I must’ve gone back to sleep at some point in the car ride through the city because I wake up, completely disorientated, in a very familiar bed; Sarah’s loud snoring and body next to me. I sit up, warily, as the spinning nausea and headache of the world’s worst hangover hits me, and I push down the urge to throw up.The room is dark and quiet but that doesn’t mean much. Jake has blackout shades on all his windows, blocking out the sun whenever he wants to sleep. I scramble around under the sheets, catching the smell of him from the cushions under my head, and it instantly overwhelms with me with a mix of longing, pain, and upset.I still don’t know how to feel. Great.I slide out and carefully tread my way to the bedroom door, not wanting to wake Sarah or anyone else; especially when I’ve no idea what time it is. I open the door slightly and hear muffled voices coming from the kitchen, followed by a sudden rush of bri

I stand in the shower for an unbelievably long time, the hot water pouring down me, refreshingly, helps to push the nausea down. I’m aching at everything so familiar about being here, so many memories and thoughts of Jake beside me. I feel like I’ve woken inside a dream, some strange alternate reality where I never left, and this feels like where I should be. It’s disconcerting and doesn’t help my emotionally confused state of mind at all.Fully cleansed of my shameful drunken night and drying myself I can hear noise in the apartment. The sound of music drifting though the walls and I know Jake must be back. I pause for a moment listening to the faint drifting of one of his favorite songs and the sound of a juicer going in the kitchen, emotion swirling in apprehension in my stomach. I’m nervous being here with him, being alone and having to face him.I pull on an oversized white bath robe and wander cautiously out through to the large open

“I still love you, Jake, but I’m so confused right now and so hurt. I was always yours. I don’t know how else I could’ve made you believe it. What else I could have said or done?” I’ve no idea what else to say after that. So many things are running through my head, trying to process that Jake could be as insecure as me in our relationship has completely thrown me, I never imagined someone like him would doubt anything; let alone how I felt about him.“You didn’t need to, baby. I should’ve realized it before acting like the world’s biggest asshole. I love you more than anything in the world, you have to believe that.” He catches my other wrist and pulls both hands up, so I’m drawn toward him, his forehead touching mine, giving me no option but to obey.His alluring green eyes meet mine, but they are dark and foreboding with the intensity of

“Where do you want to drive to?” His voice is softer, with being so close and his gaze is intent on my mouth. I can tell how much he wants to kiss me, and it only makes the fear inside me lift higher. That kiss invites her into my head, all the pain of what he did and I’m not ready to deal with that right now. I turn away, so I’m not tempted and push my empty plate aside. I look out across the open-plan room and sigh knowing that he’s reading every signal I’m giving off with apprehension, probably overanalyzing every one. Being so near him has my head in chaos about what I want from him, blurring the lines of how much touching I can bear to allow.“I don’t know … just anywhere, somewhere pretty. Somewhere that’s not here.” I shrug. I don’t know why I want him to drive me anywhere, maybe the motion of the car, and Jake being the one in control somehow makes it feel better. It means I can take a time

Jake is right, less than half an hour later the lovely Doctor Rachael Brown is shown into the room to examine me. I tell her there’s no point evicting Jake as he’ll only linger, asking questions, at the closed door every two minutes distracting her from her job. He has an air of command oozing from him and he’s in a no-nonsense mood. He’s already hanging at the side of bed with a grim expression on his face, as though he wants to beat someone.“Doctor.” He nods her way and watches her like a hawk.She smiles, indulgently, and gives me a sympathetic look. I guess she’s met a few overprotective men in her career and looks like she can handle the Carreros of this world.“So, now, how can I help here?” She smiles sweetly, her voice as smooth as honey, with one perfectly manicured hand she runs a stray copper hair back into her neat French roll. She looks more like one of Jake’s top executives than a d