CALUMShit. Shit. Shit.How do you define useless? Watching the love of your life cry into the arms of her best friend instead of yours. Being unable to comfort your superstar. Is it okay to touch her on school grounds but as a stepsibling offering comfort? “Your dad is okay,” I say as a contribution. But Cathy’s face is hidden in Amelia’s neck, away from me. A small crowd has gathered around us, I chase them off to their next class but allow Rose and the other girl, I think Taylor is her name, step up to the duo. They don’t ask questions but join in the hug and the emptiness I thought was under control burns a hole through my chest. I do miss Sam and Lucas. And Tessa. I miss my friends. Seeing there’s nothing more than a crying girl, the rest of the students disperse, leaving us alone once more. The girls break the hug but Amelia stays at Cathy’s side with an arm on her shoulder. I ball my hands in my pockets to refrain from touching my girlfriend. My baby. I failed her. I kn

The silence drags on for two minutes. I nibble on my lip without a reply to Calum. Emotions war in his eyes, he offers me a sad smile and attempts to leave but the sound of my zip opening stops him. Eyes on the task at hand, I step out of my gown. I’m nervous. “Thank you,” he says. He removes his clothes with more grace than I did. When he’s naked, I take off my underwear. “Want to get in the shower?” “Already did,” I answer. Calum laughs but it sounds strange to my ears. “Me too.” I stare at his dick, his beautiful length and he hides it behind his palms. “Just ignore it,” he says forcefully with a faker laugh. “Little man doesn’t know how to behave around you.” There’s nothing little about that man but I nod to ease some off his tension. I get into the bed first and flip the bedside lamp on while he goes off to switch off

Calum pulls up at the house. I’m about to thank him for the ride but Dad’s car is sitting right in front. Is he home? I wrench the door open and jet to the front door, banging on it like a demon on the loose. Calum calls my name but I’m on only one mission: Get to my Dad. The doctor said he might not be home until the end of this week. The door opens at the same time Calum gets to me. He pulls the key from under the doormat and I shrug. I wasn’t thinking, I still am not. I need to see my dad first. Pushing past Dani and into the living room, my feet grind to a stop. Dad is on the couch. He smiles. “Cathy, I—” I lunge into his lap, my arms tightening around his frame as my face buries into his chest. Dad wheezes with laughter but doesn’t let go. My tears soak his shirt and he plants a kiss on my temple. He is home. He is fine. He didn’t leave me. Death is inevitable

Calum is finally talking to me. It’s Wednesday. Our midterms are over and we have the rest of the week off. Calum snaps a finger in my face. “Did you hear anything I said?” he asks. I just smile. To have him talking to me again, even if it’s with a big scowl makes me happy. “Cathy!” I push a foot forward, and he braces an elbow on his car’s roof. “No. Not really. What did you say?” Annoyance twists his expression and his eyes twitch. These days, he’s unkind to me. I told him I wouldn’t be joining him home yesterday and he didn’t even ask why. Just a simple okay was all I got. I don’t like this new Calum.“Are you going home with me today?” he asks. “Yeah. That’s why I’m here.” “Right.” He unlocks the car. “Your door is open.”Two minutes later and my stepbrother hasn&rs

CALUMDon’t try to understand women. Sometimes, they say they don’t want you but what they mean is: please stay. And when they say they need space. They could simply mean: hold me but don’t say a word to me because I’m mad at you for reasons that shouldn’t be known to you. I’ve learnt all these with Cathy. But I don’t find them cute anymore, not with the way she has treated me over the last few days. If she really wants me, I don’t know. We have fallen apart. She’s now my sad place. I don’t think of her and smile. I think of her and remember the look of vehemence, disgust and anger when she told me she didn’t want to go anywhere with me. I can try to deal with that. The space will do both of us good anyway. What I can’t deal with are the ridiculous prices and conditions it requires to find an apartment that will sublet for two months. That’s enough t