MichealI was pretty upset to see Astrid run back to Lucas so fast after what happened between us. I told her I wouldn't tell because I knew if Lucas knew what had happened I would never get a moment with her again. I was right too, since she told him I haven't been able to be alone with her. I knew I needed to put these feelings for Astrid aside for now. Last night I hesitated going to Lucas. Not because it was a risky move but because I knew that without him Astrid would be all mine. I shuddered at the memory of my mental betrayal. Lucas wasn't a bad guy, he just doesn't deserve Astrid in my mind. However, that didn't mean he deserved death. I hated feeling this way. I always end up feeling agitated all day, because I don't want to hurt Lucas. I just also don't want him to have my Astrid. I have been needing to fight a lot more here lately to release this agitation and anger. I have been hitting the simulation a lot these past couple days. Astrid and Lucas had actually gotten a b

AstridI opened the door to Micheal's room to find Lucas right against it. He had been picking at his fingers with anxiety. I felt bad for having been in a locked room with Micheal for so long. What was really eating at me was that those visions were my fault in a way. "What happened?" Lucas asked as he got up. I walked him towards our room before answering. Hoping Micheal wouldn't hear me. "He had another vision" before I could finish telling Lucas everything, he had turned around running towards Micheals room. My heart almost raced out of my chest as I ran after him. I knew what was about to happen and I wanted desperately to stop it. I knew Micheal was in no state of mind to fight Lucas or to hear any cruel words. I also knew Lucas was in no state to hear the things that Micheal might share with him. I understood why Lucas was mad but I also understood why Micheal was so sad. I was finding it harder and harder to pick a side and stay with it. I could empathize with both my husba

It took everything in me not to go back to Astrid right away. Not to take the words I said back. I know I'm being selfish but she was being selfish too. This can't keep happening. I'm not a jealous man, but it's different with Michael. I don't understand why she can't send him away. Why is she choosing to keep him around and make our problems worse? Lana made room for me in her house with Jason. They looked surprised to see. I let Lana know what was happening, but I didn't wanna share with Jason. I know he's a good kid but I don't know him that well to tell him all my marital problems. Lana seemed to understand and she tried not to pry too much. I liked living with Lana these past few years. She was kind and understanding and very caring. She and I got closer these past 5 years, so it felt easy to just be back with her. Sleep never came to me last night. I had stayed up full of worry, wondering why Astrid still hadn't come to get me. Had she chosen Micheal? The worry only ate at m

AstridI watched Lana leave with Lucas and take a piece of my heart with them. I knew what I was doing was right, but it was killing me. I hadn't flipped the switch yet. I wanted to mourn my relationship for one night before I did. I couldn't believe this was how it ended. We weren't meant to be all this time, but that doesn't mean that we didn't fall madly in love. I know that if we keep our marriage going that it would only continue to hurt us. I knew the moment I saw that string tie around my pinky and connect me to Micheal that I would just keep hurting Lucas and Micheal. I couldn't keep doing that. I had to say goodbye to the wonderful, caring man that I called my husband. My heart was breaking and I let it all out the moment Lucas and Lana stepped out of the front door. I dropped to the floor sobbing, holding my chest in pain. Micheal came out of my room and picked me up. "I am sorry" I told him, not just for having to see me cry over Lucas, but also because he had been right

MichealI had been scared of going to sleep here lately. I keep thinking that when I wake up it will have all been a dream. It feels like a dream. She's finally mine and I still can't believe it. I woke up beside her again, and her beautiful face resting on my arm. I woke her up knowing she wouldn't want to waste the day. We decided to run simulations today with everyone. It would be Shawn, Libby, Whisper, Astrid, Alfie, myself and Tristan. I didn't want Tristan to come. The way he has been acting with Astrid didn't bode well for me. He was being too cruel. I was excited to work with everyone again but also worried. We hadn't fought with one another in a while and I was worried we would all clash. We are all used to being the dominant one in a fight and here we were about to have to help one another. We all gathered in the simulation area and I couldn't feel the uncertainty radiating from everyone. Astrid came in after me causing a calming air to pass through us all. She breathed co