I arrived at Wells a day earlier. Excitement and nervousness lance through me. My steps falter as I rush up the front of Amelia’s house with my bundle of joy. Mace’s pacifier keeps him from making a sound. So far, he has been compliant, but I know he will go on his knees the first chance he gets. Now that he can crawl, no one or nothing can stop him from exploring.The door opens, and Ashley smiles. The rat nest on her head is a testament of the toll this journey has taken on all of us involved. Lucky me never have to worry about hair. All it takes is a brush through it and I’m good. “At this point, you deserve a key,” she says.I laugh it off. Pushing my way in without an invitation, my eyes scan the dim place. The living room is empty. Jason must be in Amelia’s room. Ashley pads in after me. She makes a funny face at Mace, and my son giggles around his pacifier. I turn around to face her.“Do you want to c

The burial was quiet and private. I don’t recall most of it. Maybe I do. But I don’t want to be flooded with images of my best friend being lowered to the ground. Losing Mr Dissick hurts but it’s nothing compared to this. He’s alive and she isn’t. I may see him again but Amelia is gone forever. A cry from somewhere in the house breaks through my thoughts. The pillow in my hands drops. We used to play with this pillow, sleep in this room. I wipe my nose that’s red from excess crying. We buried her today. Taylor and Rose are downstairs entertaining the guests. I hate this idea of the bereaved family serving visitors. They just lost their child, they should be given a break. I hurry to the bathroom and splash water on my face before heading out to check on Mace. Mace is with his grandpa. I may or may not have been the best mother to him. I make sure my face has no evidence of crying as I near the bottom of the stairs. Staying in Amelia’s room gives me courage to go an extra day. It’s

“Your father is an asshole,” I tell Mace. He giggles. “No, don’t laugh, Macey. Let’s hate him together.” Someone clears their throat behind me. I jump and hide Mace from their view. It’s Dad. Walking around Mace’s crib, I try to smile at my father. He leans on the door, watching me like I would watch Mace. “I didn’t mean that,” I state to diffuse the tension. “Well, maybe. Only a little bit.” “Are you okay?” he asks from the door of the guest room in his London house. He might not have understood why I asked us to leave Wells but he drove us back to his house. I suspect Calum will check mine.“Why wouldn’t I be?” I reply. “Cathy.” “I’m fine,” I whisper. I just buried my best friend, and my baby daddy walked back into my life. Of course I’m okay, I’m cool. “I&

Dad is quiet. I need him to say something, give me hell for threatening someone—my baby daddy on his property, but he doesn’t do any of that. I stop pacing and kneel beside Mace’s rocking chair. I should have let him see his son. What the hell is wrong with me?  “What will you do?” Dad asks. “I don’t know,” I reply. Mace blinks at me. I rock his foot until his eyes fall close and his breathing evens out. We need to leave. I checked an hour ago, Jason’s car is gone and Dad volunteered to drive me home. “You should make up your mind,” Dad says behind me. I scoop Mace out of his chair. Dad is being too gentle with me. I know it’s the guilt. I also know I shouldn’t put him in this situation, but I can’t help it. “Whatever happens, he deserves to see his son.” “I know.” I close my eyes and my chest sags.

7 am comes faster than I expected. I’ve hardly fed Mace when I hear the knocks from downstairs. We glance at each other, and I get out of bed sluggishly. I need to eat or I may slump. But I have no appetite. Since Mace can crawl, I let him down on the floor once we are downstairs and skip to the door. Calum is all smiles when I open up. “Hey.”“Hey,” I reply. I step back for him to enter. “He crawls?” he asks, his voice laced with excitement. I nod, but he’s already gone to his son. Squatting before Mace, he says, “Hey.” A spell of dizziness hits me as I stagger to them. Calum lifts Mace off the floor, coming to stand beside me. “Hey, are you okay?” “Yeah. I’m fine. Did you drive here?” He looks suspicious. “Yes. Have you eaten?” I don’t think I’ve had anything to eat in two days. If I have, I don’t remember. Whatever the case, I don’t have much of an appetite.“Yeah,” I reply. “You should sit down,” he murmurs. I don’t want to argue in front of Mace so I follow him to the couc