Whoever said life is a game but it's not fair wasn't kidding. Life is definitely unfair, it can keep knocking you down while continuously lifting up others. Unfortunately when it comes to life my situation is the former.
With each passing day my resentment grows and grows. It's directed to everyone, my mother and her boyfriend, my friends and even myself. But especially towards my mother because she's the exact definition of a failure, as a woman and most definitely as a mother.
And while my resentment towards my friends is unjustified, I can't help the unsettling envy I have towards them. They have everything I could ever want in life and sometimes I can't help but feel extremely jealous.
"Do you like your bracelet?" I'm sitting on Mckayla's bed as she organizes her closet. I always come here after school because going home is my least favorite time.
I look down at the bracelet in question. It's platinum with silver trinkets, it's so cute and of course I love it. I love everything that's she gets me. "It's nice, I love it." I say as I play with the piece of jewelry.
"If you love it so much, why aren't you wearing it?"
I toss the bracelet farther away from me on the bed. "Well, I can only wear so much of what you give me, I think I will save the bracelet for tomorrow." I know I'm being salty but I just can't help it.
"Okay," Mckayla sits next to me on her bed. "I have been tolerating this shitty behavior from you for days now, but I have had enough. What the hell is your problem?"
"I don't have a problem." I say in annoyance as I get off her bed. "Leave me alone." I want to leave. McKayla is starting to piss me off and with the mood I'm in, I might something I won't be able to take back.
"Bullshit, you have been acting like a bitch all day!" She practically yells. "I'm done putting up with it, it's irritating." She adds, rolling her eyes.
"Then leave me alone." I repeat, grabbing my bag. She's not the only one getting irritated.
"See? This is exactly what I mean. Did something happen at home, why won't you talk to me?"
"Because not everything is about you Mckayla!" I shout, finally giving her the reaction she's been practically begging for. "You are not the center of the universe and not everything that happens in my life has to do with you!" All my anger and frustration is finally pouring out and I can't seem to stop. I have been holding on to these feelings for far too long.
Mckayla just looks me, her face emotionless. "Calm down, you are just being unreasonable....."
"Unreasonable?" I know she has a point, I'm definitely fishing for a fight and the fact that she's not budging is pissing me off. "Unreasonable is you trying to understand me when we are clearly from two different worlds!"
"All this because I bought you a bracelet?"
"It's not about the bracelet?"
"Then what is it?" She shouts back, clearly starting to get annoyed with me. "You have never complained before and now all of a sudden buying you a bracelet is such a big deal."
Suddenly I feel like crying. It's everything she's saying and what she's not saying. For her it's not a big deal to buy me stuff, but to it is. I don't want to be my friend's charity case. I hate their pity and I also hate that there's no equal ground in our friendship. I can never afford to buy all those fancy stuff they buy and while it's not a problem for them, it's a huge problem for me.
"You are right," my voice is small and shaky as I say the words. "I'm making a big deal out of nothing." I start to leave. The last thing I want is to cry infront of Mckayla, not that my crying would repulse her or anything, but I think she's had enough of my drama for one day.
But ever the control freak, she tries to stop me. "Tatiana...."
"Leave me alone Mckayla." I say as I proceed to leave.
I have been in this house for so many times and since we used to play hide and seek here when we were kids, I have been in every room of this house. Well, almost every room because I have never been in Mckayla's dad's office.
I get momentarily distracted when I see the door to his office open and actually forget that I'm in the middle of storming out of this house.
Without thinking I walk into the home office, the one room Mckayla has never let me or any of our friends enter. I suppose it's more of her dad's rule than her own but I just want to check it out, for some reason I can't explain I'm oddly intrigued by this forbidden room.
Well, there's nothing special about it. It's just a normal home office, not that I have anything to compare it with. It's really clean and neat and tidy. I walk in further into the room, admiring the book shelves. I'm not s big fan of novels but I wouldn't mind having this many in my house just to look at.
As I continue to look around, my fingers trace the smooth wooden table and that's when I see it.
A couple of hundred dollar bills carelessly tossed on the fancy desk. I have never seen so much money just lying around, especially in my house.
This is probably why Max and Mckayla don't hesitate to throw money at everything, they have it lying around in every room.
They probably forgot about these bills, so they won't miss them, right? Wrong!
What the hell am I doing? I can't believe I'm even thinking about it. I'm not a thief and even if I was I couldn't steal from my best friend's family.
But it's not really stealing, it's more like borrowing and I probably need it way more than they do. And it's not like I'm going to take all of it, no I'm not greedy.
Before the voice of reason can intervene, I snatch a hundred dollar bill from the desk and quickly tuck it in my jean pocket.
There, I did it and it's not a big deal. It doesn't even look any different from before I took anything. I bet they won't notice the difference.
I should leave before someone sees me. I wouldn't know how to explain it, especially to Mckayla.
"May I help you?" A deep voice startles me so much that I almost jump.
I turn around and come face to face with Mckayla's dad. "Mr Hamilton?" My voice is shaking just like the rest of my body.
"May I help you?" He repeats his question, his icy blue eyes locked on mine. He looks so much like his daughter.
"Ummm......"
"Did you lose something Tatiana?"
He knows my name?
"You are one of my daughter's best friends," he says as he walks towards me. "Of course I know your name."
Oh, I said that out loud huh. He's so intimidating, probably where Mckayla's gets it from. And if you are wondering why Max is so different, it's because she isn't actually Mr Hamilton's biological daughter hence why she's Max Genesis and not Hamilton.
"You haven't answered me Tatiana." His voice is calm and he's awfully close to me now.
My heart is pounding. I want to get out of here before he somehow notices that I 'borrowed' some of his cash.
"I-I wanted to look around." I stammer. "I was just admiring the pictures." I point at the family pictures on his desk.
"Is that all you were doing?" He asks.
I swallow. "Yes." I answer him.
He looks at me for a moment and I start to wonder if maybe he suspects I'm lying. "Ok." He says.
"I should go." I start to leave but he grabs my hand before I can get far.
"I know you are my daughter's best friend but I will not tolerate you or anyone getting into my office without my permission." His tone is suddenly different, more like scary. "Do I make myself clear?" He tightens his grip on my hold.
I have only had few interactions with this man and I never actually realized how scary he could be, he truly is Mckayla's father. "Crystal clear." I say, desperate for him to get his hand off mine.
"Good, you can go now." He releases my hand and I don't waste any time,I leave quickly before he can find another reason to keep me here.
What the hell just happened?
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