Sunday comes, and Margaret shows me how to cook again. She leaves, and I go back to bed. There is no point in me being awake. I am alone, and everything is planned. Waking up it is Monday. I can’t stay in bed. I know Georgina is coming today. Getting up, I eat and wait, and sure enough, Georgina arrives, but she is carrying my dress and hers.“Let’s go shopping. We need outfits for the hen night, and you still need your lingerie!” She smiles, dragging me out the door. I find my dress for the hen night quickly in the first shop, and my lingerie in the second shop. Then another fifteen shops later, Georgina finally finds a dress she likes. We spent more of our time shopping for her than for me, which I don’t mind. Today has gone by quickly, walking between the shops. Getting in the car, I start driving home. We go inside, sit down and eat.“Hen party tomorrow, so early night tonight, and I am staying here.” She smiles, looking far too excited, to be honest. I am not looking forward to i

Standing up, I turn my back to him. “Unfasten, please,” I ask, my back to him, waiting for him to unfasten the buttons. I feel him unfastening the buttons. I let the dress drop to the floor, slowly turning to face him.Here I am, wearing a white Basque, suspenders and stockings, not something he has seen me in. I am always naked at the start or not clothed for the bedroom.I watch as he looks me up and down, over and over, taking the image of me in. “Fuck!” is all that he can say as he grabs me, pulling me onto the bed with him. The night is amazing. We are equal, no restraints, no blindfolds, both equally in control. I’m shocked as I take his shirt off and the bruises all over his body. I try to act like I don’t notice them, fighting not to mention them. I want tonight to be perfect.Waking up, I walk downstairs, cooking breakfast for him for the first time, and it not burning. Just as I am finishing, he walks down. “That smells like food that is not burnt,” he chuckles, looking a

He comes back in and tries to smile, but I can see it is fake.“I need to leave tonight. I know it is short notice, but I was only given the time to come home to marry you.” He looks happy but sad at the same time. I look at his still-bruised face. How is this going to work? How can I go through pregnancy alone if he keeps leaving?“It will be for two weeks, maybe three. Tomorrow is booked and paid for, so go. You won’t be needed in the business. I told the staff and security to sort out everything else.” Standing, I just stare at him.We only got married yesterday!“I wish I could refuse. I can’t, Alena, you have to understand that. This is the last mission I will be on, though. The first part should have been completed but hasn’t been.” He starts kissing me. “I am asking Georgina to move in while I am away to watch you.” I need to snap out of this black depressive hole.It is hard, but I have to. It is not just him and me anymore. It is a baby and us.“I will be fine. I will be read

Arriving at the same church we got married in, I walk behind the empty coffin that is carried through. Liam, Marcus and the rest of the team are carrying it.The church is full. People are even standing. Clearly, Jackson had a lot of team members over the years. The ceremony starts. Georgina sits on one side, hugging me, and Jackson’s Mum on the other side. A few people get up to speak. Watching as it gets to my turn, I don’t know if I can cope and do this. How can I do this without him? I get up, walking up slowly, looking at my even bigger bump. The photo of Jackson rips my chest open. I feel like I have died. He shouldn’t be gone.“Jackson was a man who cared for everyone he knew deeply. He had lost his own baby and his sister but still kept fighting. He knew what people wanted, even when they didn’t know what they wanted.” Why am I doing this? I am accepting he is gone, yet I can’t accept it.“He opened me up. I was hidden and scared because of my past, scared because of what happ

At 38 weeks pregnant, we decided we will try making the relationship work properly. I have decided I need to move on. It has been nearly 8 months since Jackson left. It feels too soon, but leaving it much longer means Liam will soon find someone else.Sitting here relaxed, everything feels great, laughing at the film. A pain shoots across my stomach, and I wrench. Liam jumps up.“Georgina, grab the bags.” He screams upstairs. I laugh and shake my head.“Liam, calm down. One pain doesn’t mean I am in,… Aaah, F-U-C-K,” I scream and bend forward as the pain shoots through me again.“Something is wrong, Liam. Something is really wrong.” I feel like I am being cut open, or worse like something is cutting me open from the inside. I have no idea what happened to Tallulah; Jackson had said she was born with half a heart. I didn’t even think to ask how they didn’t know, and now it is too late.Georgina grabs my bags, and we get in the car, travelling to the hospital. The pains get closer toget