He stroked over my head, trailing his fingers through my hair. I couldn't fight him. Not after tonight. The security felt too wonderful, my body too drained from all the orgasms, his hard strength too comfortable for me to battle him on the issue. So I slept. The terrors are real. They come in the night when I sleep. I try to fight them, but they nearly always win. Everything is dark because my eyes are closed. But I hear the sounds. Cruel words about someone, disgusting words and names. And terrifying laughter... They think it's funny to degrade this person. My body feels heavy and weak. Still I hear them laughing and replaying all of the evil they have done... **** I woke up screaming and alone in Ethan's bed. I figured out where I was when he came crashing into the bedroom, eyeballs wide. I started crying the minute I saw him. The sobs just got louder when he sat on the bed and grabbed me. "It's okay—I've got you." He rocked me against his chest. Ethan was dressed and I was still

The club scene in London is pretty damn awesome. We didn't do it often, but a good club crawl was just what I needed. My poor psyche was on maximum over- load in a conflict of emotions, fears and guilt I needed to dance and drink and laugh, but most of all I needed to forget about all the shit. Life was too short to dwell on the dark parts, or at least that's what my therapist said. I had an appointment with Dr. Roswell tomorrow at four o'clock and a dinner date with Ethan after. Our first step in the take-it-slow agreement we'd made on the phone. He'd told me he wanted to lay the cards out on the table, and I have to admit I liked that. The truth works best for me. I really don't have anything to hide; it was more being careful about what I wanted to share. And I didn't know how much I could share with Ethan either. There was no guide map to help me.I had to ride the wave and hope I didn't crash into the reef and drown. "Try this. It's magnificent." Benny handed me a tall orangey-re

Dr. Roswell always writes in a notebook during our sessions. It seems very old- school to me, but then this is England and her office is in a building that was standing when Thomas Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence back in Philadelphia. She uses a fountain pen too, which impresses the holy hell out of me.I watched her very beautiful turquoise and gold fountain pen scratch words into her notebook as she listened to me talk about Ethan. Dr. Roswell is a great listener. In fact, it's pretty much the gist of what she does. I don't know what our sessions would consist of if I didn't tell her stuff she could listen to.Sitting behind her elegant French desk table, she was the picture of professionalism and genuine interest. I'd guess her to be in her early fifties with beautiful skin and white hair that did not age her one bit. She always wore unique jewelry and bohemian outfits that made her look cultured and approachable. My dad had helped me find her when I'd first moved t

"Oh, Ethan......My coffee arrived and I wanted to slap the server for interrupting that beautiful speech. I busied myself with doctoring it with sugar and cream. I took a sip and tried to find my words. To be honest, I was caught up in him already. Hook, line and sinker. I wanted all those things with Ethan, I just wasn't sure I would survive him."Too much? Am I scaring you off?"I shook my head. "No. It sounds very nice, actually. And you should know it's something I've never had before. I've never had a relationship like that, Ethan." He grinned. "That works for me, baby. I want to be your first." He raised an eyebrow in a look that dripped of sexual innuendo and made me want to go home with him tonight to start the arrangement. "But I want you to think about it tonight and then tell me what you decide. And you need to know that I am very possessive of what belongs to me.""Really?" The sarcasm rolled out of me. "Never would have guessed that from last night in my flat.""I could

With my purse on my shoulder and my Boots shopping bag in my hand I stepped out of the elevator and walked into a very sleek and artfully designed space. There were framed black-and-white photographs of architectural wonders from all over the world on the walls, big glass windows looking out over the city. and a very pretty redhead behind the desk."Brynne Bennett here to see Mr. Blackstone." She looked me over thoroughly before getting up from her desk. "Oh he's expecting you, Miss Bennett. I'll take you back through to his office." She smiled as she held the door for me. "I hope you like Chinese."I followed her and dismissed the comment, not because I didn't want to answer but because everyone was watching us. Every head at every workstation turned in our direction and stared. I wanted to sink through a crack in the floor and hide. That would be after I killed Ethan. What the hell had he done? Announced in a mass email that his girlfriend was stopping by to give him a blow job in h