All Chapters of My Alpha, My Hellfire: Chapter 61 - Chapter 70
90 Chapters
60
Alec’s POVI gritted my teeth in frustration when she remained silent and went back to staring into space.Her tears continued to flow down though and it was the only indication that what I showed her did have some major effect on breaking away at her numbness.I moved in front of her and held her chin to make her stare at me.“You wanted to make sure she was fine from day one and I just showed you that she is way beyond fine. Why are you crying?” I asked in a low voice as I stared into her anguished blue eyes.She sniffled a couple of times, holding her sob inside her so she doesn’t break down in front of me.My grip on her chin softened as I released a tired sigh.I cupped her face with both hands and said softly “I can’t keep doing this anymore. I’m tired of this game, and apparently so are you. Just talk to me, I will listen to you I promise”Her eyes turned from anguished to
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61
Alec’s POVIt was almost three in the morning and the weather was biting cold, but she needed the fresh air now more than ever.I thanked Ryan heartily in my head for coming up with the idea of the patio because if it wasn’t for the fire pit he built there, I wouldn’t have been able to take her outside in this atmosphere.I climbed on the platform, hit the lights hanging on the railings and started the fire as high as it could go before going back inside into the main closet by the front door.I put on a heavy winter jacket and took another one for her, in addition to winter shoes and headed back to where I left her.Thankfully I found her still on the chair and still breathing like I told her to. Her lips were no longer blue and some color started to return back to her face.She was lost in her head, staring absently at the window I opened for her as I knelt down and put on her shoes before I wrapped the jacket around her
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62
Andrea’s POVI winced when my hands fisted automatically at the mention of my latest nightmare. The most horrible, scary, and thank goddess not real nightmare.The nightmare that finally broke me, drove me crazy to the extent that I begged Alec to be whatever he wanted me to be, to give him everything he wanted to know from me just so that it wouldn’t turn real.“Don’t, you’re hurting yourself! Let go please….Andrea” he said soothingly, trying to make me open my palms and release my tight hold so that I wouldn’t bleed further.I couldn’t contain my shudder this time as it escaped me at the mention of my name from his lips. Something about the way it comes out of him makes me feel a lot of goosebumps. And I can’t even admit that those goosebumps were so terrible to be felt. That nightmare messed with my head completely but I had no more power left in me to fight this destiny anymore. To fight the
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63
Andrea’s POV “Shhh, don’t think about that anymore. What’s done is done Andrea. Saying ‘if’ will not change anything. We need to get past what happened together, we can’t be stuck in the past forever” he said fiercely, wiping away my tears with his thumbs softly while talking to me. I leaned into his touches, seeking comfort in them, a relief from the constant sea of pain I keep drowning in. I had my eyes closed, so I didn’t expect what he did next when he leaned closer and printed a warm kiss on my forehead. My eyes opened in surprise and I saw him looking at me warmly “Don’t be afraid of anything or anyone Andrea. I’m willing to put the past behind me. What you did, why you did it, you don’t have to tell me about those if you don’t want to. Just be with me, whatever pain I caused you in the past, forgive it. Let’s start fresh together. Give each other a real chance to get to know each other without the shadow of our pasts lingering behind us” “I’m just so… tired Alec. I’m tired
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64
Andrea’s POVAdrian and Alec looked identical in their appearances that anyone who doesn’t actually know them can mistake them for the other and call them twins despite the two year gap between them.Of course now they can instantly be distinguished because Adrian keeps his hair to a shoulder length while Alec’s hair is short on the sides with longer strands in the middle.But ten years ago, they looked exactly the same. Somehow though, eight year old me was always able to pick out Alec even if they were together.I don’t know why, but it was always Alec that caught my attention and sent my heart racing in childish love every time I saw him around the pack house.It was always Alec that I would stalk around and watch from afar.Adrian never sparked any interest inside me. I never paid him any attention, and never bothered to know anything about him or about his personality.I wonder now how and why I felt this connection to Alec even though there was no way to tell we were mates back
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65
Andrea’s POVI don’t know why now, but I just got a strong feeling from the bond telling me he was so angry. I didn’t know why I couldn’t get a glimpse of his feelings before when I was wondering where he disappeared into. It was almost like he didn’t just shut off his mind link, but he also shut off the bond between us if that was even possible. Even though this was supposed to be a magic free zone for me and him because of the magic spell surrounding this territory, I could still feel his immense anger telling me he was feeling a lot of it if it could reach me despite the magic.The moment he appeared through the dim corridor, a flood of relief ran through me. Just the mere sight of him made me feel instantly safe. But still, there was a small part that wasn’t entirely relieved because it didn’t know why he left me alone and disappeared without telling anyone anything. A small part was still afraid that he will break his promises to me for some reason.“Where were you? And why weren
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66
Andrea’s POVI stared at him in stunned silence, a million questions going through my head all at once. He remembers me? How much does he remember exactly? And when did that happen? Was that the reason he left me alone and disappeared? What is going on through his head?And then I remembered what he said to Adrian back at the cell.‘I know exactly who she is’He watched me process this without saying anything. He was just staring at me sadly. Was he sad for me or for himself because he thinks the past is too heavy to accept?I finally gained enough courage to ask in a thick voice “What do you remember? And when did that happen?”His hand moved to my hair, brushing it and playing with it as he spoke gently “It was after we slept last night. I had a dream, more like a memory I think your name triggered it and as soon as I woke up, I remembered everything else”“What memory was that?” I asked carefully, wanting and not wanting to know, the pain of my past memories was not something I go
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67
Alec’s POV“We need to talk Alec! I’m not waiting any longer”I woke up to my brother’s angry voice in my head.I resisted the urge to curse at him for being such an overprotective asshole and acting so cruelly towards my mate.I still haven’t forgiven him for taking her away from me without giving a damn about me and causing her so much fear. She didn’t tell me everything that happened with him, but the second I was informed about what my idiot of a brother has done, the amount of fear that traveled through me from the bond almost brought me down to my knees. He scared the living hell out of her and I wasn’t going to let that one go if it wasn’t for Andy begging me not to fight with him over her.After I revealed to her that I know who she is, we talked for a while. I asked her to tell me what happened after they left the pack and when she told me, it broke my heart all over again.Her mother wanted revenge for her father and left Andy at the human social services to join the rogues
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68
Alec’s POVShe heard everything…. Dammit!I should have risked leaving her alone or at least I could have left Mila with her and did this in my office so I don’t get put in this situation.Maddox disagreed with me “Nah, your stubborn brother would have never left that alone. She’s going to find out sooner or later. Better do it now and try as much as you can to be there for her because his will hurt more than anything else”I approached her until I stood facing her and said tenderly, trying to stop her from seeking the truth one last time “Andy…we agreed to leave the past behind, didn’t we? Nothing will change I already promised you that. Let’s just forget about everything else and live for now, for tomorrow…. Please, for me”“He said….. He said traitor. I heard him…..so was he? He really did…. Betray the pack?” she asked in anguish as her tears fell down thickly. Each teardrop was a size larger than the one before it. Each teardrop stabbing at my heart and punching tiny holes in it.
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69
Alec’s POV“Wait, hang on! The same alpha King you saved her from?” Adrian asked in astonishment.“Yes” I said curtly, walking hurriedly back to my pack house while mind linking Andy’s doctor to come to my quarters and bring everything she needs with her.“Shit!” Adrian cursed tightly.I tightened my hold on her automatically, thinking back to the moment I found her at that pack, abused, naked, broken, and scared. Only one night at that place ruined her completely and I would have been willing to do whatever it takes, go through every hell there is, to go back in time and stop that animal from seeing her in the first place.But that was not within my power to do. And all I was left with was to try like hell to help her get past everything, especially that monster. I have that fear that I will not be enough to make her forget all that pain and terror she lived through. That she will always be affected by that wretched night and keep suffering because of it. The thought of losing her is
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