seven
27I stood still utterly dumbfounded by the new plot twist. Was this real, I couldn’t kiss her back. She stole my first kiss, not that I was mad. This was the biggest favor that anyone had ever done to me in the planet.Her breath was fresh, full of some substance that I didn’t know about. If this is what Vince meant when he said fresh breath then I was way below their line and grade cleanliness. This was the highest form of love that I have ever received in person, after watching Vince and his pretty girls do it every day.She pulled back and I looked sideways, too embarrassed, with my face flushing bright red, did I even have a face to boast of being bright red. I could feel energy buzzing in my veins everywhere, happiness soaking me inside, and it kept growing bigger and bigger, until I couldn’t handle it anymore and felt like screaming and bursting.I was holding back tears of joy, tears of happiness because this once, someone had done something that showed that I really mattered.
When the bully falls in love Twenty-eight
28I wore my fake smile, the one that I had practiced oner million times in front of bathroom mirrors and at home. It was my armor, my defense to make it through the day.Deep down, I was burning with the desire to be better every day. I tried being someone else too. I just wanted to be a better person, to be a better version of me or someone else.But I guess I had failed miserably. I thought I was flying and soaring up and up, but deep down, I was crashing so hard and fast, pummeling to the ground. I tried not to feel, the pain that was stabbing my chest. It felt like my heart was being sliced by a razor bit by bit.The fact that my own mama had blocked my number. It was the kind of emotional pain that made your stomach ache and wriggle, it made all the sick butterflies fly around in your stomach, to remind you how sick and pathetic you were.God, I still loved my mama despite that. I did, she had always been my hero and superwoman ever since I was born. That would never change desp
When the bully falls in love Twenty-nine
I had failed again, I was a failure. I felt small, pathetic and miserable. Vince always made me feel small, he made me want to stop living. He reminded me of how small and insignificant I was in this universe. “The sight of your big and ugly chubby cheeks, makes me sick,’’ that’s what he had reaffirmed. Used my biggest insecurity to strike his point home. Someone once said that the eyes never lies, no matter what the mouth says, the eye always makes it a point to tell the truth and never lie. I looked up at him and the lights came back to the elevator car before it started moving again. His eyes were full of contempt, hate and a burning rage that he planned to unleash on me without any kind of mercy whatsoever. “Just so you know, it’s only the pretty girls who fall in love and get kissed inside elevators,’’ he commented after realizing I was looking at him. “Who said I wanted to fall in love with a jerk or blockhead like you,’’ I inquired again careful to make my voice sound like
When the bully falls in love Thirty
My legs felt weak, and my vision was foggy. The next thing I knew I was down on the ground. As I tried to get a hold of reality and everything around me, I realized a heavy object was on top of me. I closed my eyes trying to figure out what was happening this round, what was lying on top of me? Was I in some realm again where the unreal and imagination ruled? The throbbing pain on my head was their reminding me that it needed to be acknowledged, that I should enjoy the pain, Enjoy the pain inflicted to me by the bully, the way I deserve. I tried to get up again and pushed the figure shaking on top of me. After some little struggles, the person finally stood up and I realized it was the teacher who had been laying over me. I was on the floor as Vince was struggling to mask his laughter on the sidelines. The man in overall came towards me and offered a hand clearly amused too. It was clear he had been laughing too. ‘‘Sorry, let me help you get up, sorry, are you okay,’’ the man in ove
When the bully falls in love Thirty-one
I walked into class slowly careful not to move fast, because I would fall gain. This was my school; I paid my school fees and no one was ever going to make me feel small towards when I was inside it. Not even the bullies. I felt like killing someone, strangling anyone. Most importantly the sassy girls in my class who felt like they deserved heaven anything even if it was a small cat or even a flower. An eye for an eye and the whole world ends up blind. Perhaps a blind world was better because that way we couldn’t see each other’s faults, when the whole world was blind, no one could judge the other or measure their worth because of beauty that was physical. I craved for a world where people didn’t struggle to fit in. A world where you didn’t have to worry about pimples on your sin, or freckles on your face. A happy and peaceful world where no one judged you for being fat and you didn’t haver to worry about your tummy fat. A society with no standards for physical beauty. I craved for
When the bully falls in love thirty two
Fear is paralyzing. It holds your limbs down and locks them with invisible keys. Until you can’t move, or crawl or do anything, it takes a hold of you and makes you, its prisoner. I was afraid, more than ever, as I lay on the ground. Somebody had tripped me with their leg making me fall face flat on the ground. My insides were turning and churning from the terrible feeling that I felt. I felt low, down and awful. A swamp rat felt better than me. At least moss could brag of being decent and growing up freely in sewages where no one could disturb or bully them. I didn’t want to be a failure, not anymore, I want to be brave, to be a woman, to embrace my feminine side and urges. I wanted someone to look at me like I was a girl. Courage always came from having a belief in your own abilities. That’s what the numerous motivational speakers in guidance and counselling aways said. I didn’t have any abilities. My biggest and best ability was sleeping and eating. I didn’t even have the abilit
When the bully falls in love Chapter 33
Sometimes, I stop to think and wonder who is left in hell. Because it seems all the demons and sinners have escaped, and are living on earth camouflaging to be people. It seemed the devil was on vacation too, posing as someone else. All the residents of hell were here on earth as my classmates, all the demons that escaped hell were living right next to me pretending to be people. The sooner I had unearthed their identities, the better. But I couldn’t help but think that the angels were involved too. Why didn’t angels in heaven ever intervene when everything was getting worse. Why didn’t they ever intervene? Or perhaps all the demons were craving for peace and it was the angels who were craving for chaos. I just wanted to figure it all out. Perhaps I was the real devil who was supposed to be in hell but had lost memory. What if I was really the devil and Vince an angel from heaven, here to remind me that I was needed in hell to bring order? People around me seemed to have all their af
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