Marcus whistles softly. "You sure clean up nice when you get yourself out of those yoga pants."I shoot him a disapproving look as I finish applying my blush and grab my flat iron again."I'll have you know, I wore jeans most of the day today.""Ooh! You're stepping up your game.""Ha. Ha. Actually, I had to go grocery shopping and didn't feel like looking like a total schlump."He plops himself down on my bed, a newly dyed purple Mohawk flopping to one side, and watches me finish getting ready. I don't particularly care to have a bathroom vanity in between the bathroom and my master closet. It's seriously outdated. But it comes in handy when I'm trying to primp and I need to hear the kids. Or talk to my next-door neighbor."Well I think you look fantastic." He looks around. "Your room, however, is a disaster.""I couldn't find anything to wear," I say, as I clip a section of my hair up and out of my way. "I haven't been on a date in over a decade.""I just find it interesting that the

"So how old are your kids?" Tom asks me from across the table. We're sitting at Texas Roadhouse, a high energy, loud steakhouse chain that can be found all over Houston. It's the only place I've ever been that gives you buckets of peanuts to eat before your meal and actually wants you to throw the shells on the floor. It's messy, but fun. And their rolls are to die for so when Tom suggested it, I knew I was game."Five, three, and one," I say, as I glance over the menu. It's been so long since I've been here, it's hard to decide what to eat. "Wow. You have your hands full." Tom puts his menu down and leans forward on the table. His clear green eyes are really kind. He has dark hair with a little gray mixed in. Not a lot, but enough to make him look distinguished. "I remember when my kids were that age. They ran me ragged every day, and I was only home for a few hours because of work."I smile at him. In person, he is almost exactly like he is on line. Kind and inquisitive. Asks lots o

It's been two weeks since I saw her outside the apartment with that guy. That guy she was on a date with. Thinking about it still makes me feel like there's an animal clawing at my chest. It hurts so badly to know she was out with another man. The shit of it all is it may have been the first time I actually understood the kind of hurt I made her feel. I always knew how badly I had damaged her, but I never really had anything to compare it to. I guess I couldn't really fathom how it made her feel.I can fathom it now, and it's awful.I went home that night and cried. No, that's not right. I wept. Like a fucking baby. I wept for the loss of my wife. I wept for the loss of my children. I wept for the loss of the life I loved. In a weird way, I wept for the loss of myself. I don't know why it didn't occur to me that I was living a weird double life. What is wrong with me that I could so easily push down the guilt every time I did it? I don't even know where to begin with fixing it, and th

I stare at him in disbelief. For the first time, the depth of his infidelity is sinking in. This wasn't just getting caught up in the moment at parties. This was serial cheating. Like he had a whole different life I never even knew about."Mariana." I look up as Anne addresses me. "I can see you're feeling a lot of different emotions right now. Can you tell me what you're feeling?"I shake my head. "I don't even know what I'm feeling right now. I'm so… I'm so pissed. How could you do that to me? To us?"Santos flinches, but it's Anne who addresses me again. "What else are you feeling, Mariana? I know you're angry. What else?""I…" My brain spins out of control and it's taking a lot of effort to figure out how to answer her questions. "Humiliated. He didn't just get bored and lonely. He was never faithful from the beginning." I turn to look at him again. "You weren't, were you? You have never been faithful to me, have you? I was never enough, was I?"His eyes snap up to mine and he star

Her words shock me. I grab her arms, stopping her assault. "You think I find you repulsive?" I try to look her in the eyes, but she's crying so hard, she can't even open them. "You are the most beautiful, perfect thing in my life, Mari. You deserve more than dirty sex just so I can calm down after a game.""That is a fucking cop-out!" She pulls out of my arms and backs away like she's afraid of me. "I'm your fucking wife, Santos. You think sex in a marriage is only about love? It's also about orgasms and pleasure and fun. Do you know how many times I dreamed you'd bend me over the couch and fuck me like one of your dirty whores?"I reel back. "You didn't, did you? Because you needed justification for your own fucking behavior." She gets in my face. "Let me ask you a question, after we started dating in college, were you already cheating on me during away games?"I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. "That's what I thought. You're not sorry for doing it; you're sorry you go