“So, Hannah is coming over?”
I roll my eyes. The woman has never done anything to me, but I do not like her. It’s not because her and Z have some thing going on, it’s her. She doesn’t seem to have a personality. I have tried to hold a conversation with her, but if it isn’t about makeup or food, she has nothing to add to the conversation. She is the local music scene groupie and it gets on my last nerve.
“Okay.”
“Do you want me to tell her not to come?”
I wanted to tell him to tell her not to come. That isn’t fair of me. Why do I care? He isn’t mine. We are friends. A little voice in my head tells me that I should tell him to make some reason for her not to come, but I don’t. I don’t have that right.
“If you want her to come, let her come.”
Hell, she would show up anyways and say she is there to visit one of the other roommates. Any reason to be around Z. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was down the street. Sure enough, 5 minutes later Hannah bounces in the house.
I go to the kitchen to fix another drink.
“Hannah you want some punch?”
“Sure!”
Hannah never turns anything down. What has gotten into me? She has done nothing to us and even though I am being friendly the little voice in my head is being a total bitch. Time to throw back a few shots and get to having fun!
“Hey, let’s get this shit started!” I holler. All the hells yeah are thrown back at me. We all make our way into the living room where drums, guitars with their amps, and microphones are set up. The gamestation is hooked up to the tv so we could look up karaoke songs on the internet.
Sarah is the first to pick. When she picks a song I know I jump up with her.
“Whoop, go Ashton!” Z exclaims and I shoot him a grin. He knows how shy I am, especially around Sarah. She is beyond talented. It took me a few of these nights and plenty of drink to finally get comfortable enough to sing around everyone. He lived in a house that overflowed with musical talent. How was a girl not supposed to be intimidated?
Hours passed with everyone taking turns on the mics and various instruments. People wonder in and out of the house joining the fun or hanging in various parts of the house. It was 4 in the morning before everything started to die down. My phone suddenly dinged.
“You okay, Love?”
“I’m okay, just drunk”
He did this often privately checked on my mental state.
“You need to crash here?”
Wouldn’t be the first time I had to stay instead of driving the 25 minutes back to my place. I look up and spot Hannah hanging back. I can just feel she is waiting for me to go so she can claim a spot in Z’s bed. Oh hell no, my little voice screamed in my head. What the actual eff is that all about, since when have I cared who sleeps in Z bed. It’s not like the man was a virgin. No one ever sees him with a girlfriend, but the man had plenty of late-night company. Women would be all over him when we went out together. It never bothered me. I wasn’t in a place for that. I just wanted to hang with my friend and keep myself from spiraling.
“Is Hannah staying?”
“Think she wants to.”
“What do you want, Z?”
“You can both stay.”
“I can’t drive home like this.”
“Stay.”
A few minutes after I hit send I see Hannah head out the door with Z in tow. Curiosity got the best of me and I stepped over to the window. They were not on the porch like I expected, but it didn’t take long for me to spot them in the driveway by her car. She looked upset and I could tell by his body language he was trying to chill her out. That was Z. Always the cool head, always trying to calm people down and make sure no one was upset if he could help it.
I stood at the window watching. A part of me glad that she would be gone soon. Not that I could comprehend for the life of me why it mattered. I told myself it was because she wasn’t good for him. She had nothing to offer him, no personality and she was possessive over him when she had no right to be. Hannah didn’t know Zain. She knew the energetic party guy that everyone else knew. She didn’t know are care, as far as I could tell, about the gentle, kind man with a dark past he kept hidden away. She wasn’t worried about his mental wellbeing. She needed to go home and leave my friend alone. She was constantly showing up everywhere he was. Which meant everywhere I was because we do almost everything together. Really only spending time apart when we have work. Nights and weekends are ours. It never fails, within 30 minutes of him posting from our location she shows up. It almost always leads to her needing to talk to him in private. Dragging him off from our fun. Finally, her f
“Want another one?” The cute bartender asks me while holding up my empty bottle. I smile at her and nod and she bounces off to the bar for me. I like Sam. She is bubbly and sweet. Her dark hair is in two buns on the top of her head and her ever present spiked goggles sit on top of her head like a headband. She completes her look with tight red pants and a black T with fishnets sleeves. We got close when the band was still a thing. She was dating the then guitarist, so we spent a lot of time hanging out together.“So where is Zain?”“Oh, I am sure he will be here. He was pregaming at the house with everyone before coming. We are kind of doing our own thing tonight.”“Cool.”I prop my feet up in the empty stool next to me as I chat with her. These damn boots are sexy as hell, but so uncomfortable.“Tell me how you are really doing.”Sam doesn’t pry, but she has been a constant s
I sink lower into the warm bath. Letting the water and the music try to do their job to relax me. Work sucked today. Nothing crazy, I have just had enough for the day. The heat of the water turns my pale skin pink. My toes peek out over the bubbles and I inspect them for any chips in the dark polish. I am terrible about keeping up with them. Hell, half the time they are covered up so does it even matter.If I am being real with myself, I don’t have much care to give anything anymore really. When Ryan died the only emotion left inside of me was grief. Man, I did not know that that level of grief was even possible. I couldn’t eat and barley slept in the beginning. The first week the grief stole 15 lbs from me. My parents were worried sick. They were always hovering and checking on me. It meant a lot considering I could not seem to make any decisions about anything. We were never super close, but they stepped up and we grew closer. Dad was extra protective of me duri
“I um, thank you?”Z chuckles, “You are all wet.”“I uh, yeah…I was in the bath.”“I saw.”Oh my god I think I may just melt on this floor and die from embarrassment! What is wrong with me. I am a grown ass woman standing in front of my friend stuttering all over myself. The floor can just open up right now and swallow me whole.“I thought is was a safe picture, just my legs and my feet.” I say into the floor.Z tilts my chin up with his index finger.“Would you like to take it back?”“I, I don’t know. I…well…no. I just…I”Z shuts me up with another kiss. His lips drop to mine unexpectantly. This time it isn’t a soft peck. The pressure increases and his tongue licks my bottom lip asking for entrance. My lips part and his tongue finds the entrance it was seeking. His hands clutch my hips and he
He has some thoughts; this I must hear. What in the world does he think will help me get through all of this? I hope he doesn’t say therapy. I don’t want to talk about my feelings. What’s the point? I am sick of talking about my feelings. I am tired of hearing everyone telling me he is in a “better place” and it will get easier. Shit I know all of that. Doesn’t make it easy right now. There are no point in all these words when I know all of it and I also know there is nothing that can be said to make me feel better.“What did you have in mind?”“To be honest, I have not thought of how to present this to you. It was not a thought until you sent that picture.”“Come on Z, it was just my legs.”“Ashton your legs are sexy as hell and I wasn’t expecting it.”“I am sorry, I thought it was safe. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or step over any lines
What is that noise?! I peel my eyes open and take in my surroundings. I am still on the couch. Shit that is my alarm. I scramble for my phone to shut off the annoying noise coming from it. I must find a better sound to wake up to. I have not had time to find a new sound since getting this new phone.“Zain wake up we got to get moving. We are both going to be late for work if we don’t.”Zain mumbles something and stretches his arms above his head and cranes his neck to the side. The popping sound that accompanies the movement is loud.“Shit, you okay?”“Shut it, I am getting old.” He chuckles in response.“You make coffee while I shower and then you can have your turn.”I take off to the bedroom to take a quick shower. I strip while I wait for the water to heat up.“Shit I uh..”I spin around quickly at the sound of Zains voice.“Oh! I uh….what
Concentrating at work is proving difficult. My mind keeps wondering back to Z. Back to our kiss and back to my embarrassment over the photo. It’s going to be an incredibly long day. Lunch time comes and I decide to close my project for the day. There is no point to keep working on it when I’ve had to redo my work twice because I am unfocused. I save my work and close everything out. My phone dings as a message comes through. It’s Zain.“To make things fair, and for you to stop being embarrassed….”I wait, what is he…ding. Well now. A picture comes through. My checks flame and a heat ignites in my belly. His muscular chest and exquisite abs stare back at me. I can see water droplets sprinkled across his gorgeous dark skin. Making trails all the way down to that perfect V. That is where it stops. I shake my head at myself when I open the photo to full screen to see what else may be visible. I can admit to myself I am a little d
Heading home for the day. I did manage to get some work done, but barely. My mind kept wondering back to Z and the turn our text had taken. I catch the longest red light ever, so I grab my phone and shoot Zain a text.“Headed home. Any plans for the night?”“Not sure yet….I’m sure we will get into something”That’s how it was for us. We spent some part of almost everyday together. He kept my mind occupied and I kept him company. We have spent countless nights drinking and talking. Connecting well beyond the surface of things. What worries me the most is what happens if we take this a step further? What happens when it inevitably ends? Zain is a perpetual bachelor. Never staying in a relationship for more than a month. Our friendship means the world to me. Can I handle letting this be just a fling? Ding. A new text from Zain. I can’t help the small smile now planted on my face.” What are you doing?&rd