The memory of our first kiss is sobering, especially after the events of the last couple of weeks. But it's one I've desperately needed to recall. I haven't forgotten those vows I made to myself, and I intend to keep them for the rest of my life.I'll go crazy if I don't.Almost a week after the move, I find myself lying in bed, watching the night sky outside my window. My mom called me twice tonight - once to ask my opinion about what color dress she should wear to Sara's wedding, and once to chastise me for not telling her and my dad that Luca and I were moving in together. After my argument with Luca last weekend, I completely forgot to call her. I ended up telling her that I was worried what Dad's very Catholic parents would think about me living with a guy out of wedlock, but I'm not sure she bought it.Just tell her, I thought more than once during our conversation. Just tell her the truth. But I couldn't get the words to leave my tongue. I ended up just apologizing profusely

Luca is staring at me, waiting for me to tell him why he, of all people, shouldn't be noticing my body."Isn't it obvious?" I say, flustered. "Considering - shit! The bath!" I dart past him down the hall, back toward my room. I'm nearly to the door before I remember the whole reason I left in the first place. I spin back around. "Towels. I need towels.""There should be some in the closet just down - "I nearly run into him again as I dart past. I throw open the door he indicated and grab as many towels as I can hold."Get as many as you can," I tell him.He still looks confused, but he comes over to the closet. I run back down the hall and into my bedroom.The water has soaked further into the carpet. I throw down a couple of towels and stomp on them, trying to absorb as much liquid as possible. The rest of the towels I throw down on the bathroom floor."Whoa. What happened here?"Luca is standing in the doorway, his arms full of towels and his eyebrows practically up to his g

Don't do it, I warn myself. You'll only get yourself more worked up. But I can't help myself. I need to know, once and for all.I grab the camera and turn it on. I pull up the video on the digital screen on the back, take a deep breath, and play it.My heart thuds in my throat as the recording begins. But the light in the room was fairly dim at the time, and the screen on the camera is too small for me to see much besides Luca and me rolling around on the ground.I need a bigger screen. Right now.Tucking the camera under my arm, I return to the rec room and the large television. Frantically, I search for a cable or some other way to connect the camera, but all I see are a few carefully hidden wires going back into the wall behind the screen.I run back around the corner into the movie vault. Sure enough, I find a cubby in the wall housing the Blu-Ray player, cable box, and other assorted television attachments - including a cable that hooks right into the camera. I connect it, sw

I still have no idea how Luca does this to me, how he brings out an angry side that I didn't know I had.My mood bounces all over the place as I get ready for the party. A cold shower helps, but only a little. One moment I feel ashamed and embarrassed, the next I'm back to being pissed - pissed at myself and at Luca. Everything is a joke to him. Sometimes I wonder if he has real feelings, or if he's gotten so good at the fake ones that he's forgotten what the genuine ones are like.An image of him hunched over next to the pool floats to the front of my mind. He seemed to be feeling something genuine enough then. But if he's not going to show any real emotions around other people - around me - how am I supposed to respond?I do some of Dad's breathing exercises as I pull on my dress. I need to calm myself down before the party. There are going to be a lot of important industry people there tonight, and Luca and I need to present a united front, even if I'm still reeling on the inside

Luca doesn't wait for me to respond. I don't even have time to grab my drink before he's pulling me away from the bar. His arm slides more fully around my waist, holding me against his side as we go back across the room away from the bar - and his brother Rafe."What was that about?" I demand."You tell me. What were you and Rafe talking about before I got there?""Just random stuff, nothing important. I was telling him about the bathroom.""It looked like a lot more than that.""Well, it wasn't. We were just talking.""He was leaning awfully close to you for just talking."I nearly stop in my tracks. "What exactly are you implying here? We were just talking.""But to everyone else here, it looked like a hell of a lot more. Good God, Emilia, he was flirting with you - ""Making toilet jokes is not flirting."Confusion flickers across Luca's face, but he keeps going. "And you were flirting right back - ""I wasn't flirting. I was talking.""You were giggling. And leaning int