I took a taxi and wrote down an address then gave it to the driver.. I couldn't even describe how I felt..Mom?She was a mom to a child my age and she didn't even think about mentioning that to me? Why didn't she tell me."we are here ma'am..." the guy who's been driving said. I thanked him and got out. The wind started to blow as I took in the familiar surroundings.God, I used to come here like crazy and then Shit happened and I didn't fucken know what to do.I walked the stairs in the the flats as images of us played in my head.. one specific where we had just been in a fight coz I was called a dyke in the street.. And she protected me.I reached her door and then asked myself what the hell was I doing here. Should I knock and go in or should I just leave and go home. I mean me rocking up here like this after everything that's been happening without her in my life is just...Oh God.. I needed her.. because to

We landed in New York the following day and we only had three hours to the shoot."Look, my house is close to the studio, why don't we go freshen up and then head there..." Susan suggested and I battled with my emotions whether to do that or not. I mean it was really reasonable considering I'd meet with traffic when I go to my apartment and then come back to the studio.I sighed in defeat, "yeah... that sounds like a plan....""Unless you wanna rest... I'll tell Steph that you....""No no no...." I stopped her the moment I saw where this was going, I didn't want to sit at home and do nothing, coz then I'd go crazy thinking about Katherine and I.. "I'm good.. I want to work.. we can do this..."She smiled as she opened the taxi for me, "is you ready with your script?""yea.. while you were busy dreaming in the plane I was busy with my scripts.. I hope you won't set me back..." I said truthfully. Since I couldn't sleep the entire 16 hour

She woke me up around 4am and told me to go get ready. I was sleepy as fuck because we hardly slept."Why so early?" I asked in a raspy voice and she yawned,"I have to be at the studio before 6, so I'm trying to take you home because your call time is 11... I can't take you there this early you need to go get some sleep and read your lines.""Oh God, well, you kept me up.... What time is it?""It's before 4... And I thought you are the one who kept me up..."I laughed, "Jesus no Steph, I was keeping up with you..."Then I thought, what is it with old women and their stamina, like, was their sex drive that high.. but I didn't say that out loud.Surprisingly she climbed on top of me still all naked, "Well you kept up alright...""Steph get off me..." I saidShe giggled and laid her whole body on mine, I was very surprised last night when I realized that we are almost the same height.Her right hand held my left le

I woke up to a throbbing headache and I was sweating like hell. I reached under my pillow for my phone and realized the time was 3am."Flip!" I said getting up into a sitting position.A good dream is what I needed after the emotions I went to bed on last night. But getting married to Katherine Omarley was more like a nightmare, and how happy I was in my dream was more terrifying.I mean don't get me wrong, you didn't need a PhD nor to be a rocket scientist to know that I loved and still love Kat with my whole heart, but to get married to her in a dream and be so happy about it while in reality I was trying to stay away from her is just....scary.I know it was too early but I knew I'd never be able to sleep, so I got up and hit the shower. After fixing my bed it was going to four, I still had an hour till my transport arrived.Ohh did I tell you that Steph hired me a driver since I didn't want to buy a car. She told me it was less risky, and

That day started with sex and later again sex.. Great, now I was fucked. I mean besides being literally fucked, I was stuck in a situation I had no idea how to get off.I mean Steph... I liked her and that was it. I just liked her, her talking about loving me was just fucking me up. I hated turning someone I like down. And right now I was giving her false hope by letting my body take over.Just then I thought about Kat, about how simple things were with her around. How I still loved her even though the thought of her broke my heart into a million pieces.I mean I was asking myself why she suddenly wanted to talk, but at the same time I didn't wanna know. I wanted her to care..to care the way that I did.. still do. She was indecisive and I didn't want to hurt me like that again. I wasn't ready to cry for a month again."You are awfully quiet..." Steph said behind me and I shrugged then lied, "just thinking about the work I missed today."She k