All Chapters of Falling for a John: Chapter 101 - Chapter 110
118 Chapters
100
ASHTONI gathered my courage, searching for the right words. I took a deep breath. "I'm afraid for my brother. I'm terrified this will happen again, with an even worse outcome, and all I want is for him to be okay." I swallowed hard. "What's also weighing on me is that today, this will haunt Primrose for the rest of her damn life." I cracked my neck, feeling the stiffness in my bones. "What about you?" Lennox asked, intrigued by my confusion. "It will haunt you too." "I can handle it," I replied, laughing bitterly. Then a thought struck me, considering our current location. "Here I am, standing in a hotel vending area." Lennox frowned, perplexed. "I'm not following."
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101
LENNOX "How did it go?" Kaleb asked Perth. I opened the dressing room door, and we all rushed inside. "Only a few fans and one paparazzi," Perth replied. His gaze turned to me, and I gave him a look that conveyed we had been deliberately sacrificed. We had willingly taken on the role of the diversion in this instance. However, I had hoped that the paparazzi would have given up their pursuit in Nevada, but most of them had made it to Utah and subsequently to our faces. "More than a few," Kaleb answered as he surveyed the dressing room. It was furnished with black leather couches, silver sofa chairs, a plastic fold
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102
ASHTON We find ourselves in the vast expanse of rural Kansas, far from any bustling city. It's late at night, and Lennox, my companion, refuses to join me in bed. He's engrossed in his work, sifting through another set of legal documents that have been sent to him. Sleep eludes him as he tirelessly searches through the files. I remind myself that this state of affairs won't last forever. I decide not to pester him and instead let him focus on his task. I retreat to my bunk and draw the privacy curtain, seeking solace in the small, enclosed space. At midnight on a Saturday, there is only one person I want to talk to. I am aware that it's late in Philadelphia, but I have a strong feeling he will be awake. I anxiously hope that he will answer my call. 
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103
ASHTON Lincoln smiled. "We'll all protect you, Maddy. Just try not to outrun us." "Virgins don't die in horror movies," I interjected, crossing my arms as a breeze swept through. "You've got it backward." "Sleazy characters die first," Sandro remarked from the ground, unbuttoning another button on his white shirt, unfazed by the cold. "Well, in that case, most of us will die," Davin said, tying a bandana around his forehead. I caught Sandro's gaze. "Yeah, you're right." I nodded, appreciating the rare agreement between us on this damn trip. "Death by sex," I explained. "It's a common trope, especially in older ho
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104
LENNOX We made our way through a dirt path, cutting through a vast wheat field, guiding us towards a small town in Kansas. As we walked, the familiar sound of notifications pinged and buzzed from our phones, indicating that the cell signal had finally returned. Curious, I checked my messages, especially the one I had sent to my father earlier that morning. It was the first time in years that I had reached out to him. The text read: If you're harassing Ashton, hoping that I'll return to medicine, let me know now. We can discuss it.  Crafting that message took me an hour, as I had to restrain myself from initially lashing out with anger and frustration.
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105
LENNOX I reached for the tin and sifted through the cookies. Half of them were decorated with pink icing and two words: "I'm sorry." "I don't get it," Davin said, looking at me. Neither did I. "Did she get glasses?" I asked him. "Maybe she finally realized you're not worth special deliveries—" He threw a cookie aggressively at Ashton, who caught it effortlessly. I raised an eyebrow at Davin. "Fuck you," I said, giving him the middle finger. Davin flashed a brief smile and watched as Ashton examined the "I'm sorry" cookie. Willow noticed the
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106
ASHTON I felt a numbness spreading through me. The weight of the situation threatened to crush me, but I fought against it with all my might. I was aware that I had only a short amount of time with this girl. Whatever I said next could make or break her, and I never took that responsibility lightly. "Life can be tough sometimes," I said. "My mom and dad taught me that when you're unsure if you can keep going, you just have to take it one day at a time, one step at a time. Can you do that with me?" She breathed heavily, tears silently streaming down her face. "You're here, today," I said, reaching deep within myself to offer her something, even though it felt like it was collapsin
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107
LENNOX "Wait, wait," Ashton gasps, his breath hot against my jaw. Every time we end up in the cramped bunk together, it's a test of self-control. A movie plays on the flip-down screen, Everybody Wants Some!!, but we've abandoned it multiple times to focus on each other. Our legs are entwined, chests pressed together. Our hands grip, squeeze, and pull. God, I want more. But his hands pause mine with a whispered plea. I watch as he tries to suppress his primal desires, struggling to catch his breath. A mischievous smile tugs at my lips. We're not about to engage in passionate lovemaking just inches away from his co
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108
ASHTON Willow vigorously shook her head. "Tony," she whispered, "Sandro couldn't have known." But her certainty wavered, knowing how often he had opposed me. There was no time to whisper back. Becky responded, "Due to the time differences and your spontaneous tour schedule, it was difficult to keep in touch. You've been absent." If she said that again, I would explode like a firework at 400 degrees Fahrenheit. "I created this charity," I stated firmly. "I have a good relationship with the board. Why would you even consider pushing me out?" It made absolutely no sense. 
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109
ASHTON "Seven years ago," he continues, relentless. "Molly fell into the creek behind the lake house, sinking into the treacherous mud. I was halfway there, already ankle-deep in water, but you emerged out of nowhere, donning your shining white armor and carrying a ten-foot rope." His eyes are bloodshot as he says, "It's these little moments that define you. You mean everything to my siblings. To the Haynes girls, to your own sisters and brother. You've become an inescapable shadow, because when you're everything to them, I can't be anything. So who am I?" Sandro points at his chest. "Who am I? And what do I become if I follow you to Harvard? Lost and confused? I was already filled with self-loathing and bitterness, but I'd be even more resentful, waking up every day hating myself for not being more like Ashton J
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