1. Blizzard

The warmth of my car provided little solace as I drove for hours, the chill of my boyfriend's hurtful words idling in my weary mind. I struck the brakes, a stray dog passed before my car right after. Calming myself, I pulled over to catch my breath. On the screen of my phone, reflecting the Christmas lights of the festive buildings surrounding the road on both sides, I saw it was 22:48 h. It reminded me of what day it was. December 20. And I was here. In the middle of nowhere, in a blizzard.

I unlocked it and refreshed my messages. Adrian hadn't written to me after our fight, nor I was going to. He had been my love since high school. My first serious boyfriend, and what I hoped would be the last. Instead, when we moved to the big city, he grew distant with every passing day at his new job.

When he was at home, he hid behind his laptop, so I did the same. I read romance books, as in reality, I could find no such thing anymore. Often, I peeked behind the screen in the hope our eyes would meet, but he never did the same. I faced it - he never had time for me.

I recalled last Valentine’s Day when Adrian fell asleep on the sofa after working late on his computer. Social media and the streets boomed with the topic of love. To him it seemed to be another day for him to fall asleep on the sofa after working on his computer. He used to be obsessed with me, or so he was saying at the beginning of our relationship. His job was his obsession now. Me? Second best.

With a deep sigh, I dropped the phone on the passenger seat and resumed my travel. The poor dog almost gave me a heart attack, but then I felt sorry for it. Alone, ignored…when everything around screamed holiday spirit.

As I drove, big crumbs of snowflakes crashed against my windshield, and the wipers led a futile fight to remove them from my view. The snow had already blanketed the trees and the fields across the horizon, illuminating the dark night, and creating a brighter place.

My hands squeezed the wheel so tight, my knuckles turned white. I gritted my teeth, a last gate to withhold the curses from rolling out my tongue. My anger couldn’t disperse, no matter how much time passed since our fight.

The car’s interior lit up as my phone buzzed from the seat with a new message. Automatically, my stupid, naive heart hoped it was Adrian, apologetic and begging for forgiveness. A part of me that always had to be kind and gentle wanted to hear him apologizing and then give him an I-am-sorry-too-I-love-you sex.

I picked up my mobile, forgetting how mad I was a second ago. With eyes sparkling with hope, I hastily read the message that was indeed from Adrian. 

“I guess you are finally going to see your parents. Let’s not stay mad for the holidays. We can talk about it after Christmas.”

“Where’s the apology?” I whispered, my hate reigniting like a forest fire. “How dare you act like it’s all fine?”

I wasn’t going to let him take me for granted anymore. As violent curses almost slipped out, I dismissed my phone with a toss on the backseat, when an unnatural feeling took over my body. Within a split second, I realized the tires were slipping, and turning the wheel wasn’t doing any good. My foot squeezed against the brake pedal and after just a few seconds that felt like a day longer than eternity, the car stopped itself. In a tree.

I pushed myself to look up, and a creaking sound followed with a bang.

I thanked the dormant preservation instincts in me as I covered my face just in time before the branch could reach my eyes. Glass spilled everywhere, and I got away with not much, but some scratches on my skin.

All the action stopped, yet the drama did not. My delicate red blouse - ripped on both sleeves. Trees are life, but to my favorite blouse, it was suffering, anguish, and death. The entire world disappeared, a silence enveloping me in the sole presence of my frightened thoughts and panting. The adrenaline and shock made my moves seem like I was in slow motion.

I did what I assumed was right. I switched off the ignition, grabbed my fluffy jacket, my purse, and my phone, and then I exited the car.

The freezing wind cruelly pushed me as I treaded to the road, and a thick flock of snowflakes obscured my view. The heels of my boots sunk deep into the frozen cover, causing me to almost fall. I walked like a duck until I stepped on the slippery asphalt.

I found the view both beautiful and scary. There were no signs of civilization, no twinkling light on my left or my right. The snow was fresh and yet untouched by any creature. The trace of my tires stood unnaturally on the asphalt, leading to my car, but no other vehicle had left its marks on the road.

Nature ruled the place. The trees, who lost their leaves long ago, were shaking and making creepy sounds, mixed with the noise of the speeding wind. The white blanket was trying to hide their naked branches, despite the blizzard.

I was close to my parent’s house, but still too far to walk in this crazy weather. My body was shaking uncontrollably, both from the cold and from the terror of what just happened. Of what could have happened.

“This day is getting worse by the hour,” I yelled over the noisy wind in the frozen forest.

I decided to go back to my now not-so-warm car and call for someone to pick me up. Until then, I was going to take refuge in the semi-shelter that was my backseat.

“Hello! Mom!” I said with a trembling voice at my phone when the waiting signal disappeared.

“Mia? Where are you? I can’t hear you! Are you somewhere outside, dear?” I heard the sweet, sleepy voice of my mother.

“Um, yeah! Don’t freak out now. Okay?” I gave her a moment to process my words. “I was coming to see you, but my car hit a tree. Probably I shouldn’t drive it before inspection. I am a few miles from you. On the road.”

She did not panic. Thank God! I was okay. I wouldn’t want to scare her. She had a weak heart, and stress was the last thing I wanted to give her for Christmas.

“You had a car crash?! Mia, are you okay? Is there someone hurt? Adrian? Oh, God!” she yelled after a moment of silence.

Yeah, I was too quick to think that my overemotional mother would hear me when I told her not to freak out.

“I am alone, Mom. No one is hurt. Can you send someone? It’s pretty chilly here.” I rolled my eyes, hoping she would relax and see how calm I sounded.

“Oh, alone! Um, of course, dear. I will call someone instantly. Dad already had a few drinks at Drew’s birthday and went to bed, but I know who will come. Just hold on, dear. Soon you will be having hot tea with Mom. Okay?” She said, and I smiled at her determination.

Once she had a plan, she was calmer and unstoppable. I truly missed her, but last Christmas Adrian had asked me to stay in the big city and go celebrate with his coworkers. After that, we kept ourselves busy with our things. I was pushing my editing to a higher level, hoping for a promotion, and started writing a book on the side. With all that’s been going on, I hadn’t realized over a year passed since I last saw my parents.

Glancing at the mirror, I inspected the girl with long blonde hair and green irises. Her face was pale, but her cheeks and nose were red from the cold. Her eyes were still and deprived of any joyful sparks. The full lips, always with a strawberry gloss, were pressed in a thin line. It was like that for months. It had nothing to do with the car crash.

Twenty minutes after I called my mother, a truck stopped on the road, and I narrowed my eyes to see past the falling snow and the blinding lights of the newcomer. Guessing that this should be my rescue, I grabbed my bag, got out of the car, and approached the big green vehicle.

The passenger door next to the driver had opened, showing me the only free seat, and a guy’s voice invited me in.

Climbing inside, I closed the door behind me and removed the snowflakes from my face. When I turned to my savior, my eyes widened at his impressive but familiar features. Smirking at me was Matt, the boy next door from my childhood home.

“Are you okay, M? Anything that hurts?” He shamelessly inspected my body with his eyes, igniting a fire inside my chest.

“I am fine, just some scratches. Only my car got hurt.” I chewed on the inside of my cheek, staring outside in a futile try to see my purple Toyota through the blizzard.

“Oh, don’t worry about it! It will be checked and fixed. Leave it to me.” He wiggled his brows with a ridiculously attractive smile, making me question myself. How didn’t I notice his perfect teeth until now?

“Thank you, M,” I gave him a nod, hugging my torso to keep the warmth.

“M and M are back together, huh?” He used an old inside joke we made when we were kids, using our names and candy. “Who would have thought that the big city would make you even cuter?”

Oh, God! A compliment already?

Whatever he had done for the last years since he moved out of his parent’s home must have worked pretty well for him, too. He was the most wanted boy in school, but now he brought it to a higher level. He was crazy-attractive. The tan he adopted on his face had made the blue in his eyes pop, and I tried not to stare at how handsome he was.

“Uh, M? Thank you for coming to pick me up so late,” I gave him a wide smile, checking out his big shoulders and flat belly, my mind playing with the idea of how he would look without his warm clothes.

My crave for intimacy and the constant search for romance, I could tell my thoughts were going to get me in trouble.