I thought that life is so unfair. I even hated God for letting all of this happened.   I only loved one woman in my life, but why did God allow me to be the reason for her sufferings?   I hated God so much that I tried to kill myself. I feel like, my mere existence is the cause of the suffering of many people. The suffering of the people I love.   They said when you don’t understand, you just need to trust God.   I failed to do this. I failed to trust Him. One thing God has proved to me was, he is still in control.   He did not let me die, instead, He gave me what I longed desire, and that is Ellie. I can’t believe that s