2

Nothing in the news. No leads. I closed the laptop with more force than intended. Probably out of frustration that we hadn’t come any closer to finding that sucker yet.

“What now?” She dared to ask me.

Why wouldn’t she leave me alone? “Nothing.” I spat back at her.

“Right.” She sighed.

What does she have to sigh about?

“We can’t afford a new laptop. So would you please stop beating it? Isn’t it enough you snap at me?”

She shouldn’t lecture me. After all, it was actually dad’s laptop, meaning it was mine now. “I snap at whoever I want,” I told her, then she could learn not to order me around. I leaned back, put my hands behind my neck, and closed my eyes. Now I couldn’t see that look full of blame she gave me.

“Jake, this has to stop. I know you’re grieving, but that doesn’t give you the right to break our stuff and snap at me like that. I’ve put up with your attitude long enough and the fact that you have used me as your personal punching bag for weeks.”

I opened my eyes and glared at her. “Shut up, Val.” She should really learn to keep her trap shut. Again, I closed my eyes.

“Jake!” I heard her getting up.

Why wouldn’t she just leave me alone?

“How dare you? I’m all you’ve got now. I know he’s gone, but this behavior doesn’t help at all! It doesn’t bring him back or make this any easier.” She had raised her voice now.

How dare she? How dare she remind me of that when I tried with everything I got to escape it? I slowly got up from the chair and stared at her. “How dare I?” I spoke slowly. She should be the one to talk. Involuntarily I clenched my jaw. “How dare I?” I repeated, but I was yelling now. Gradually I felt the rage consume me and taking over my body, leaving me out of control.

“Jake...” Her voice died.

I felt a kind of satisfaction seeing her like this. She knew she had crossed a line, and now I was going to fry her so she would never do it again. “Don’t you think I know he’s gone? Don’t you think I know about the laptop?” I growled at her, the fury boiled inside me. “Don’t you think I know you’re all I got?” I raised my voice. I was stuck with her. “And doesn’t make it easier for who? You?” Like she hadn’t had it easy since we took her in, she had nothing in the world to complain about, I had every reason. “You know nothing about how I feel.” If she knew, she wouldn’t have been so insensitive. Reminded me of it. Without me noticing, I had moved closer, and cornered her against the wall. I felt like punishing her but redirected my punch at the last second. “Nothing!” I felt my right fist hit the wall, next to her ear. It didn’t really hurt, and even if it had, I didn’t care about the physical pain right now.

Couldn’t she just give me a fucking break? Stupid bitch– my thoughts didn’t reach any further, they got interrupted by a fragile sound. It was like I froze, giving my mind some time to comprehend what I had just heard and my eyes time to see if my ears were deceiving me. They weren’t… I felt the overwhelming fury subside and something else taking over instead.

Was she scared of me? No, that couldn’t be… But why wouldn’t she look at me? My left hand found her chin and pulled her face up so I could look her in the eyes. “Are you scared of me?” The whispering words came over my lips before I had time to stop them. I wanted to know for sure, but somehow I don’t think I could cope with the fact that I had scared her like that. She’s so fucking tough, how the hell can I scare her?

She nodded.

Oh, shit… What the fuck have I done? I felt the fury fill me up once again, but this time, it was aimed at myself, but those big emerald green eyes stopped it before it could unfold. I would never hurt her, she’s all I got. Why wouldn’t the fear leave her– her beautiful eyes? “You don’t need to be scared of me. I would never hurt you.” That she was still scared was beyond my level of comprehension. To my relief I saw her shoulders relax in the corner of my eye, her big green eyes wouldn’t let mine leave hers.

Why haven’t I noticed how beautiful she is before now? That thought took away my nonexistent breath I hadn’t managed to catch yet. Though I felt like I couldn’t move my eyes away from hers, it was comforting to keep looking into them. It reassured me her fear was growing smaller.

I let my fingers stroke from her chin and up her jawline, her skin was so soft and placed it on her cheek. To comfort her, hoping the rest of the fear I traced in her eyes would go away. “Are you okay?” I had to ask, she seemed more relaxed, but she was still a little stiff, and she hadn’t caught her breath yet.

“I don’t know.” She exhaled, and I saw the last tension leave her body. Her eyes still seemed way too big, but what draw most of my attention were now her lips, I felt her breath on mine. Her beautiful full lips were perfect to bite in.

I moved closer to meet them in a kiss, but it was like her lips gave me a snap, like a whip. The warmth from my lips radiating throughout my entire body.

The longer I looked at her perfect shade of red hair, big green eyes, and soft lips the more I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to fuck her senseless and make her scream my name. A raw animalistic need overwhelmed me, and I pressed her against the wall with my body, capturing her, making sure she couldn’t escape me. Now I wanted to hold off the moment where our lips met, I wanted to take a good look at her perfect beauty before I buried myself in her.

I felt her hands on my back, stroking me gently. My whole body shivered from her angel light touch. Now I placed my right hand on her other cheek, I had to touch more of her. I wanted to feel all of her, everything, close to me. Her lips brushed gently against mine, but not as a kiss. Before she closed her eyes, I saw in them that she wanted to be taken. She wanted me to devour her.

Her teeth closed gently around my lower lip, I closed my eyes and felt another rush of the raw need pulsating through me. A need for her.

I closed the distance between our lips and kissed her. Her lips were softer than I had imagined. I wanted her so badly, and it was only amplified by the touch of her lips. Her body became limp, and I pressed harder against her to make sure she would continue to stand up. She moaned into the kiss, and the blood rushed to my groin I was pressing against her. My hand found her hair and pulled her lips away from mine and my mouth closed around the soft skin on her neck instead. A little cry of pain left her lips, I don’t know why, but that helpless little sound made me grab her hair more fiercely, and kiss her neck more insisting as I felt myself grow harder between her legs.

Her nails dug into my back, oh so she’s a fighter. She would bite back at me, making this so much more fun. Give me some counteraction. A moan from the back of my throat got muffled by her skin, and I bit her hard at the beginning of her neck. She was mine, I had marked my territory. She was mine, and I could take her and do whatever I wanted with her. Her body was like breathing again when you were close to drowning. She was mine, but it was more than that… I needed her, her touch and her body.

Though I knew I had inflicted pain on her, her body told me she liked it. She writhed and shivered against me, and I felt her hips rubbing against my groin. I grabbed her ass and lifted her up, she weighed less than I thought, and she wrapped her legs around my waist. Begging me to take her as my possession. I pressed her against the wall again, harder than I meant to I think as I heard her gasp like she lost her breath when her back hit the wall, but I didn’t care, I couldn’t concentrate on such bagatelles. The feeling of her body against mine was enough for my mind alone. I held her hair and her body as tight against mine as possible, it was like I couldn’t get her close enough. She was my lifebelt, and I had no intention of letting go of her.

I let my tongue take the lead against hers, bit her lip and walked over to the bed with her so I could bury myself in her. As I released her legs from around me and let her fall down on the mattress, she gave a surprised squeal. Before I crawled on top of her, I threw off my t-shirt. The view of her underneath me satisfied me more than I had thought it would, I liked seeing her underneath me.

I pulled the top over her head. Wanting to touch more of her. My arm locked around her waist and lifted her farther up the bed. As I rubbed against her I looked her in the eyes, I wanted to watch how I made her moan. Her skin was so soft. Her moans grew, and I kissed her to control her, silence her, but her moans kept coming.

I wanted more of her.

I bit her lip to break the kiss and sat up on my knees. “Take’em off,” I ordered her and looked at her jeans.

Her teeth dug into her lower lip as well and started to unbutton them. I saw the lusty look she sent me. She wanted me, but I just enjoyed the look of her following my order and exposing her body to me. I licked my lip as I looked down on her. Started with her face, flushed by exhilaration and big shiny eyes. Her hair a bit messy. Then the bite mark on her neck. I couldn’t wait to see what was hiding under her bra. Her stomach, I had actually forgotten her navel was pierced. I looked back up at her face, even more beautiful now. She wasn’t too skinny so her bones would hurt, and not too fat either so you couldn’t feel the bones at all, she was perfect. I noticed she slipped off her panties too along with her jeans, she was really keen. She had only pulled her jeans down to her thighs when I couldn’t wait any longer. Those jeans were coming off now. I grabbed the waistband and ripped them the last way off of her.

Quickly I loosened the belt and pulled off my own jeans and boxers before I laid down on her again, her hands were ready to grab my hair and shoulder in an instant. I grabbed her wrists and held her hands down on both sides of her head, and held her eyes in place with my gaze. Needing just a minute to compose myself. The skin on skin contact made a vicious need pulse through me. I felt like marking her again, but I wouldn’t scare her away. I don’t know why I felt the need to make marks on her or why I had to be this rough with her, I have never been like that before. All of this overwhelmed me.

When I was sure I had somehow control of myself again, my hands traveled down her body to her bra. What was hiding under there?

The need pulsed thick through my veins, my hands grabbed between the cups and abreacted on her bra instead. She lifted her eyebrow but then helped me get the rest off.

I took a good look at them, they looked really nice, round and full. Probably a C cup. It hit me that this was her only bra and now understood her look. “I’ll buy you a new one,” I said and sent her a dirty smile, before I kissed her again, in return her fingers intertwined in my hair and grabbed it. My hands explored her breasts, and I started to rub against her. A light cover of sweat was already laying on my body. She really fired something up in me.

I felt her hips push upwards, telling me she wanted me inside of her, and felt her hands back on my shoulder blades, her nails scraping over my skin. By a whim, I decided I was going to tease her, she was horny, and I liked that look on her, so I decided to prolong it. I stopped grinding against her and stopped kissing her.

She panted and looked expectantly up at me. One of my hands found her hip to hold her down, while the other grabbed her hair to hold her in place. I was the one in charge here, and she was going to get it hard. Moving my hips, I glided up and down to feel how wet she was, her mouth opened, but not a sound came from her lips.

God, she’s really wet.

“Jake…” Her voice sounded begging.

Mm, I like that tone, say my name, beg me to fuck you. “What?” I leaned closer and whispered knowingly against her lips. I knew exactly what I was doing to her, how I teased her.

She answered with an impatient cry, it almost sounded like a sob.

I hadn’t noticed the smirk on my lips until it widened. I put myself in position and waited, my hand back on her hip again, I wanted to see the look on her face when I entered her. And I wanted her to be unprepared. She tried to move underneath me, but I held her in place. I was in control of her and her pleasure. The wait was taking a toll on me as well, I wanted to be inside her, almost craved it. I flashed a dirty smile before I pushed myself deep into her.

Oh God, she was tight.

Her tightness around me made a grunt spill from my lips when I was deepest inside her. She exclaimed her gratification, oh that face. I wanted to see more of that. Inside her, I held myself still so she could get used to my size, and I could get used to her tightness and warmth.

Oh, it felt good just to hold still inside her.

I bit my lip as I watched her underneath me. Her gasping breath, fluttering eyelids, and how she struggled against my grip on her when she tried to writhe…

She had a hard time catching her breath when I pulled myself out of her and waited. When she least expected it I pushed into her again, and I felt her nails on my back, a grunt escaped me. I held still again and kissed her, she answered it full of lust, almost aggressively. Again, I pulled myself out of her and waited. Indulged in the feeling of her I bit her lower lip, harder than I intended because she cried out. I moved down to her neck so I wouldn’t get carried further away with my lust. Though that sound turned me on.

Her body was almost like an open book when it came to sex. Usually, I had a really hard time reading her, but not now, oddly.

Again, I knew I had inflicted pain on her, but her body still let me know she liked it. I would continue to kiss her captivating soft skin, but I wanted to be inside her again, and I wanted to see her face when I entered her again. Her tightness overwhelmed me when I pushed into her a third time with a grunt, and this time, I didn’t hold still but kept thrusting into her.

It was amazing. She was so tight and so wet. Her moans satisfied me. She didn’t fight against the grip I had on her, she gave me the control I needed, gave me control over her body. It was the perfect balance of her giving me some counter action, but in the end, let me be in control.

As I was thrusting harder into her, her cries grew higher. I removed my hand from her hip and put it over her mouth to muffle her. But continued to look at her, watched the pleasure I gave her. I grabbed her harder, I couldn’t get her close enough. My hand pulled out some of her hairs, and the one muffling her lustful cries pressed harder down.

For a moment, I was unsure if she liked my hard handling, but her nails dug deeper into my back, and she crossed her legs behind me to help me thrust harder into her. Her hips moved in cooperation with mine. One of her hands grabbed my hair at the back of my neck, and she yanked my head back. She kept her eyes on my neck and pushed up against my hand muffling her mouth. She wanted to return the favor, touch me and not just lie back and let me do everything.

I removed my hand from her mouth back to her hip and brought her to my neck while I still had a good grip in her hair. No way in hell, I was letting go of her.

She kissed and bit my neck, and the skin around my right ear, I couldn’t help but moan. Normally I didn’t like when women kissed me on the upper part of my neck and around my ear because of my scars. There were always questions following, but it didn’t matter with her, she knew and wouldn’t ask any questions. She just caressed the scars with her lips and tongue. It sent shivers down my spine, I was so sensitive there because of the lack of touch over the years, and I tightened my grip on her hair. She bit me harder than before which released another moan from me. It stung, but her soft lips caressed me. If she continued like this, I was gonna come and I didn’t want it to end already. I needed more of her, so I pulled her head away from my neck, stopped thrusting into her, and kissed her. Her hands in my hair and on my back provoked a shudder from me. On her lips were the salty taste of sweat, probably from both of us, my skin felt feverish and her forehead and chest glistened with sweat as well, which made her breasts look bigger because of the contours.

I was still deep inside of her but didn’t move so I could catch my breath and so could she. My lips continued down her chin and neck, I was gentle the places where I had made bruises. She tightened her grip on my hair, it actually hurt a bit. As I let my teeth run up and down her neck, she shuddered and exclaimed her exhilaration. I couldn’t help but bite her again, but I was conscious enough in my frenzy like lust that I bit above the other mark, I didn’t want to hurt her more than necessary by biting the same place. She gasped, gave a little whine, dug her nails into my back and moved underneath me.

It felt so unbelievable good I had to smile. I found her eyes and started moving inside her with a grunt.

Oh yes, she was so tight around me. I started at a slow pace but went faster for every thrust. Her moans grew into lustful cries, and I silenced her by putting my hand that had just controlled her hip around her throat and felt how she tightened around me. A surge of adrenaline ran through me when I dominated her like this, and I trusted harder into her. I don’t think she had tried it before as she looked uncomfortable and tried to remove my hand. But I kept holding on and shortly after she removed her hand, and just laid there and took it. When she started to really gasp, and I saw her eyelids flutter, I released my grip.

Oh shit! Her muscles convulsed around me, and I felt her shiver, her body stiffened and her legs closed around me with a force I thought were impossible for her size. She forced the air out of my lungs along with a groan, but I kept thrusting inside her, fought her writhing body, really rode the tightness of her orgasm.

After a minute, she relaxed, sunk into the mattress and went limp. Exhausted by her orgasm. She found my eyes and my mouth, and her legs around me again. I was close to coming. Was she still on the pill? Shit, I should’ve asked before we even started. I had to warn her. My lips moved away from hers, up to her ear. “I’m gonna come inside you.” I bit her earlobe when I had spoken the words.

“Yes, come inside me.” She pleaded in between her moans.

My lips locked onto hers again, but I quickly had to withdraw them in a raw, uncontrolled grunt as the orgasm rolled over me, I stiffened and came inside her. One last thrust and I had emptied myself with another grunt. My body felt torpid, and I rested some weight on her. I suppressed a small moan when I pulled out of her and moved farther down the bed and rested my head on her chest. I released my grip on her but kept my hand tangled into her hair.

She was panting just as much as I, and I could hear her heart racing. It slowly quieted down to a slower pace.

“I need you,” I whispered when her heart was beating steadily. I meant it, I needed her in this way, and I had to let her know. This couldn’t stop or be a one-time thing. It was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, and the tight grips around my insides had loosened. My fingers ran in circles down her side. Her skin was so soft, and it gave her goosebumps.

“I know.” She whispered back. Her fingers were playing with my hair and my mom’s old silver chain around my neck. It felt good.

“I need you too.” She continued, still whispering.

It made me smile. Not a false grimace as I had done since dad died, but a real genuine smile.

“What are you smiling at?” I could hear the smile in her voice too.

God, how long had it been since I had seen her smile? I can’t remember.

“A good fuck.” I grinned back. It was partially the reason. Though it hadn’t just been a good fuck, it had been awesome. The best in… I don’t know how long. There was something I couldn’t put my finger on that made this exceptional. One of a kind. She had an effect on me I could only have dreamed about.

I felt a light tap on my head. “You’re a jackass, Jake.” Her voice was light, and I could still hear the smile in her voice. Though she had said it in a fun tone, there was some truth behind it. I have been a jackass to her, and I have treated her like shit. It was like the demons slowly tightened their grip in my insides once again.

“I have been. Haven’t I?” I asked her. I wasn’t smiling anymore.

After several seconds, she still hadn’t answered, and I noticed she had stiffened slightly. She was right, I was a jackass. I have snapped at her, ignored her, verbally abused her, and taken her for granted, and she is all I got. I have nothing left but her. “You were right.” I just said, so she didn’t have to come up with some excuse on my behalf. She exhaled heavily, and I looked up at her. I wanted to tell her how sorry I was, but the words got stuck in my throat, so I just stroked her chin with a finger.

“I was?” Her voice was low and unsure.

I nodded slowly while I studied her face. Her emerald green eyes, her slightly ‘j’ shaped nose, round face, full lips that were reddish and plump from all the rough kisses. It was like I had never really looked at her before, never appreciated her before. She has just been there for several years. She was like family.

Her fingers caressed my forehead. “Don’t do that.” She whispered.

“Do what?” I asked her confusedly.

“Frown like that.”

I hadn’t noticed my thoughts had been projected onto my face and caused me to frown. She smiled tryingly back at me. But there was so much to frown upon.

She leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on my lips. When our lips met I felt the need and lust for her wash through me, I kissed her back more insisting and inhaled heavily. I dragged myself up on her again, lining my hips up with hers. I needed more of her and the effect she had on me. My left hand grabbed her thigh and led it up and around my waist.

Why hadn’t I discovered her before now?

She suddenly kissed me with a newfound energy that made me bite her lip, causing her to whimper. My teeth released her lip, and I looked down on her. That sound sparked something in me, I liked it, and it fueled my lust to a point where it was almost unbearable. I took a trembling breath through my clenched teeth. She wasn’t too girly or a crybaby, I hadn’t often heard that sound before, but I really liked it. Especially when I evoked it from her. It sounded so helplessly, and normally she was far from helpless. She had put me to the ground once where I sneaked up on her.

Both her hands grabbed my hair and pulled my lips down to hers. So she thought she had a say in this, and could tell me what to do?

I grabbed her wrists in return and yanked them up above her head. Placed both in one hand, her wrists were slender so they could easily fit in one of my hands. I looked challenging down at her. What was the little tomboy gonna do about the fact that I had trapped her?

She tried moving her wrists, but I just tightened my grip. The more she struggled, the tighter I held her. I was already getting a hard on just by watching her struggle for freedom. I had her now. She was mine.

She refused to give up and looked defiantly up at me. As I first thought, she was a fighter. She wouldn’t just lay down and completely accept she was under my control all the time, it satisfied me beyond anything. I broke our intense stare and reached for my jacket to get the handcuffs I had in my pocket. Then I proceeded to cuff her wrists one at the time and put the chain through one of the bars of the headboard. I tightened the cuffs, so there was no way she was getting out of them, not even with her tiny wrists, but still without really hurting her.

Now where my hands were free, I started to caress her and kissed her neck all the way up to her ear. Teasing her. I nipped at her earlobe and whispered into her ear, “Now I got you where I want.” My hands wandered down to her hips, I let them run in circles. Made it look like I was going easy on her, it worked, she closed her eyes to enjoy it. I grabbed her hips and flipped her, so she was now lying on her stomach and gave her a smack on her ass. She squealed in shock and pulled herself further up the bed by the handcuffs.

“Where do you think you’re going?” I pondered with a smirk.

There’s nowhere to run, baby.

I grabbed her hips and pulled her back down, she had rested on her elbows, but now her arms were stretched out. Then I spread her legs for me, laid on top of her and started to rub against her ass while I kissed her neck and shoulder. One of my hands slipped under her and grabbed her stomach, I lifted her up and put a pillow under her hips to rest on, this would give the perfect angle when I fucked her from behind.

My hands wandered up to her breasts and squeezed them, nipped them, and played with them. Higher moans came from her when I pinched her nipples. I was almost ready again. I exposed her neck to me by grabbing a fistful of hair and yanking her head back as my other hand continued to play with her breast. My teeth ran up and down her soft skin, and I felt her shiver underneath me. While I teased her neck with my teeth my other hand now ran down her body and then left it to guide myself into her, I waited at the entrance just like before.

“Just fuck me, Jake!” She cried out.

Oh yeah, you want it. “Oh, I will,” I whispered promising against the skin on her neck and pushed into her tightness with a grunt. She whimpered in pleasure and yanked in the handcuffs. I bit down into her neck, opposite side of the two other marks. The cuffs rattled louder against the head of the bed while she writhed underneath me. Her skin muffled my grunt when I pushed into her again as I was still biting into her neck.

Oh, this is good.

Another thrust and I let go of her neck, releasing my grunts, it would definitely leave a bruise on her. Again, I had marked her as mine. I muffled her lustful screams with the hand that wasn’t grabbing her hair but felt something wet on her cheek.

Shit, was that a tear? Did I go too far?

Quickly I pulled myself out, removed the pillow, and turned her around. It wasn’t my intention to hurt her. Or it was, but not this much. Not more than she could handle. I didn’t want to scare her away.

I hovered above her, in case she wanted to stop and didn’t want me on her. I wanted to ask if she was okay, but she beat me to it.

“I can take it.” She said. I saw the focus in her eyes, she meant it.

“You sure?” I whispered, but she nodded even before I had finished my question.

She knew me better than I had imagined. She knew that this was what I needed and that she was able to give it to me. I kept looking at her a few more seconds, in case she changed her mind. But then she wrapped her legs around my waist and dragged my hips to hers. I leaned down to kiss her, she eagerly leaned forward and met my lips, and I lowered my body down against hers where I started to rub against her. My right hand laid on her cheek while my left guided me into her once again. I moaned into the kiss, and she quickly joined me. The hand that had just laid on her cheek glided to the back of her neck and grabbed her hair instead. I needed to have a hold in her hair. When I gave her another thrust, she tore her lips from mine and moaned loudly.

Yes, moan for me.

At the next thrust, my hand grabbed the flesh on her thigh harder, so I could lift her an inch and thrust deeper into her. I felt the tickle from my abdomen, and I started to thrust harder into her. My breath became more panting than it already was. She cried out, tightened around me when I upped my tempo on her, pushing me closer to my release.

My body tensed up, and I held her tight as I came again with a groan. I rested my forehead against her chest as I caught my breath. My grip on her thigh loosened as my muscles relaxed, recovering from my climax. Exhausted, sweaty and shivering of pleasure I slowly untangled my hand from her hair, I felt a few strands of hair follow my hand, and I shook them off onto the floor. I lifted my forehead from her skin and pulled out of her with a small, but involuntary moan when she tightened one last time around me before I left her. A smile played on my lips when I opened my eyes and looked down on her. I sighed, she was a wonderful sight, she was wonderful, the sex was wonderful.

I kissed her gently. To let her know how much I actually appreciated her. I remembered the handcuffs and broke the kiss to release her hands one by one. After doing so, I took her wrists from above her head and kissed them both where the cuffs had left red marks. Then continued to kiss her neck where I too, had inflicted pain on her. Next, her breasts and at last her lower lip. She smiled back at me. She looked satisfied. I would have continued to fuck her over and over all night long, but I was drained now. But I wasn’t finished with her yet. I needed her presence, I needed to touch her and feel her body. Desperately I searched my mind for something, anything. Then it hit me. We could sit in the tub for a while.

“You need a bath. You stink.” I said and got up before she could slap me. It wasn’t true, she didn’t stink, she smelled amazing of sweat and sex, but I needed an excuse.

I turned on the water in the tub, adjusted the hot and cold water to the right temperature and walked back to the room a couple of minutes later. She was still lying on the bed where I had left her. I walked over and looked down at her and smiled. I had fucked her good.

Okay, it was more a smirk.

“What are you looking at, jackass?” She smiled.

Well, baby, I’m looking at my artwork. I had fucked her to orgasm and made her exhausted. It didn’t get any better than this. I lifted her up in my arms and carried her to the bathroom.

She didn’t even protest, though I was sure she was that kind of girl who didn’t like to be carried. Or maybe she was too tired. Well, both was a win, so I didn’t care.

I gently laid her down in the half full tub and then crawled in and sat behind her. Put my arms around her stomach and pulled her closer, making her lean against my chest. I wanted more of her, wanted her close to me and now where I was too drained to fuck her, this was just as good.

“Thanks.” She sighed, and I felt her lean back and relax against me.

“For what?” I kissed her cheek.

“Carrying me out here. I wasn’t sure if my legs could hold me.”

I chuckled. Jackpot. “I did fuck you good and thoroughly, didn’t I?” I couldn’t help myself from saying it out loud. I was proud of my effort and achievement.

“Mm.” She just said.

I felt… light, the heavy weight on my shoulders had lifted. She had made it almost disappear. And the claws inside me didn’t have a tight hold on my insides anymore. She was doing something to me.

I turned off the water when the tub was full. Found a sponge and began washing her neck very gently. She must be exhausted, and have some stinging, and that needed to be treated with care, to soothe it. I continued washing everything of her in my reach, and afterward carefully examined the three bruises on her neck.

I didn’t know what woke me. I laid still and stared at the ceiling, feeling the loneliness, the anger, and the grievance pounding in me. I didn’t even notice I was clenching my teeth until my jaw started to hurt.

Why did it have to come again already? Give me a break. I got angrier with it all, it pissed me off. The need to beat something flowed through me so sat up and hit the pillow before I let my hands cover my face.

Go away.

It felt so much more crushing after the little breath of free air I got with her last night. But she was asleep, away from me. I removed my hands from my face with an annoyed gesture to look at her. She had her back turned towards me, I could only see a mane of red hair, and her bare shoulders.

It was a shame to wake her, but it was taking a toll on me. It clawed inside of me, squeezed my insides, and I needed some of the freeness she had given me last night.

I picked up my blanket and pillow and laid down at the edge of her bed, slowly and quietly. I would hate to wake her, and what if she said I should go back to my own bed, the loneliness?

The darkness was heavy, but as I slowly laid down behind her, and inhaled her sweet smell it lightened up just a bit. I think it was her hair. It smelled like some sort of flower I think. She hadn’t moved or reacted to the fact that I had sneaked into her bed, so she was still asleep. I moved a little around to lie more comfortable, she still didn’t wake up. I moved closer, buried my nose in her hair and laid an arm around her waist under the covers. The heaviness on my chest lightened a little more.

What did she do to me? She was like a drug without the bad stuff, without the side effects, maybe more magical. I don’t know how she does it, and why haven’t she done it before?

She’s so beautiful.