Trigger Warning: Self-harm               I don’t know what time is it right now, but I managed to go home. I didn’t even bother to check my phone. I may look like a zombie right now because of my messy hair and dirt all over my clothes. I walked inside the bus looking like this and went home also looking like this. I don’t care what others may say. I'm too tired to even think why the heck all of these things happened in such a small period of time.               When I arrived at the house, no one’s around. It may be because they’re not home yet or they’re already sleeping. Either way, I don’t seem to care. I walked to my room like a real zombie. I don’t seem to be in my right mind now. I went inside the bathroom and washed my face. &nbs

              I don’t know what life has installed for me and my family but for all the years that I lived this life, I don’t know if I should be thankful that I am alive or should be wanting to just die.                 My sisters are still crying in front of our aunt. Hindi ko aakalaing nasa kabaong na si tita. Hindi man kami magkasundo, nagpapasalamat naman ako sa pagpapa-aral at pagpapatira niya sa akin sa bahay niya. Naging malupit man ang naging karanasan ko sa kanya, hindi ko naman makayanang magpasalamat sa naging kinahinatnan niya, lalo na kapag nakikita kong nahihirapan ang mga kapatid ko.                             Hinaplos ko ang likod ni bunso para patahanin siya. Kahapon pa si

              The next couple of days was the same. My routine would be waking up at five to cook breakfast, then prepare to go to Morning Dew, eat lunch and catch up with Mav, go home and cook lunch, proceed to the convenience store and go home at 8 to cook dinner before going to bed.                 Ngunit isa lang ang inaalala ko nitong mga araw. Hindi pa rin kasi nakauwi ang dalawa kong kapatid. Si ate Kheana ay umuwi daw noong isang araw sabi ni bunso pero hindi rin nagtagal. Kahapon ko lang din naisipang buksan ang kwarto niya at wala na ang ilan sa mga damit niya. Wala na rin ang maleta niya kaya isa lang ang ibig sabihin noon. Lumayas siya. Hindi ko alam kung saan siya hahanapin. Hindi ko rin kilala ang mga kaibigan niya. At higit sa lahat, hindi rin siya nagrereply sa mga texts ko.      &nb

              My phone kept on ringing but I ignored it all. I know Mav is worried for me since the day I walked out of their house. Hindi ko sinabi na narinig ko ang pinag-usapan nila ng mama niya. Ni hindi ko nga alam kung makakausap ko ba siya ng maayos. Baka kasi madala ako sa galit at may masabi akong masama sa kanya kahit wala naman siyang kasalanan.                 Alam kong napipilitan lang si Mav na sundin ang mama niya. Kaya pala ayaw din niya minsang pag-usapan ang tungkol sa pamilya niya. Matagal na pala siyang pinipilit sa hindi niya gusto.                 Hindi niya gusto ‘yong anak ng business partner ng daddy niya pero wala siyang magagawa. At mas lalong wala akong magagawa doon. Alam ko kung ano ang dapat gawin pero parang hindi ko k

              I spent my remaining summer days unable to talk to anyone. Mav still hasn’t contacted me and I am getting all my hopes die down. Maybe realization hit him hard and he finally saw whom he truly loves. Or maybe he just can’t get away from the power of his family and their wealth. Either way, I am not expecting anything anymore. I think my feelings got numbed by the pain.                 I got another job and it is night shift. I was prohibited by Khyzel to work, but I insisted. This is the only way I know to get my brain away from unhelpful and depressing thoughts. I would even like it if I’ll die working my ass out than die out of frustrations.                 Even though Khyzel was adamant on keeping me healthy, I think she understood m