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TATIANA
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Colors MCKAYLA
Fake it till you make it. It's something I always say to my friends and now I gotta practice what I preach. It won't be hard, for most of my life I have always believed that I'm a character, a nearly perfect girl.Effortlessly beautiful, smart, confident and of course a badass queen. And I managed to bring that character to life, morphing into her since I was a little girl.But as I stare at the mirror, looking back at my reflection, I see the me I was before I transformed into my true self. It's her, the disgusting dirty little girl, the person I despise most in the world.She's mocking me, laughing at the fact that one grave mistake, one drunken escapade fuelled with intense lust and anger has brought back all those ugly memories I have always managed to suppress.A lot of things went wrong on the night of my birthday and I have so many regrets. If I could take it all back I would, but I can't so there's no point in dwelling on the negative. This will just be another memory I will s
Colors MAX
We need 2 talk!!As I read the lastest message from Tatiana, all I can think is, she saw us! I had hoped that maybe she was too intoxicated or maybe it was too dark and that she didn't actually see anything.But from these hundreds of text messages she's been sending me since last night, I can tell that I'm not mistaken, she saw me with my tongue down her brother's throat last night.And now she wants us to talk about it. Given all these new messages on phone it seems like everyone wants to talk to me. Did Tatiana tell everyone about what she saw? Somehow I doubt it, Tatiana wouldn't do that but just to be sure I switch off my phone so that no one can get in touch with me.Besides my phone is distracting enough and I need to get ready for school!I look back at the girl in the mirror and I have to say I look great. Yes, I'm one of those girls who
Colors KRISTEN
.....the light is getting dimmer and dimmer but I don't mind because I'm finally embracing the darkness.....I have to say, poetry is my coping mechanism. Reading and writing it is not only a form of self expression for me, but it helps me deal with my anxiety and depression. And right now I can't stop writing and it's because I'm one minute away from having an anxiety attack.I have been the new girl at different schools for quite a number of times but I still can't get over first day nerves. You would think that due to all this constant moving and school changes, I would have mastered the art of being the new girl.But no, I still get nervous everytime which results in awkward first expressions which ultimately leads to not making any friends. Yep, I don't have a social life of any kind."You know, you could at least pretend to be excited about this new school." My mother says as she drives me t
Colors ASHLEY
I think my talent in this world is keeping secrets. I have even mastered keeping secrets from the people I'm closest to in the world, my three best friends, soon to be four.Yes I know a lot of things, like the fact that Max and Santiago have been hooking up behind everyone's back for a long time now or the fact that the sole reason why Tatiana wears makeup is to hide the occasional bruises 'accidentally' inflicted on her by her stepfather.Maybe the later isn't something I should keep a secret but it's a sensitive subject and I know Tatiana wouldn't appreciate me talking about it.But the biggest secret I have managed to keep to myself has to be about myself. It's something I have never been able to talk about with my parents, my friends or even myself.I have always been somewhat confused about my sexual preferences but I have never dared to entertain the fact that I might be anything other than straight, until now or rather until her.
Colors TATIANA
Whoever said life is a game but it's not fair wasn't kidding. Life is definitely unfair, it can keep knocking you down while continuously lifting up others. Unfortunately when it comes to life my situation is the former.With each passing day my resentment grows and grows. It's directed to everyone, my mother and her boyfriend, my friends and even myself. But especially towards my mother because she's the exact definition of a failure, as a woman and most definitely as a mother.And while my resentment towards my friends is unjustified, I can't help the unsettling envy I have towards them. They have everything I could ever want in life and sometimes I can't help but feel extremely jealous."Do you like your bracelet?" I'm sitting on Mckayla's bed as she organizes her closet. I always come here after school because going home is my least favorite time.I look down at the bracelet in question. It's platinum with silver trinkets, it's so cute and of co
Colors MCKAYLA
They call me the queen of all bitches and I own it. I am the queen alright, and I will take fear over friendly any day.But that being said, I do have friends and I'm fiercely protective of them. As the mature and intelligent one, I feel it's my job to look out for them.But despite being the smarter than everyone else, I don't know how to help my best Tatiana. I play no favourites but she's the one I'm closest to and that's including my little sister Max.Tatiana has a rough and unpleasant lifestyle compared to all of us and while that has never been a source of conflict between us, I suppose it can be overwhelming and frustrating to be surrounded by people who seem so out of touch with how the less privileged live their lives."As much as I'm enjoying this show of yours," Lukas, the only boy allowed in my bedroom, says from my bed where he's lying lazily with his shoes on my sheets! "You have been pacing for more than an hour now, why don't you just cal
Colors MAX
We all have our vices, bad habits we can't seem to kick off no matter how many times we vow to let go of them. For example, Ashley will never stop chewing on her nails nomatter how many times Mckayla threatens to throw her an intervention.Well mine is a little more complicated than that because my bad habit, the one I can't seem to shake off, is Santiago Monroe, twin brother to one of my best friends, Tatiana.Messing around with socially labelled 'bad boy' Santiago started out as nothing but a harmless game we both enjoyed but now it's become something so secretive that neither of us can define.Don't get me wrong, I love my boyfriend, he's everything to me. But somehow I always get caught up in Santiago, I can't help it, I have tried.Speaking of Santiago, he's looking effortlessly presentable while I struggle to make myself look as normal as possible.Maybe
Colors KRISTEN
I have always wanted to be part of a group, to have ever lasting, intimate friendships and now I have that and more.When Mckayla said she's throwing a slumber party for my initiation I thought she was just being metaphorical. I had no idea there was going to be an actual initiation.The five of us are seated on the carpeted floor of Mckayla's vast bedroom, surrounded by lit scented candles. We are all wearing matching red silk pajamas.My new red silk pajamas are a courtesy from Mckayla of course. I have a feeling she's the mastermind behind all but anyway, if I had known this was going to be fancy I would have done a little shopping of my own.In true style we are all brushing each other's hair, something Mckayla swears is therapeutic. We are also playing secrets and sins, a game the girls invented.It's a game which involves talking about, you guessed it, your deep
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