DETRIMENTAL

ALANNA.

I stared at the two pink lines on the pregnancy test strip I had and purchased from the store myself. This was the fifth one I was trying on myself and the results were the same thing.

I was pregnant.

As in, I was going to be a mother.

My back hit the wall as I struggled to hold back my sob. I couldn't be pregnant. I couldn't have a child in this condition. I was practically living like a slave in this house, married to this man I was secretly in love with and hoping that he would at least love me back. Even if it was for a day.

Yes, I was that desperate to make him love me. To love me the way I loved him because all I'd ever gotten from him back in return for my love toward him was nothing but attitude and hatred. 

My husband hates me.

I stared at the pink lines again and started crying even more. Abortion shouldn't even cross my mind. I could lose my life in the process and I wasn't about to put myself through that. But at the same time, having a baby in a house where no one wanted me would be more than hell. And I was already experiencing hell.

“Alanna!”

The door to my room where I stayed in the house opened and I jumped, flinching badly. I rushed to hide all the pregnancy test strips I had used before then and kept them secured. With the hem of the dress I was wearing, I wiped my tears hurriedly before rushing to the room where my husband was.

“Did you call me?” I asked as I stood before him. His blue eyes shot daggers through me and my heart broke even more.

“Are you seriously asking me that?” His voice, beautiful yet very cold toward me, made me shiver slightly. I loved this man as much as I was afraid of him. When I didn't answer, he proceeded to ask, “Where are my car keys?”

“I, I’m not sure…”

“Find them!” he snapped and I flinched, once more.

Nolan was rude and cold toward me on a normal day but when he was having a bad day, it was worse. I nodded and jumped out of his sight to go search for the keys. He must have left them in his home office where he worked. So, I went straight there to search for them.

I found the keys sitting prettily on his desk. Usually, he didn't drive but because he was having a bad day, he was going to drive himself.

“Here they are,” I stretched them to him and he snatched them from me. He proceeded to walk past me but I remembered something and immediately muttered the words. “W-will you be home in time for dinner?” I asked.

It was supposed to be our wedding anniversary tonight and I was very sure that he didn't even know that. A year ago, this man married me. He put a ring on my finger because of the scandal my drunken state had caused him. He was yet to forgive me for that.

“Are pigs flying?” he demanded as he slowly turned toward me, staring at me coldly.

“No,” I shook my head, too mute to reply to him.

“Then why are you expecting something from me?” he tilted his head to the side as he took two steps closer to me. “Did I not tell you? Do not expect anything from me. You are not my wife. You are just someone I was misfortunate to come across and the only time I will ever need you is to satisfy my sexual desires.” He deadpanned and his words sliced through my heart.

I gulped, tears filling my eyes. He didn't wait to hear anything before he stormed out and I ran to my room. I didn't bother to shut the door as I fell on my bed and started to cry. Every time he spoke to me, he broke my heart. Yet, I'd never stopped loving him. 

I rubbed my belly and sniffed. If I told him that I was pregnant, he would never be pleased. I knew that already so I wasn't going to tell him. I heard someone walk into my room which made me sit up on my bed. My father-in-law stood a few feet away from me, staring at me.

“Did you want something, sir?” I asked as I climbed down from my bed. I was uncomfortable with the way he was staring at me, especially as the sleeves of my dress had fallen over my shoulders, thereby exposing the sides of my breasts.

He didn't say anything and I stopped myself from sighing as I tried to walk out of the room but he grabbed my hand and pulled me to himself until my chest was flushed against him.

“Sir…” I panicked, my eyes widening.

“Take off your clothes,” he whispered, his lustful eyes on my swollen breast. I started to struggle against him but then he slapped my butt.

“Darling, have you…” 

My mother-in-law appeared at the doorstep and her eyes widened at the sight of us. My father-in-law pushed me off him and I fell to the floor badly. Wincing, I opened my mouth to speak but my mother-in-law was suddenly over me, hitting me all over.

“How dare you?! You slut! You are trying to seduce my husband. You have bitten more than you can chew this time. I'm going to end you.” She slapped me and I started crying. 

When she got off me in anger, she pulled her husband with her and stormed out of the room, promising to come back and end me. I sniffed as I wiped my tears, my heart breaking. And it was at that moment I decided that I couldn't do that anymore. I was going to divorce my husband and leave.

*****

A FEW MONTHS LATER.

 “Congratulations, Ms. Clarkson. Your babies are stunning.” The Doctor smiled at me as she walked into my room.

Babies. She said babies. A few hours ago, I gave birth to two twins. I had divorced my husband and had been stripped of wealth to nothing. For months, I toiled the streets in a faraway town trying to pick myself up while carrying the child of my ex-husband. And now, I've had them.

Tears filled my eyes as I stared at my children in their cots sleeping peacefully. I was still very weak and could barely move my body but as I stared at my babies, I felt strength from nowhere fill me. I had to be strong for my babies. I was strong for my babies. I wasn't much surprised that I had twins since I am a twin myself even though I'd lost my twin brother.

Baby Jason looks so much like his father. And he's got my silver-grey eyes. Nolan didn't know of them and he would never know as long as I didn't want him to. I was going to work hard and set myself up and then I was going to make everyone who had made my life miserable pay bitterly for their sins.

I was going to give them revenge to remember.