I SIGHED DREAMILY as I looked at the ultrasound pictures that I have on my scrapbook in my pregnancy journey. Time flew past, and I’m already now on my seventh month of pregnancy, same goes as Girly who was in her eight months of her pregnancy. Gusto kong sabay kaming mag-celebrate ni Girly ng baby shower at gender reveal party sa Casa Accardi. Masaya ako na pumayag siya. Sobrang malapit talaga siya sa aking puso. At miss na miss ko na rin siyang kasama. Medyo maselan kasi ang pagbubuntis niya kaya’t hindi siya masyadong nakalalabas ng bahay nilang dalawa ni Consigliere Marco. Naiintindihan ko naman na kailangan niyang magpahinga muna pero hindi ko mapigilang maging emosyonal sa tuwing magkikita kaming dalawa. Kahit kasama ko si Cherry, iba pa rin kasi kapag kasama ko si Girly. Matagal din naman kasi kaming naging magkasama at alam na alam niya ang mga gusto at ayaw ko. Magkasundo rin kami sa lahat ng mga bagay. I’m dumbfounded and delighted to the wonderful news that Girly was c

I WAS AWAKENED by a cold splash of the water through my face. My head and body was aching as hell including my deep wounds and scratches. I couldn’t help but to cough, and gasped for air as someone tugged my hair harshly which made me groan in pain. “Aw! Ang sakit naman, ‘no? Well. . . You really deserve to suffer pain in a hellish way, B*tch. Akala mo ba ay tapos na? Sad to say, hindi pa. And now, nasa exciting part na tayo at iyon ang kamatayan ninyo ng mga anak mo,” sarkastikong turan ng isang pamilyar na tinig na hindi ko akalaing maririnig ko pa hanggang ngayon. “J-Jona Joyce?” nahihirapan kong pagbanggit ng kaniyang pangalan. With that, Jona Joyce’s grip tightened on my hair which made me dizzy in pain. “Gulat ka, ‘no? Mabuti naman at kilala mo pa akong hayop ka. Akala mo ba hindi ko nakalimutan ang ginawa mo sa amin noon? Well. . . I’m being resurrected from hell to kill you, B*tch. Hinding-hindi kita bibigyan ng isang p*nyetang happy ending habang nabubuhay ako.” Hindi ak

I WAS BEING DIAGNOSED with Major Depressive Disorder and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. I underwent treatments, because I became really out of my mind after Deus Paulo’s lifeless body inside the casket was being buried in the private mausoleum. Nawala ako sa tamang huwisyo at sinasaktan ko na ang aking sarili. Lagi akong nagwawala at umiiyak sa tuwing naalala ko ang pagkamatay ni Deus Paulo. Sobrang sakit nito para sa akin dahil pinipiga ang puso ko. Pakiramdam ko ay nawalan na ng saysay ang buhay ko lalo na’t hindi ko nagawang iligtas at protektahan ang aking anak.Mas lalong tumindi ang galit ko sa tuwing nakikita ko si McKenzie nang dahil na rin sa aking Postpartum Depression. Naging sarado ang isip ko at lagi ko siyang sinisisi mula sa pagkamatay ni Deus Paulo. Walang oras na sinisisi ko siya. Ayaw na ayaw ko rin siyang nakikita o lumalapit sa akin dahil naiinis ako sa kaniyang pagmumukha. Until I lost my sanity. I attempted suicide by cutting my wrists and sleeping inside th

I GAZED at the serene sky as the waves were tamed as I stood near the shore. I couldn’t help but to smile as the sand went on my feet. I slowly lifted my hand to somehow make myself feel that I could touch the cloud that looked like a shark. “Happy birthday, Anak. Miss na miss ka na ni Mama. . . Sana ay masaya ka na kasama sina Nonna sa heaven. Mahal na mahal kita at lagi kang nasa aking puso at isipan,” I uttered softly as the wind blew on me which made my hair and the hem of my skirt dance. A lone tear escaped from my eye. “Soon, we would meet again, but for now, please guide us, being our adorable guardian angel. . .” We visited the private mausoleum of Deus Paulo, and sang him a happy birthday song. His private mausoleum was full of Shark balloons, cake and his favorite foods. After that, we headed here to Il Paraiso di Accardi to continue the celebration. It was a special place that my son really loved when he was still alive in this world. “Mama!” masayang pagtawag sa akin