I cried hard that night to a point where I had to leave my unit. I can't face Grey. I can't let him watch me cry because I know that's the least thing he could handle, he got a lot on his plate right now. I wanted to show him we could handle everything and that we could surpass this... pero paano? Gayong ako mismo ay hindi alam kung kaya ba namin... kung kaya ko ba? I don't think I can handle seeing him in so much pain. I don't think I have the strength to face him and tell him that this is all gonna be okay.  This is far from okay. Of all the people... why Grey?  Mugto ang mga mata ko noong bumalik sa loob, dis oras na ng gabi. I stayed in our Condo Tower's study room. Para akong tanga doon na tahimik na umiiyak sa isang sulok. Kahit noong makabalik ay hindi ko siya kayang harapin. But I took up all the courage I have and then entered my room, only to find him

"Get out," Grey dismissively said.  As soon as I was done working, I went straight here to check on him. Wala sina Tita at nagprisinta naman ako na magcover muna sa kanila. This has been my daily routine anyway. Hindi pa nga lang ako nakakapaglapag ng pagkain ay pinapaalis niya na kaagad ako. Pero kahit ganoon, nagtuloy-tuloy pa rin ako na parang walang naririnig. Pagod na kaming lahat, pero alam ko na mas doble ang pagod ni Grey. "Get out, Peyn. Don't make me repeat myself again." "After you eat, aalis ulit ako kaagad. I promise," wala sa loob na sagot ko na lang, malapit nang masanay sa paulit-ulit na pagtataboy niya.  Kaya lang, hindi katulad noong nakaraan na kumakain siya para makaalis na ako, ngayon ay matigas talaga ang ulo niya at mukhang walang balak na kumain. Nangangawit na ang kamay ko pero hindi niya ito

"Peyn!" I heard a loud bang on my door. Someone's knocking. Ipinikit ko ang mga mata ko, walang balak na tumayo para pagbuksan sila ng pinto. My friends are outside my room, and I know why. Halos dalawang araw na akong hindi lumalabas. I skipped work and I don't even visit the hospital since that night.  Grey.  I closed my eyes firmly, tears threatening to fall.  "Peyn! Buksan mo 'to!" Kara's voice echoed.  "Your parents are worried. Open up, please," Calum added.  Ayoko. I just wanted to lay here. My body felt numb. I just feel so tired. My whole life is tiring. "Hoy, Peyn! Huwag ka nga mag-aksaya ng panahon sa pagmumukmok! Bumangon ka diyan at ayusin mo ang sarili mo!" Carl shouted. "Ganito ka na lang ba? Itatapon mo na rin ba ang buhay mo at wala kang

I wish I could go back in time...     "What do you mean cancel? Cancelled again?" iritadong tanong na ni Tita Sam sa kausap na doktor. "How many times have you cancelled on this procedure? Twice?"     "I'm sorry, Mrs. Lopez. Right now, it is very risky to proceed with the therapy. Hindi pa rin kaya ng katawan ng patient. If we continue, we might risk his life. I don't want to do it if I know there is a little chance of survival. I hope you understand."     "Understand? Naka-ilang intindi na ba ako? Dalawang beses niyo nang hindi itinuloy? And what will happen now? Wait for another week? Another month? Kailan pa? My son is almost dying!" Tita Sam argued, totally losing it now. Nahuli ko naman ang paghawak ni Tito Geoff sa siko ni Tita, pinipigilan ito.     "Calm down, honey," alu niya pa sa asawa.   "Kaya mo pa bang kumalma? Tign

Mar. 7, 202xPeyn,How are you? I hope you’re doing good. I’m sorry. I bet you’re crying reading this. I’m sorry, I made you cry again. How many days has it been since I left? Or is it weeks now? Don’t cry, please. Just imagine that I went on a vacation and we’ll see each other soon. Dang. I don’t know if I’m still making sense. I really don’t know how to ease your pain. I wanted to hug you. I didn’t know if I still need to blab now knowing that this is all making you cry. I love you, Peyn. Please continue living your life. Please do it for me. Please.Grey————————————————————————————Mar 18, 202xPeyn,How’s life? I hope it’s not giving you a hard time, this time. I hope everyone’s doing good. Can you do me a favor? Please greet my mom a happy birthday for me. I prepared a gift for her under my bed. I made Nurse Jade prepare this little surprise. (I know, I just couldn’t do anything but be a bother to her.) There’s a lit