3. Exciting shopping

As always, my mom had prepared the best pancakes ever. Her days as a cook in the local diner were in the past now, but her amazing skills would never fade. I had missed her food. When I sat down on the overused table in the small dining room, the scent of our breakfast almost made me forget Matt was with us, making me excited and somehow shy.

“Thank you for inviting me for those yummy pancakes, ma’am.” The guy next door showed his white pearl teeth to my mother, and she just nodded, taking her place next to dad.

My eyes landed on Matt, who was sitting across from me and our irises met, electrifying my soul, so I quickly looked away. I was no kid, I knew I was attracted to him, but I also knew Adrian wasn’t in the past yet. It made me feel like I was cheating on him somehow. Maybe it was a habit to always consider myself taken, always in a relationship… or was it too soon to flirt with another?

Whatever it was, for one thing, I was sure. I was curious about how Matt’s lips would feel on mine, and my body was hungry for a man’s most intimate touch. Nothing sexual had happened to me for the last month, and I was on the edge - a too-easy target for someone who would desire me.

Willing to put up a good fight against my weak naughty thoughts, I dived into my food. Talking about something else and ordinary would help, so I found a topic.

“So, why were you at our doorstep so early, M?” I teased Matt while I stuffed unattractively my mouth with a big piece of blueberry syrup pancake.

“I came to inform you I picked up your car and drove it to our repair shop. It will be ready in a day or two.” He simply responded.

“You have a repair shop? Since when?” I gaped at him with my widened eyes.

“Yeah, it is what I love to do the most. Cars are my thing. It is the conclusion after months of soul-searching.” He explained with a smirk.

I never knew he liked cars. It made me wonder how much I ignored him, blinded by Adrian. I guess I had eyes and ears only for my boyfriend.

“Why didn’t you tell me, Mom?” I turned to my mother, who was smiling at me while whispering something to dad. “Mom!” I scolded her, figuring out she must be hinting something about me and Matt.

“Oh, well! It never came up, dear.” She cleared her throat, her eyes playfully moving between my face and Matt’s.

“And you mostly call to your mother, talking about girl stuff and books.” Father defended himself without me even asking him a thing. “So, don’t look at me.”

“It is not a big deal, M. You don’t have to know everything about every person in your hometown.” Matt winked at me, making me stare at him for a second.

“Yeah, I know. It’s just that you live across the street. It isn’t very common to have a repair shop so close to your home. It’s exquisite!” I said, disguising my nervousness.

“Such a fancy word, Mia. Those books really can change a person’s thinking, huh?” Father proudly nodded, and I smiled at the way his beard almost dipped into his plate.

Suddenly, something bumped into my feet under the table. Automatically, I shot a surprised look at Matt, wondering if he did that by mistake. No, he was grinning at me. My heart skipped a beat.

Then he winked at me again, probably hinting that what Dad said was funny or something. Of course, my dirty thoughts wanted to take this gesture differently. I bent my head down to hide my red face.

“So where is Adrian? Is he coming here later or…?” Matt innocently asked me, but his sudden question on such a sensitive topic startled me and I accidentally dropped my fork on the floor.

“Um... I am sorry! Excuse me, please.” I said with a confused expression, bent down to pick up my fork, and left the room.

I wasn’t done eating, but I had to avoid those questions for now. I had no idea what would I tell them. Was I with Adrian, or had we broken up after years together?

I was determined not to be weak and let him back in my life if he was going to keep putting me in second place. His message was the reason why I almost killed myself on the road last night.

Damn it, I wouldn’t even be in the car at such a blizzard if it wasn’t for our fight.

And what was with his message? He did not hint in any way that he regrets how things turned out. Was he thinking that all was fine, and I just needed some time to cool down? If that was the case, then I had no boyfriend anymore. I just did not know where we stood.

As much as it pained me to confess to myself, my love for him was no longer as strong as it was before.

***

For an hour, I was faking I was cleaning my room. Organizing stuff the way I wanted it now, as a grown young woman and not a teenager. I was hiding, running from a conversation with my mother.

Just when I thought it might be easier and better if I simply told her about the fight and skipped the details, someone knocked on the door.

“Mia, can I come in, dear?” Mom’s polite voice questioned, and I invited her inside.

“I know, Mom--” I started, but she spoke at the same time.

“Would you join me for--” She calmly said but stopped to let me talk.

“Join you where?” I ignored the fact I was about to tell her what my problem was.

“Um, for shopping. A lot must be bought for the holidays, and I thought you would warm your mother’s heart by helping with it.” Her lips lifted at the corners.

I felt the need to hug her, but for some reason, I ignored that urge and stared at the way the wrinkles around her chocolate eyes deepened when she smiled.

“Sounds like fun. I need to buy some stuff for myself too, anyway.” I nodded and went to grab my jacket and my phone from the desk.

“When I walked inside, you were saying something, dear? What was it?” She reminded me, but I was feeling weak again and just told her I forgot what it was.

On our short drive in my father's jeep to the center of the town, I kept on talking about my Toyota and how happy I was with it. She knew I was nervously rambling about my new car because I was running from something, but I could tell she loved the ride anyway.

After we bought what she had on a long list in her pocket, we left the groceries in the car and went to the local boutique. I did not pack anything, and I needed some clothes. Mother stopped at the door to gossip about the holiday events with some woman, while I explored.

There wasn’t much of a choice in this small store, but I wasn’t picky. My slim figure looked pretty well in everything. I looked around for a red long-sleeved dress, planning to put it on for the Christmas photos in front of the tree. Some jean pants, two warm shirts, socks - nothing special… until my eyes landed on a purple lace bra with a matching thong. It was delicate and perfect. I traced it with my fingers, touching the flowers, embedded in the fabric.

My heart ached when reality reminded me that I had no one to put this on for. I was too damn mad at Adrian and I had no idea what he should do to make me go back to him. Matt’s grinning face popped into my mind, but I shook my head to chase him away. He was crazy attractive, but for all I knew, he might even have a wife.

I turned my back on the underwear, but a second later, I moved to grab it from its place and I tossed it in the cart with the other clothes I was going to buy. Going to pay for my things, I moved towards my mother, and like the gossiping woman she is, she pointed towards me, while talking to the cashier.

“Isn’t it right, Mia? Tell her that I am right.” Mother said confidently like I was supposed to know what were they talking about.

“What to te--” I began, but just then from the corner, leading to the other part of the store, appeared a tall guy…bumping into my shopping basket.

Some clothes spilled on the floor and I had to squat to gather them. I did not see who was the man I crashed into, but I did not want any man to see my future bra that was now exposed in front of me, so I hastily moved to retrieve it. 

“Excuse me, pretty ma’am.” I recognized the amused Matt before I lifted my head to see him. “I am very, extremely sorry to…say that I can’t hold my tongue behind my teeth.” He joked.

I got up, hiding the underwear under my armpits, and stared at his cocky smirk with a shy expression and red cheeks.

“What can’t you hide? We just bumped into each other.” I asked at a loss.

“I can’t keep my words from falling. Isn’t that what you book lovers say?” He tilted his head, his sea-blue eyes inspecting my face.

“And what are those words, if I may ask?” I decided to play along, giving him a tiny smile.

“That I can’t help but imagine how would you look like in this bra.” He bravely said, leaning to whisper in my ear.

I swallowed loudly, biting my bottom lip in a futile try to hide the surprise and the excitement his boldness created. He moved away from me with a winning expression and exited the store, traced by my hungry eyes.

“Oh, there is something going on! I can tell by her rosy cheeks.” I heard the cashier say to my mother, who was just grinning at me.

I shook my head at them, coming to my senses. I was never good at hiding my emotions from others. Why did I think that this time it would be different?

Now, my mother was surely wondering what was going on with me and Adrian.