Edited.CHRISI scroll through the computer while sighing, I've been searching for a solution to my problems but I can't find any, then I spotted a video, I shouldn't be looking at this but who cares?It was a video of a girl cutting, she said is helps you feel better. A video rated 18+I think I'm running into depression, I can't sleep, I lost all apatite, I only study and study and study.I got up from my desk chair and head to the bathroom, I grabbed a razor and walk back to my desk.I rolled my sleeve up as I sigh, my hand shook. "Do it! No don't do it! Do it come on! No don't do that!"I drop the razor while sighing, I can't hurt myself, it won't solve anything, other than make me a psychopath. I don't wanna die maybe yes just a little bit, but still I don't want to commit suicide! I'm I crazy! What was I thinking!

Sorry for not updating earlier....CHRIS "Chris I'm still waiting!" Fred called out from downstairs."Yeah, just a sec!" I called back, my jacket, breeches, chest protector, glove, sleeves, Épée and my mask, I grabbed them all and shove them in my sport bag, I threw it over my shoulder and raced out of my room.I stop dead in my track when I saw the stairs, I feel dizzy and nervous all of a sudden, since I fell from the stairs three days ago  I'm so deadly scared of heights, my therapists said I was suffering from acrophobia. I'm currently going through some therapy, I don't think that will help but I loose nothing to try.I slowly back off from the stairs, it looks high! My heart is pounding!

Edited.NATHANThe rays of the sun came disturbing my sleep, I groan as I rubbed my eyes, 6:30.I took some time to be fully awake, I immediately drove home, Fred's car is pack in the garage, I quickly pulled over and got out, I tip toed upstairs and shut my door.There was a soft knock on the door, I quickly pulled the door open."Where have you been?" Fred asked, before I could say anything he spoke up, "where is Chris? I can't find him anywhere. The library, his room, the garden and the basement.""He must be somewhere around, I'll help you look for him." He nodded, I dragged my feet to Jack's room.He was sound asleep on his bed with his messy hair over his face."Jack! Jack! Jack!!!" I put my fingers in his ears.He groans while holding his ears "stop Nathan! I'm tired."

JACK Drawing is what I do everyday while waiting for a news, everything else is of no importance, is been two days since the last news from him. The house is so silent and gloomy like a grave yard, if anything should happen to him I fear the worst, our family will be prolonged in a sad division for ever. Things are not like the use to be when he was around, we thought everything will be good once he is gone but things are just worst. Father and Fred keep torturing themselves day and night looking for him. I can't stop feeling terrible for what I did, Nathan too, we just feel like going back in time and correcting our errors, I have sleepless nights and nightmares! I can't eat I can't do anything other than thinking and regretting. I walked in the hall as I hugged myself, it is so silent and cold, just like a haunted hall, I sigh as I passed Christopher's door. Ho

CHRISI slam my locker shut after pulling out my economic textbook. Everything is absolutely perfect, everyone was happy to see me again except for some few minority bastards.My phone started buzzing."Hey Fred?" I answered."Uh.. How are you doing? Are you enjoying school? So you wanna come home?" He spoke awkwardly."Yeah everything totally fine, don't worry about me, am O.K!" I rolled my eyes."Are you sure?" I bet he was raising his brows."Yeah, totally, everything is great and people are friendly as usual, please Fred stop being such a mom!" I laughed."Fine I was just trying to look after my younger brother but I was just stab deep in the heart. Ouch!"I chuckled, "sorry, sorry, thanks for caring so bloody much, no offense.""Why can't you express yourself without