A movie played in Emanuele's head.Johnny was smiling, hopeful, even a little dull despite drawing attention to himself. He had been waiting for this for a long time.The girl with the honey-colored hair didn't know whether to run out immediately, discreetly interrupt the boy's speech, or simply stand there without saying anything.Of course she would be very happy if he actually asked her to marry him. The two of them were seeing each other quite often, they confessed their feelings, they had mutual trust and a lot of respect, of course. The friends gathered there already thought of them as an official couple.Emanuele never thought she would actually have a serious relationship. The first and only time she got involved with someone, it was more of a fling than anything. Mainly because the man himself avoided showing others that he had any involvement with her, probably to protect her from some reprisal.Although the path she followed had a more than obvious destination, the girl sti

Emanuele's hormones boil so hard under her skin that she is afraid she will boil over.She gasps, feeling the weight of Johnny's request. To lose her virginity. To allow him, who was now her boyfriend, to be her first man.Ashamed, the girl remembered that the first sexual contact she had was not with Johnny, but with Joshua, when he masturbated her. Of course, the girl would never say this, even after the little talk about sincerity they had just had.It was one thing to be sincere, but it was another to completely lose track of things.Standing there, still dressed but dying to get naked, Johnny looked at her with a kind of hunger, an urgent and insatiable desire. She wanted it too, of course, but she was afraid. Would it hurt? Would she regret it?Her mother always called her a "tramp" when she could, especially after the young woman had dyed her hair red. Unconsciously, she was very afraid of being looked down on or judged. Breaking that line, taking that big step, seemed like a l

Emanuele is so embarrassed, so shocked and frightened that she cannot even formulate a sentence.Little by little she is trying to connect logic with the whole thing: Joshua lived in the same apartment as Johnny, maybe even on the same floor (total bad luck!). Did he go there to talk to him? Yes, they had already settled down after the unfortunate episode of the fight, but it was still strange.The girl's voice sounded slightly high-pitched when she asked:"What are you doing here?"Flabbergasted, Joshua replied:"I came to talk to my neighbor. And what are you doing here?"Then the man's eyes dwell on the details: on the slightly flushed cheeks, the messy, barely disguised hair in a loose bun.... And the shirt is obviously too big for the body, with a lack of feminine adornments. In other words, a Johnny shirt.Emanuele realizes the line of reasoning being formed, but also cannot admit the truth. She puts one of her hands on her waist, trying in vain to be inclement."I've been going

Emanuele looks at Johnny, expecting rebuke, shock, anguish, or something more or less like that.Well, there is surprise in his eyes, that's a fact. But his tone of voice doesn't change when he asks:"Is that so?"The girl is dead embarrassed, but proceeds with the explanation:"He touched me. Only once. And then we never talked about it again... So I didn't make a big deal out of it. But... I guess I should have told you anyway. But I was afraid. I'm sorry."The boy sighs deeply and looks at the walls of his own home. Then he finally speaks:"It's okay.""What?""It's okay. I'm not angry about it.""I don't understand. In the hospital you were so sad when I told you about the kiss.""It was different.""Why?""Well, until then I had only a suspicion that something was going on between you. And what upset me was that you didn't even count on the trust that was established between us. I felt a little betrayed in that respect. And also... Wait. On the day of the kiss he didn't touch you

After slapping Joshua on the cheek, which caused a great commotion among the incredulous onlookers, Emanuele ran away.Not back to Johnny's apartment, nor to Johnny himself, but to a place far away, unknown and empty, if she could find anything of the kind in such a populated and hectic city.Yes, she knew she was angry. She knew she had gotten the dose wrong when she told Joshua that he remained in the role of victim by choice, probably sounding like Alexandra.Although part of her brain pointed out that Joshua's reaction to calling her a coward and worthless was not in itself what he really thought, but rather a response to Emanuele's own verbal attack, the girl felt the cruel truth hitting her like a sharp arrow through the heart.Seeing Thabata there, talking so calmly to Joshua, had disrupted any chance the girl had of not losing control. And how had he fallen for that nonsensical talk about change? Could it be that if she didn't come around and take her own course, the two of th