There we were in the car, looking at each other trying to understand how everything was going so wrong. We knew what we wanted but sadly it didn’t look like it would happen. We never intended for this to happen, but sadly we don’t have control of how this world develops. When two people who were never supposed to happen, became something so beautiful and unrealistic. Sometimes I like to think it’s a test of faith to see how much you can take. Forced marriage, son, affair, and pregnancy. Long ago I thought that maybe there was no higher power, because how can something so powerful be so cruel at the same time? Why are rapists, pedophiles, murderers, drugs all allowed? My faith has been something that I have been questioning for an exceptionally long time. Yet Carter coming into my life had to be some kind of miracle. He saw hope in everything that was bad. For a long time, I believed even bad people deserve a second chance and for a w

We had stood there just wrapped in each other’s arms as I sobbed and soaked his shirt. My breathing wasn’t steady but I somehow managed to hold my balance. “Nadia it’s okay, you don’t need to go through this alone anymore.” He tried to comfort me but sadly I just felt violated even when I knew he wouldn’t hurt me. I chose to tell him, but it was the trust in me that made it easier. “I need to go for a walk alone please.” His pained look sent my heart to my stomach. I knew that if I didn’t put some space between us I wouldn’t stop crying. He slowly just nodded at me as I headed to the door. There was this spot down the road near the lake that really seemed to calm me. The moon overlooked the water. While the ripples appeared in the lake. I wondered how I was going to be something I had forgotten how to be. After eight years you’d think I would have strengthened my backbone, but it was somehow lost in sudden despair.

 Nadia entered the house, I have never seen someone freeze the way she did. Her tan skin went pale as she stared at my father like she knew him. She was shaking and picking at her fingers and I just couldn’t figure it out. She stormed off saying she was going to pack her stuff and go. “Nadia where are you going?” My father looked at me before shifting to my other side and waited for her to get out of earshot. “Your cousin’s wife's son? I thought I raised you better than that” I rolled my eyes to his judgement. My father was an amazing father, but he wasn’t a good man. I knew the type of leader he was and how he treated my mother which for some reason I never really knew. “Dad, you have no idea what you’re talking about. There is more to the story. But if I told you then you’d find no issues with it.” I went to lean against the

I woke up from my long nap and noticed the other side of the bed was now cold, missing Carter’s warmth. I got up and found him in the kitchen with Bently cooking breakfast. “Hey, are you hungry?” He placed a plate on the table knowing that of course, I was hungry. I sat down on the stool and picked at my food. “Listen, Carlos mentioned a party that’s happening in a few days and he ordered for you to be there. It wasn’t up for debate.” I nodded and played around with my eggs as I took tiny bites. There was a huge elephant in the room causing tension. “Mom, you okay?” Bently plopped himself on the stool next to me. So innocent and I loved it. “Yeah, I am just tired, did you sleep well?” He nodded before attempting to take the bacon off my plate. I grabbed his hand. “Don’t you know better than to take a girl’s bacon?” I joked as I took a bite from the bacon in his hand. He laughed before eating the rest. He stood up and wrapped his arms around me laying

Weeks had passed and I couldn’t seem to get out of bed. How could a moment so perfect be so wrong? I felt betrayed, hurt, worried, devastated, and just completely out of touch with myself. I couldn’t get myself out of this slump as Bently was the reason I forced myself to eat. I know it was selfish, but maybe this is what rock bottom feels like. I recall the blank look Carter had given me before he hit the ground. Was he even alive? No one had told me anything and it was killing me. I think they were trying to avoid giving me any more bad news. The door to the room I was staying in opened. The man with brown eyes walked in. “Get out of bed. You’ve been cooped up for two weeks and Bently needs his mom.” He demanded. But sadly, my body just couldn’t move. He threw the covers off me, “You stink, and for someone who only eats soup your clothes are getting too tight.” I got the pillow and threw it at him as h