1

Jake clapped the laptop shut with such a force, I jumped and almost dropped the book I was reading. It was about witches. “What now?” I asked in a tired tone. Jake had been so pissed off, angry, and distant since his dad’s death.

“Nothing.” He almost spat it at me.

“Right,” I sighed, “we can’t afford a new laptop. So would you please stop beating it? Isn’t it enough you snap at me?” I was growing real weary of his attitude lately. At first, I thought it was just a phase, but it just went on and on.

“I snap at whoever I want.” He leaned back, put his hands behind his neck and closed his eyes. Like if he couldn’t see me, I wasn’t there.

There was something about the tone and that gesture that pissed me off too. I have had enough now. For weeks I had been his mental doormat, and this was the last drop. I had to say something. I threw the book aside and sat at the edge of the bed. “Jake, this has to stop. I know you’re grieving, but that doesn’t give you the right to break our stuff and snap at me like that. I’ve put up with your attitude long enough, and the fact that you have used me as your personal punching bag for weeks.”

He opened his eyes and glared at me with his eyebrows pulled down, leaving his eyes in shadow, and made them appear darker. “Shut up, Val.” He barked and closed his eyes again.

“Jake!” I stood up. Enough was enough. I couldn’t take anymore. “How dare you? I’m all you’ve got now. I know he’s gone, but this behavior doesn’t help at all! It doesn’t bring him back or make this any easier.” Raising my voice with every word without noticing.

He stared at me with disbelieve. How dare I talk back to him? I could barely believe it myself. Slowly he got up from the chair, glaring at me.

I could see in his eyes that he was furious with me.

“How dare I?” He said the words slow, but threatening. I saw his jaw clenching. “How dare I?” He repeated, but now he was yelling, for every word he took a step forward.

I backed away three little steps. Maybe I shouldn’t have said it. I should have left him alone to grieve and be pissed at the world as I had done for the past several weeks. I didn’t felt the need to speak my mind anymore. Never had I seen him this furious before. His eyes were locked on me. “Jake...” I started, but every letter grew smaller in my mouth.

He was crushing me with his glance. Perfectly aware that he had the upper hand now. Again he took another step towards me. “Don’t you think I know he’s gone? Don’t you think I know about the laptop?” He had lowered his voice. It almost sounded like a growl as he kept taking steps towards me for every question he asked.

I kept backing up.

“Don't you think I know you’re all I’ve got?” Again his voice was raised. “And doesn’t make it easier for who? You?”

I felt the wall against my back. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t back away any further from him now. He took another step. Four feet between us.

“You know nothing about how I feel.” Now he was right in front of me. “Nothing!” He slammed his fist against the wall, right next to my left ear.

I involuntarily whimpered with my eyes squeezed shut as I flinched and unconsciously braced for a hit. He was scaring me, for the first time. When I opened my eyes again, I couldn’t meet his, but I felt his furious glare on me. My breath was uneven and shallow. In the corner of my eye, I saw his whole upper body panting with rage.

His fist was still on the wall next to my head. But then his left index finger and thumb captured my chin and gently pulled my face up, making me meet his eyes. “Are you scared of me?” He whispered with a hint of disbelieving in his voice, he looked confounded.

I barely nodded, I couldn’t bring myself up to say ‘yes.’ As the seconds passed, I saw his eyes grew milder, and I started to see a hint of hazel in them now that they weren’t hidden under his angry eyebrows.

“You don’t need to be scared of me. I would never hurt you.” He continued in the same low tone.

I felt my shoulders relax a little, but I was still too shocked to move. Never had he ever yelled at me like that before, never had his eyes been this dark with fury that was aimed directly at me. Staring into his eyes that held mine captive, I couldn’t find anything that said otherwise. He wasn’t lying, but there was still a trace of coldness lingering in them. I think he was looking to see if I believed him, and I did. As I swallowed it sounded too loud, my throat was dry after almost hyperventilating.

He hadn’t caught his breath either after the rage.

My shoulders loosened up. His stare was too intense after the rage, but the longer I looked, the gentler they became to my relief. The rage was almost gone, but not completely. It lingered over his features, but now that I looked closely I saw that it had been there since his dad’s death. I just didn’t notice it until now where I really got a look at him so closely.

Neither of us had moved since he raised my head to look at him, his left hand on my chin making sure I would continue to do so, and his right hand on the wall close to my ear, my hands against the wall along with my back.

Gently the back of his fingers swiped from my chin, up my jawline, and then laid his hand on my cheek. “Are you okay?” He asked in a gentle, almost caring voice.

“I don’t know,” I mumbled under my breath. I was somehow still stunned over his mercurial behavior.

His face came closer to mine, his eyes fleetingly flickered down to my lips, before they sought mine again. A shiver slithered down my spine when I felt his breath on my lips. Not because I was scared anymore, but because his face was so close I could almost taste him. I exhaled deeply and swallowed. Our eyes were still locked at one another, except when they wandered to our lips.

He leaned the last inch forward, making our lips touch briefly and I felt an electric shock run through me. I felt my face blush. His mouth was so close, and his eyes were even more intense now than earlier. It was impossible for him to come closer to me without our lips meeting completely, it was overwhelming. For what felt like minutes we just stood there without touching, apart from his hand still resting on my cheek.

Our breathing seemed to become more labored as time passed by, our eyes mostly seeking each other’s lips instead of our eyes now.

My heart thumped loudly against my ribcage as I felt that electric shock again every time I moved slightly forward making our lips brush against each other. I wanted to kiss him, but it was like something was holding us back, a barrier. All the years we had been living together like friends, like siblings?

It seemed like he couldn’t take it anymore and he pressed his body against mine and pinned me to the wall. A little almost inaudible moan escaped my mouth. Our lips still hadn’t met entirely yet. My hands found his back where I gently and slowly stroked from his shoulder blades and down to his lower back and up again. I felt his muscles under the gray t-shirt with the tips of my fingers.

He moved his right hand away from the wall and placed it on my other cheek, it was so warm. His lips brushed against mine once again, and I inhaled his sweet taste.

Finally, I closed my eyes and felt how my whole body got soft. All the anxiety was gone. His eyes, the warmth of his body had driven it away. I barely moved my teeth over his lower lip, gently captured it, causing a shiver to run through his body.

Then he fiercely kissed me. The sudden attack of my lips almost paralyzed me. He pressed my body harder against the wall, and I felt like I could barely breathe, the intensity of this, of him, was too much for me. I cried out of pleasure, but it got muffled by his tongue that now played passionately with mine. One of his hands glided from my cheek to the back of my neck and grabbed a fistful of my mahogany red hair and pulled my head back, away from his insisting lips and tongue, a little cry escaped me. It hurt, but it was wonderful at the same time.

His mouth began exploring my neck. In response, I dug my nails into his back. He moaned against my neck when he felt them, and in return, he sunk his teeth into the beginning of my neck right above my collarbone.

I took a sharp breath and exclaimed my pain. It hurt, but it was also amazing. This roughness, his roughness. It felt like he needed me. He took me the way he wanted me. We were closer than we had ever been before, not only physically. We had found a connection.

The second his teeth left my skin it burned, and eagerly his lips continued kissing my neck like he hadn’t just bitten me. I knew it would leave a mark, but my whole body was shivering with the bliss of his touch, he leveled his head and looked into my eyes. His body had to leave mine when he grabbed my ass with both of his hands and lifted me up like I weighed nothing, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. As soon I was where he wanted me, he slammed me against the wall with a grunt, pressing the air out of my lungs, and assaulted my mouth.

He was everywhere. His hips were rubbing hard against mine. I felt his strong body between my legs, the muscles on his back on my arms and in my hands, his insisting tongue against mine taking me, claiming me. I let out a load moan as he bit my lower lip.

A second later I felt my back leave the wall he was pinning me against, I didn’t know where he was taking me until he released my legs from around him and threw me on the bed. I gave a surprised yelp when my back bounced against the mattress but quickly recovered when Jakes desiring eyes locked with mine.

He threw off his t-shirt, revealing the snarling gray wolf tattoo on his upper left arm, the tattoo on the left side of his chest, four claws tearing his skin from the inside, along with his right pierced nipple. The t-shirt had barely hit the floor when he climbed on top of me. When his hands found the edge of my tank top, I lifted my arms, allowing him to rip it over my head and then tossed it aside. His strong right arm with a robe tattoo winding three times around his forearm grabbed around my waist and moved me farther up the bed, and his warm, muscular body started to rub against mine.

I felt the electricity again, tickling through me like it never had before, pushing moans through my parted lips.

His soft but demanding lips found mine to silence me. My moans kept coming, but his tongue muffled them. To break off the kiss he bit my lip once again and sat up on his knees. “Take’em off.” He ordered in a hoarse voice and looked at my black jeans.

I bit my lip in the sweet excitement it was to bare my body and felt how sore it was after the rough kisses and bites from him. His watchful gaze laid on me as I unbuttoned my jeans. When I began pulling them down along with my wet panties, his hands replaced mine and dragged them completely off me.

Luckily I had just shaved yesterday, fluttered through my mind, but I was quickly distracted. After tossing my jeans aside, he stood up, elegantly loosened the belt, took off his own jeans along with his boxers while he licked his lower lip as he let his eyes swipe down my body. From my face to my neck, his eyes lingered at the bite mark, then at my tribal dragon tattoo on the left side of my chest, stomach with the pierced navel, hips, thighs, and back up. A fire and water yin and yang decorated the outer side of his upper left thigh.

In a second, he was on top of me again. My hands found his shoulders, but he instantly grabbed my wrists and held them down on each side of my head. The desire in his eyes left me unable to resist. A couple of seconds that felt like an eternity, later he looked deciding at my bra instead and finally let my hands go. The firm touch of his hands ran from my throat over my collarbone and ended at my breasts covered by the fabric of my bra. Without warning, he grabbed the red fabric between the cups with both hands and ripped it apart with a grunt.

What the fuck? It took me a second to snap back and then I helped him get the rest of the torn bra off me. Well okay, if you really had to.

“I’ll buy you a new one.” He said with a dirty wry smile when he saw my look and sealed his lips to mine, his tongue dominating the kiss. With a firm grip he crudely caressed my breasts, involuntarily my back arched, pressing my breasts further into his grasp.

In return, I grabbed his hair as I felt him between my legs, rubbing against me. I was already feeling ridiculously wet. I wanted him inside me, now. My hands moved to his back instead, and I pushed my hips up to meet him.

All his movement ceased like I had pressed ‘pause.’ I had a hard time catching my breath when his lips left mine, and he stared down at me with his darkened eyes. Though now it wasn’t fury that darkened them, but lust. Leaving my breasts his hands moved down to my hip with firmness, the other traveled up my body and ended in my hair at the back of my neck and grabbed a good chunk really hard, making me unable to move my head. He began to move his hips but held mine in place with his one hand to control the movement. I felt him glide up and down my wetness, while he still looked down on me with that almost ferocious stare, my lips parted in silent moans of expectation.

I realized that he wanted to prolong the moment. “Jake…” I pleaded. My body boiled of anticipation.

“What?” He bowed down and whispered against my lips with his warm breath. Clearly, he knew what he was doing, it was evident from the smirk playing on his lips and gleamed in his eyes.

I replied with a small yelp of helplessness and impatience, and his smirk grew wider.

His hand on my hip left it for a moment to place himself just with the tip of his hardness resting at the entrance before it fell back on my hip. His eyes hadn’t left mine for a second, and I couldn’t look away even if I wanted to. The wait became more insufferable for every second, but the next move was up to him as I was pinned under his weight and my body locked by his grip.

I saw the dirty smile on his face, and before I knew it, he pushed his whole length deep into me with a grunt.

Oh God, he was big.

I hadn't expected it, which elicited a throaty cry, caused by the pleasure and slight pain he brought me when everything cringed together inside of me, and I felt my nails digging into his back, and my legs tensed up.

He held still deep inside me for a few moments, giving me time to get used to his size. As he waited, he bit his lip and watched me panting in short gasps while I was squirming as much as I could underneath him. When he pulled himself out of me, he again let the tip of him wait just outside the entrance.

Oh God, this was torture. I knew what was coming this time. I didn’t know what was best, the anticipation of it or him pushing deep inside me.

With a grunt of lust, I accompanied in a high pitch he hammered into me again, easier this time. He filled me out, long and hard, held still deep inside me, and kissed me fiercely. When he pulled himself out and waited, his teeth dug deep into my lower lip and didn’t let go until I cried out in agony. Ignoring my quiet whimper he simply moved down to kiss my neck eagerly.

I let my tongue run over my lower lip where he had bitten me, I tasted salt and iron; the taste of blood. He was so rough with me, but a part of me didn’t even care, the other part, though it was smaller, felt like running. But even though it hurt, it felt fantastic to let all this tension out that had been building up between us for weeks.

His lips left my neck, and we locked gazes as he slammed into me a third time with a guttural grunt. This time, he didn’t held still or pulled himself out to wait and let me recover, but kept thrusting into me over and over again. The hand that was first on my hip so I couldn’t move it was now on my mouth where he pressed harder and harder down on my mouth and bleeding lip to muffle my lustful moans. While thrusting in and out of me, he kept looking deep and hungrily into my eyes. My gaze didn’t shy away from his, but I unwillingly closed my eyes now and then when he pressed farther into me, making it almost hurt or hit a particular sweet spot. For every thrust, I felt him pull several hairs out of the back of my head.

I had trouble breathing, trouble getting enough oxygen to my panting breath with his hand covering my mouth like that. Though it wasn’t only the exertion that made me breathless, it was something about Jake, having his warm body so close, the new way he looked at me and his firm grip manipulating and working my body exactly the way he wanted. My nails were still pinned to his back, I wrapped my legs tighter around him and moved my hips in sync with his to help him thrust even harder and deeper into me.

The contrast between the opposite senses from every thrust rushed through my body, and I faintly heard the bed hit the wall for every time. I released one of my hands from his back and found the back of his head. My fingers grabbed as much as they could of his short blonde hair and ripped his head back, exposing his neck to me. He knew what I was trying to do, so he released my mouth, my moans, and brought my mouth to his neck while still holding on to a fistful of hair and thrusting into me without a stop. I kissed his neck, right under his ear. My lips and tongue felt the elevation caused by the scars on his skin. He tightened his grip in my hair and let out a deep moan in between the grunts that followed every thrust into me.

I bit him as well as he had bitten me. Though it wasn’t as hard, I was sure it wouldn’t leave a mark. He moaned again because of the stinging and satisfaction before he pulled my head back and stopped the thrusting and started to kiss me while he was still deep inside me. Sweat was running from my forehead, and I tasted his as well when I kissed him.

His body shuddered against mine, and he moaned into the kiss with me. I suspected he had stopped because he didn’t want to come inside me yet. Finally, we could both catch our breath.

He tore his lips from mine and kissed a trail down my chin to my neck. My hands were still grabbing his hair in desire. One hand continued to grab my hair like he wanted to make sure I couldn’t leave him or his body. When his lips reached the place where he had bitten me his greedy kisses turned gentle, it stung, but the soft touch felt good.

I felt his teeth run over my neck all the way up to my ear and back, and I gasped when I felt the electric shiver shooting through my veins. And he bit me again, just above the other bite mark. Not as hard this time, but hard enough to leave a bruise. I drew in a sharp breath as I felt the soreness spread on my skin.

He gave me a smile when his eyes found mine that turned into an exerted frown when he pulled out and pushed hard into me with a grunt, and continued in a slow rhythm that went faster for every thrust.

My moans grew into satisfied cries that filled the air accompanied by his throaty grunts. His free hand unexpectedly closed around my throat and silenced me.

For a second I slightly panicked and tried to remove his hand. But the way he looked at me made me remember his words from earlier. He wouldn’t hurt me. Not really. So I stopped resisting, my hand fell down on the mattress next to my head.

He wanted to give me gratification and take me the way he wanted. He wanted to have the power over me because he had no power over anything else in his life right now. I gave it to him, I surrendered, he needed me. I saw it in his eyes, his desire, not just his lust for a woman, but for me. Because I knew him and he didn’t have to hide anything from me, I knew everything.

The dizziness crept in on me, and my sight started to blur. I started gasping; I needed air. With my eyes, I begged him to let go.

He read the look on my face and let go, his hand grabbing my hip again instead. I gasped for air as I have never done before. I felt the dizziness, and the rush burn through my whole body, felt him thrusting in and out of me and felt the overwhelming orgasm hit me like a train, to my own surprise. My whole body stiffened as my hands grabbed whatever they could, I threw my head back, and my legs pressed all the air out of Jake. I heard him let out a strained groan. Never had I experienced this level of orgasm. On the other hand, no one had ever choked me before.

My head stopped spinning, my sight cleared, and my body felt weak. I found his eyes and his lips. He was still thrusting into me, and my hips were starting to feel sore. His lips left mine and moved down to my ear. “I’m gonna come inside you,” He panted and bit my earlobe.

“Yes, come inside me.” I almost begged as I liked the feeling of a man coming inside me.

He sealed his lips to mine, but tore them away after five thrusts and pressed his sweaty forehead against mine with closed eyes, as his body curved and tensed up when he came inside me with an animalistic groan. One last thrust and he had emptied himself inside me accompanied with another groan, and then he relaxed on top of me.

After pulling himself out of me, he scooted down so he could lay his head on my chest, his panting breath warmed and cooled my skin in turns. His hand now rested on my hip instead of grabbing it, and he opened his hand in my hair but didn’t untangle his fingers from it.

I looked at the gray dragon tattoo that adorned the whole right side of his back. It was engulfed in the gray flames spewing from its mouth. A couple of minutes had passed, our heated skin had cooled, and our breathing was slowly returning to normal.

“I need you,” Jake whispered after, I don't know how long. Still laid between my legs, resting his head on my chest. His hands had moved to my sides, and now his fingers caressed my skin lightly.

It warmed me from the inside out hearing those words. Most of his barricades had finally gone down. “I know,” I whispered to him while my fingers played with the byzantine silver chain around his neck and his blonde hair, messing up his semi faux hawk. While I said it, I knew I also needed him. Maybe not in the same way he needed me, but I still needed him. I couldn’t really explain it. Not even to myself, I just knew it deep inside me.

“I need you too,” I whispered and closed my eyes. I felt him smiling at me. He hadn’t really done that for weeks. “What are you smiling at?” One spread on my lips too. It was contagious.

“A good fuck.” He was grinning now.

What a beautiful sound. Hadn’t heard that in weeks either.

I smacked him lightly on the head. “You’re a jackass, Jake.” My voice halfheartedly tried to match the words.

“I have been. Haven’t I?” He wasn’t smiling anymore.

I didn’t know what to answer. Yeah, he had been, but not because he was a bad person. He was a good person, with problems and issues. We all had that. He was just going through a rough patch. He wasn’t like this when his dad was still alive. It was a shadow that had darkened his mind. It wasn’t his fault.

He felt my hesitation. “You were right,”

His words surprised me. I exhaled, I didn’t even notice that I had held my breath. He lifted his head to look at me and stroked my chin with one finger. Now his eyes weren’t angry, just concerned.

“I was?” I replied vaguely.

He nodded slowly, while still looking thoughtfully at me. It was like he had never really looked at me before. Like he actually saw me for the first time. I let my fingers caress his forehead, smoothed out his wrinkles caused by the frown. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?” He asked slightly confused.

“Frown like that.” I gave him a wry smile. It looked like he didn’t understand what I was saying. But I knew why. We had everything to frown upon. I lifted my head and leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on his lips.

He met me halfway and inhaled deeply as his lips got more insisting. His right hand laid on my cheek, and his fingers clutched around my neck under my ear. I felt him grab the sheets with his left hand. He had scooted down to lie and rest his head on my chest, but now he moved back up, leaving his hips against mine, and I could lean my head back on the pillow as his face was a little above in line with mine, he was over four inches taller than me. His lips never left mine. Instead, they got more aggressive. When he was in place, his left hand grabbed under my thigh to lift my leg up around his waist and started grinding his whole body against me, starting with a wave of his hips against mine that rippled up through his spine and upper body. The motion he made took me with him, I felt my skin grind against the sheets underneath me.

This seemed to work for us. The tension, the worries, the anger, questions. Apparently, this was his newly discovered way to handle it and let it all go. Release it and get a break from it, for the first time. This channel of energy was something we both needed.

Why hadn’t we done this before? Why didn’t we think of it? It hadn’t crossed my mind until he was looking at me that way. So close and so intense. Now I couldn’t unsee it, couldn’t unfeel it.

I laid all these thoughts, questions, and answers into our kiss.

When he felt my newfound energy and desire, his hands grabbed me harder and rubbed more intensely against me. He nipped in my lip, and I whimpered. It was still aching, even though it had stopped bleeding. His eyes found mine after he had let go, I saw his hazel eyes go dark with lust. There was something… savage about his eyes, his intake of breath through his clenched teeth trembled, he was looking at me like I was his prey. He wasn’t used to me whimpering, and it was clear it turned him on. His expression right now turned me on.

I grabbed his hair with both my hands and pushed him closer to me so I could kiss him again. But before our lips met, he grabbed my wrists and yanked them up over my head, took each of mine in one of his hands. I was trapped.

He looked at me, challenging with a ‘what will you do about it’–attitude. I tried moving my wrists, but he held me so tight. So I tried harder, used my whole upper body to yank my wrists out of his hand, but he just tightened its grip. I realized I couldn’t get them free, not even move them an inch.

The more I struggled, the more Jakes eyes filled with lust. He broke the intense stare to look for something. I followed his eyes. His hand reached down for something by the bed, when he pulled it back I saw it was his leather jacket that had been carelessly tossed next to the bed when we got back from work. Out of its pocket, he pulled a set of handcuffs.

I knew where this was going.

He put the steel around my right wrist first while still holding onto me. When it clicked in the lock, he released my wrist and tightened the cuff. Then he put the chain through the head of the bed and cuffed my left wrist. I felt the steel tighten.

After cuffing me up, his hands ran down my body, and he began kissing my neck, up to my ear. He nipped at my earlobe and whispered into my ear, “Now I got you where I want.”

I couldn’t argue with that.

He sat up on his knees and gave me a gloating look. His hands lightly caressed my hips slowly, teasing me as his fingers slowly headed between my legs. Closing my eyes I enjoyed the feeling of his fingertips caressing my skin more softly, but it turned out it was the wrong thing to do. As soon as I closed my eyes, he grabbed my hips so hard that I gasped, flipped me to my stomach and gave me a smack on my ass that made me squeal in shock. I pulled myself further up the bed by the handcuffs to escape, now resting on my elbows. The chain of the cuff was now twisted, and I felt how it tightened around my wrists. His attack had taken me completely by surprise.

“Where do you think you’re going?” He asked, maybe more to himself, but he was clearly amused at my expense. With a firm grip on my hips, he jerked me back down, my arms straightened out, the cuffs tightened around my wrists once again. After that, he grabbed my thighs and spread my legs. I felt his weight as he leaned over me. His hands firmly caressed my sides as he rubbed himself against my ass while kissing my neck and shoulder. My body started squirming, following his motions, pushing my ass back and ground against him.

One of his hands slipped under me, grabbed around my stomach and easily lifted me up to put a pillow under me for my hips to rest on.

Thank God, they were sore.

His hands found their way up to my breasts where he forcefully started massaging them and he made me moan out loud when he pinched my nipples between his thumb and index finger. While he played with them, nipping, squeezing, I felt his length grow harder against my ass. His right hand left my breast, traveled up my side and up my spine until it ended in my hair where he grabbed a fistful and yanked my head back, giving him full access to my neck. Again, he seemed to tease me by letting his teeth run up and down my skin. I knew the bite would come, which sent a shiver through my whole body, the anticipation was unbearable.

The left hand grabbing my breast traced down to my stomach, around my hip, over my ass. His hand left my body to guide himself into me. I again felt the tip of him resting just outside.

I couldn't take the teasing any longer. “Just fuck me, Jake.” I cried out loud and squirmed underneath him.

“Oh, I will.” He whispered almost like a threat to me against the skin of my neck and then pushed himself into me.

I whimpered with pleasure as I felt the delightful soreness between my legs. But I only got to enjoy it shortly as he bit me in the neck at the next second, his groan was muffled by my skin. Luckily, this was on the other side of the other bite marks. The cuffs rattled as I yanked in them, trying to move my body from the immense feeling of two opposites, but I couldn’t move away from him. He had me, his teeth in my neck, his hand in my hair, the other had an iron grip on my breast. Still biting my neck, he pushed into me once again, releasing another whimper from me. I felt his teeth sink a little deeper into my flesh when he pushed into me a third time with a strained groan, a tear left my eye as I yelped. It hurt like hell, but I liked it to my own surprise, probably only because it was him doing it to me.

As he let go of my neck, I felt the blood pounding under my skin and it stung painfully. He moved his hand from my breast to my mouth and muffled my cries while he was thrusting hard into me. I think he felt the tear when he held his hand over my mouth, because he pulled himself out of me, pushed the pillow aside, and turned me around. He leaned over me, but he was hovering his body above mine this time resting his weight on his knees, and his hands on each side of my head. Looking deep into my eyes, I think was to see if I was okay as his eyes seemed to be filled with concern.

“I can take it,” I told him when he was about to open his mouth to say something. I didn’t want him to stop.

“You sure?” He whispered.

I nodded even before he finished speaking. He looked at me a few more seconds. Looking for something that said different and he didn’t find it.

I wrapped my legs around his waist to drag him down to me, but my legs could only control his hips. He leaned down to kiss me, and I met him halfway. When our lips sealed together he lowered the rest of his body down to mine, his right hand laid on my cheek, his fingers wrapped around my neck, and rubbed his body against mine. His left hand guided him into me and then returned to my thigh before he filled me once again with a moan against my lips, and I moaned into the kiss with him. But when he started thrusting into me, I tore my lips from his as I couldn’t hold back the moans.

Now that he knew I was all right, he didn’t hold back on me at all. His right hand grabbed my hair instead of my cheek. He seemed always to want to have a tight grip on me there. I felt his fingers in my skin when he grabbed the flesh harder on my thigh, moving my hip with every thrust, making him fill me deeper and deeper.

After a few minutes, he picked up a new pace, his breath coming out in short bursts through his clenched teeth the closer he came to his second climax. He was thrusting so hard into me I loudly cried out in satisfaction. His body tensed as he gave me two last hard thrusts and emptied himself inside me again with a drawn out groan and held my body tightly to his. I felt shivers running through his body as well as my own.

His muscles relaxed, loosened his grasp on me, besides my hair, and rested his sweaty forehead on my chest, I felt his panting breath on my skin. He finally let go of my hair, and I saw a few loose hairs fell from his hand. Without opening his eyes, he lifted his head slightly and pulled out of me with a little, satisfied moan. A smile pulled up in the corner of his mouth when he opened his eyes and looked at me, he sighed exhausted, and then kissed me. Gently and slowly. He broke the kiss to open the cuffs like he suddenly remembered them.

A searing feeling replaced the cuffs when he removed them, though I was too tired to move them from above my head. He took my hands one by one and kissed all the way around my wrists where they had left a red mark. Then he kissed my bruised neck, my breasts, and at last my hurting lower lip.

I couldn’t help but smile. Never had my body been so beaten with my free will, never had I enjoyed it so much. There wasn’t an inch of my body that wasn’t aching, neither were there an inch that hadn’t enjoyed all of it.

“You need a bath. You stink.” Jake got up before I could slap him. His playful tone and mischievous smile made me laugh. I hadn’t done that for a long time.

He walked into the bathroom, and I heard him filling the tub. When he was gone, I really felt my body aching. I wanted to get up, but I wasn’t sure if my legs could support my weight. So I just laid there, my body felt like jelly. After a moment, I tried to gather my strength to get up and join him, but I couldn’t get my body to listen.

A few minutes later he came back, stopped at the bedside and looked down at me with a smirk.

“What are you looking at, jackass?” I tried daring him, but my voice was too tired and my face shined with bliss.

He looked at me for a few more seconds before he scooped me off the bed and into his arms. I didn’t even have the energy to give a squeal of surprise or protest. He carried me to the bathroom and gently laid me down in the tub before he crawled in and sat behind me. The tub was close to half full. His arms laid around my stomach and pulled me close to him, and I could lean my back against his chest. I leaned my head back to rest on his shoulder as well. “Thanks.” I sighed. The hot water felt good.

“For what?” He kissed my cheek.

“Carrying me out here. I wasn’t sure if my legs could hold me.”

He chuckled, “I did fuck you good and thoroughly, didn’t I?” He sounded satisfied with his own work. Too satisfied in my opinion.

“Mm,” I mumbled with a smile and closed my eyes. The soap from the hot water still filling the tub smelled like flowers and some sort of spice. Musk, perhaps.

I couldn’t believe Jake was so relaxed after all those weeks of tension and anger. Was this really all it took? If I had known that, I would have done this a long time ago. But it hadn’t crossed my mind. It wasn’t until that moment he looked at me, so furious and intense I realized it, and for the first time really wanted to.

Jake turned off the water, as the tub was full now. He grabbed a sponge, wetted it in the hot water, and started to wash my neck very carefully, like I was something that would break if he pushed too hard. He had never been this gentle with me.

It was weird. New, but okay. It stung like hell, but the hot water relieved the pain.

His other arm left my stomach to examine my neck, the piercing in my navel jingled when his arm passed it. He had treated a lot of my wounds before, but never this tenderly. He had always just cleaned it, stitched it if it was needed, and put a Band-Aid on, and teased me by calling me a baby if I made just the tiniest face of him.

This was different. We were different. How could it all be so different so fast?

“Promise me you won’t be afraid of me again.” He said in a hoarse voice after washing both sides of my neck.

It surprised me. I hadn’t seen that one coming. Actually, there was a lot I hadn’t seen coming today. It felt like so long ago since I was standing there with my back against the wall and was afraid of him. And I didn’t scare easy. It was something in his eyes I think. “Okay.” I didn’t know what else to say, and I didn’t want to hesitate this time.

“I mean it.” A little of the Angry Jake shined through in his voice. I felt his hands get rougher with the sponge over my shoulders.

It must have really affected him, but it was also kind of the reason why we were sitting here right now, and not at each end of the motel room, staring in different directions and not talking. Or at least I thought that, I didn’t know. But I know it had affected him, maybe in ways I couldn’t understand. “I know,” I replied, and he seemed to relax. “I can wash myself, you know.” In some way, it was ridiculous he was taking care of me like this. We had each other’s back out on the job, on the hunt. We could take care of ourselves…

Or maybe not in all ways. A little voice whispered in my head. I ignored it.

“I know, but this is different.”

Different. He said it himself.

“Why does it have to be?” I didn’t know why I asked the question, it just came out.

“Because I need you.”

There it was again, those three words. I haven’t thought about them before, but now they were screaming in my head. I didn’t know if that was a good or a bad thing. I just nodded as an acknowledgment to him. He started wetting my hair with the sponge, my mahogany red hair turned darker from the water. It prickled at the back of my head where he had pulled out so many of my hairs.

“Lean back.”

I did as he said and leaned my head back down on his shoulder. I heard him open a bottle and looked up. He had poured shampoo into his hand.

“What are you doing?” I asked skeptically.

“What does it look like?” He chuckled, maybe a little baffled over my skepticism.

His intention to wash my hair was clear, the gesture made me leery anyway, “Why?” I had sat up just enough to be able to turn around and look him in the eyes.

He raised his eyebrows at me. “Jesus. Relax, Val. I’m not gonna do it if you’re really that uncomfortable with it.” Angry Jake was to trace in his voice.

I eased up a little. “I just wanted to know why, that’s all,” I said in the least skeptical tone I could manage, and slowly leaned back against him again.

Angry Jake could stay away for a while. If all it took was to wash my hair, then fine by me. This new thing was like coming up for air. Like breathing again after a broken rib healed after so many weeks. This New Jake was to prefer over the angry one.

He accepted my surrender and started to wash my hair. His fingers massaged my scalp. It actually felt good after a couple of minutes. At the back of my head, he was very gentle, he barely touched me. Again afraid if I might break, but I wouldn’t. I had experienced worse things than a little rough sex.

A little?

The little voice in my head said.

Okay, fine, rough, aggressive sex then.

But it was true. No man had ever taken me that hard or that way before or choked me before. And that electricity I had felt was something new too. Maybe it was just the fear.

He took the shower head, placed a finger on my forehead and pushed my head farther back so I wouldn’t get anything in my eyes and washed the shampoo out of my hair.

Before Angry Jake, we used to be like best friends, or maybe more like family. You don’t really have that much family with this job. We weren’t like a boy and a girl, we were just equals. I had mostly been treated like one of the boys, except when Bill, his dad, insisted on some minor things, mostly out of respect, and excused it as ‘female privacy.’ But back then, Jake was just... Jake... No Angry, Sexy, New or whatever. It was just easy. But since that night Bill died, I had only seen Angry Jake. Until now, and to be honest, this 180-degree turn freaked me out. I didn’t know what to think of it and didn’t know how long it would last.

“It needs conditioner too,” I said in an unemotional voice. I didn’t know what to expect. The longer this lasted, the more... maybe not nervous… anxious I got. Another bottle got opened and soon I felt his fingers in my hair again.

I couldn’t stop feeling like this was some sort of thanks for pulling him momentarily out of that big dark hole. Not that he was completely out of it. I couldn’t believe that. It was impossible.

After massaging every inch of my scalp, he grabbed the shower head again and did the same as when he washed out the shampoo.

This was actually quite relaxing. I wish we had done this before, but I also knew why we hadn’t.

The water was getting colder. I didn’t know how long we sat there. His arms back around my stomach, and I rested my back against his chest. Not talking, just closed eyes and relaxed. It could easily have been an hour.

My fingers traced over the rope tattoo on his right forearm. Inside the rope, there was a text. ‘Don’t let your fears control you’ it said. I remember once asking him about his tattoos, and he responded that he just thought they looked cool, but he helped design them. He was amazing with a pencil.

I got my dragon tattoo after my mom died. She had always been fascinated with dragons. It was kind of childish as she was a grown woman, but somehow that fascination didn’t stop.

“I think we should get up now.” I finally stated.

“Are you cold?” He asked.

I don’t think I had ever had him talking to me so caringly. On the other hand, he had never beaten the crap out of me and fucked me so hard my head was spinning, but he had today. And I had never been scared of him, before today. With all these thoughts, I just nodded.

We got up, he pulled the plug, put the shower head back and turned on the water so we could wash the soap off of our bodies. He let me go first.

After that, I went for some towels. One for him and two for me. I wrapped my hair up in the towel as a turban around my head. Before I moved on to drying my body, I made the mistake of looking in the mirror. Emerald green eyes looked back at those marks Jake had made on me. It wasn’t like I hadn’t seen my body injured before. I had often had cuts, and bruises, and stuff covering my body, and scars. A lot of scars. My left arm and shoulder were like a mosaic of scars after I went through a window during a fight a couple of years back. It had been summer, meaning I hadn’t worn my leather jacket, which would probably have taken most of the glass instead of my skin if I actually had worn it. It took Bill and Jake hours to get all the pieces of glass out. They were in my scalp too, but my hair covered those scars.

But these bruises were different. There it was again. Different.

My fingers with the cracked black nail polish touched the bite marks on the site of my neck where he had bitten me two times, it was swollen. At the beginning of my neck, right over my collarbone, there were his teeth marks. It was red. No, more like bluish-reddish-purplish. Right above where he had bitten me again, I could see the bluish bruise come forward. It wasn’t as pronounced. I looked on the other side of my neck, it looked exactly like the first bite mark he gave me, only on this one you could definitely see the skin was torn several places. It was there he had hooked himself onto me while he had been thrusting so hard into me, my hands cuffed to the bed.

I felt a ticklish feeling from the inside of my lower abdomen when I thought back to the feeling of him inside me. I lost my breath for a second. This was new too. I looked in the mirror again, I had been so busy looking at the bite marks, that I hadn’t noticed my red and swollen lower lip. I had felt the blood pounding in it, and I could feel it was swollen, but it looked so much worse than it felt. I lifted one of my fingers to look closer. Luckily, he had bitten through the skin on the inside of my mouth. Wounds inside the mouth healed faster. My finger pulled down my lower lip, and there, on the inside of my lip was the big bluish-red wound. Jake was still in the shower, so he didn’t see my little exploration in the mirror.

We both dried our bodies in silence in the too cheap motel towels. Comfortable silence it felt like. Though we had been so silent in the last couple of weeks, so perhaps I couldn’t tell the difference anymore.

When I walked through the door into the room Jake smacked my ass. Not as hard as earlier, but I still gave a surprised whine. There had been a lot of those today.

I sat down on the bed, took my backpack, and found a pair of clean panties and a top. Thanks to Jake, I didn’t have a bra anymore. I looked over at his bed with the untidy sheets and saw the red fabric halfway under it. I smiled again. My muscles in my cheeks felt inflexible because of the lack of smiles and what they had been exposed to today.

When he walked over to me after putting on some clean boxers, I turned to face him. He looked down at me. Clearly, he wasn’t back to his old self, but he wasn’t as hostile as before we had sex. His fingertips stroked my cheek, leaned forward, and kissed me for a few seconds without tongue. When our lips separated, his eyes found mine. I saw more of his hazel eyes than of the dark shadows lingering in them.

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” I answered, and looked down to camouflage I had bit my lip. We laid down in each of our beds. A bedside table separating us. I turned off the bedside lamp. I didn’t feel like reading tonight. I needed to clear my head, but all I could think of, was his body against mine, pinning me to the wall. Dark eyes, bites, grabbing hair, him inside me…