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MAX
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Colors KRISTEN
Well, this isn't how I pictured the night going.I woke up two hours earlier than usual today and went online to order quite a number of outfits. I was excited about the party and so was my mother who even offered to do my hair and makeup. Of course she was a little hesitant about helping me dress up as Emilia Clarke's character from Game Of Thrones but then shrugged it off when she realized this was probably my only chance at a 'normal' social life.But now that here, sitting alone with my legs in the balcony pool, I'm wondering if coming here was a mistake. I have barely interacted with my friends and I can't help but think that Max may be avoiding me. Or maybe I'm just imagining things, but what am I supposed to think when I'm at my best friend's birthday party but am surrounded by a bunch of teenagers I don't even know? "Well well well, if it isn't my little school buddy." A voice from behind me slurs.I turn around only to see Santiago. Well, this is a surprise, I didn't know Sa
Colors ASHLEY
Fuck intermittent fasting, I'm having some candy and a whole lot of alcohol. This party sucks and frankly so does Kristen. So this is what it feels like to be heartbroken? The pain I felt as I watched the girl I'm hopelessly and stupidly inlove with kissing someone else left me empty. It's still there because I can still picture it in my head, Santiago and Kristen touching, hugging, laughing and finally kissing. All my worst fears were realized when I saw them together in the pool, fully clothed as they made out in the water. I feel so broken and I just want that to go away, I don't care how. So here I am, sitting cross legged on the kitchen counter and stuffing myself with chips. I think there's weed in these but it's not doing anything for me. I need something stronger, something to make me forget about what will forever be known as the worst night of my life. And then suddenly my prayers are answered when I spot Liam talking to some shirtless guy. I don't know his name but I ha
Colors TATIANA
"The number you have dialed is not available, please try later"That's it, my brother is officially an asshole. I have been calling that son of a bitch for days now and he's still ignoring me.Well, fuck him. I'm done feeling bad for doing what I had to to survive. I'm sorry for leaving him in that shit hole but I had no choice since that poor excuse of our mother basically kicked me out.But to be fair I think kicking me out might just be the best thing Delores Monroe has ever done for me. Living with my mother and that asshole boyfriend was living nightmare.The physical and verbal abuse were not even the worst part of living with Marshall, it was inhumane behavior and Delores's refusal to acknowledge his cruelty towards us that always hurt me and unfortunately it destroyed my brother even more, sadly it still does."Tatiana," I snap out of my thoughts to look at Lukas."Oh hey Lukas." I try my best to smile at him. I like Lukas, he's good to my friend and Lord knows it's not easy t
Colors MCKAYLA
Fake it till you make it. It's something I always say to my friends and now I gotta practice what I preach. It won't be hard, for most of my life I have always believed that I'm a character, a nearly perfect girl.Effortlessly beautiful, smart, confident and of course a badass queen. And I managed to bring that character to life, morphing into her since I was a little girl.But as I stare at the mirror, looking back at my reflection, I see the me I was before I transformed into my true self. It's her, the disgusting dirty little girl, the person I despise most in the world.She's mocking me, laughing at the fact that one grave mistake, one drunken escapade fuelled with intense lust and anger has brought back all those ugly memories I have always managed to suppress.A lot of things went wrong on the night of my birthday and I have so many regrets. If I could take it all back I would, but I can't so there's no point in dwelling on the negative. This will just be another memory I will s
Colors MAX
We need 2 talk!!As I read the lastest message from Tatiana, all I can think is, she saw us! I had hoped that maybe she was too intoxicated or maybe it was too dark and that she didn't actually see anything.But from these hundreds of text messages she's been sending me since last night, I can tell that I'm not mistaken, she saw me with my tongue down her brother's throat last night.And now she wants us to talk about it. Given all these new messages on phone it seems like everyone wants to talk to me. Did Tatiana tell everyone about what she saw? Somehow I doubt it, Tatiana wouldn't do that but just to be sure I switch off my phone so that no one can get in touch with me.Besides my phone is distracting enough and I need to get ready for school!I look back at the girl in the mirror and I have to say I look great. Yes, I'm one of those girls who
Colors KRISTEN
.....the light is getting dimmer and dimmer but I don't mind because I'm finally embracing the darkness.....I have to say, poetry is my coping mechanism. Reading and writing it is not only a form of self expression for me, but it helps me deal with my anxiety and depression. And right now I can't stop writing and it's because I'm one minute away from having an anxiety attack.I have been the new girl at different schools for quite a number of times but I still can't get over first day nerves. You would think that due to all this constant moving and school changes, I would have mastered the art of being the new girl.But no, I still get nervous everytime which results in awkward first expressions which ultimately leads to not making any friends. Yep, I don't have a social life of any kind."You know, you could at least pretend to be excited about this new school." My mother says as she drives me t
Colors ASHLEY
I think my talent in this world is keeping secrets. I have even mastered keeping secrets from the people I'm closest to in the world, my three best friends, soon to be four.Yes I know a lot of things, like the fact that Max and Santiago have been hooking up behind everyone's back for a long time now or the fact that the sole reason why Tatiana wears makeup is to hide the occasional bruises 'accidentally' inflicted on her by her stepfather.Maybe the later isn't something I should keep a secret but it's a sensitive subject and I know Tatiana wouldn't appreciate me talking about it.But the biggest secret I have managed to keep to myself has to be about myself. It's something I have never been able to talk about with my parents, my friends or even myself.I have always been somewhat confused about my sexual preferences but I have never dared to entertain the fact that I might be anything other than straight, until now or rather until her.
Colors TATIANA
Whoever said life is a game but it's not fair wasn't kidding. Life is definitely unfair, it can keep knocking you down while continuously lifting up others. Unfortunately when it comes to life my situation is the former.With each passing day my resentment grows and grows. It's directed to everyone, my mother and her boyfriend, my friends and even myself. But especially towards my mother because she's the exact definition of a failure, as a woman and most definitely as a mother.And while my resentment towards my friends is unjustified, I can't help the unsettling envy I have towards them. They have everything I could ever want in life and sometimes I can't help but feel extremely jealous."Do you like your bracelet?" I'm sitting on Mckayla's bed as she organizes her closet. I always come here after school because going home is my least favorite time.I look down at the bracelet in question. It's platinum with silver trinkets, it's so cute and of co
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