Spade drove straight to Nate's apartment after he had left his office building, knowing fully well that the young man would be in his own apartment, he tried to calm his racing heart, he couldn't even understand how he was feeling at the moment, his brain was in a complete mess and everything he was seeing now didn't make sense to him, as he could barely even make any sense of his own feelings at the moment.Stopping in front of the building, he sighed out when he saw Nate's car parked just in front of his, he was just in time, he rushed out of his car and ran all the way into the building and up the elevator, his mind going back to what Garcia had told him just before he left his officeHe remembered asking him who had given him the recording and the man had answered with one name"Greg Miller"He gritted his teeth immediately he stopped in front of Nate's apartment, he knocked on it, trying to calm the rage and turmoil inside of him, he didn't want to come off too strong because if

NathanSitting on the couch for the past hour and my mind has been blank, well not completely blank but what's the point?I've tried calling Matteo, not that he didn't pick up, of course he picked up but what I heard was not what I had wanted to hear.I know he already told me that he won't talk to Spade on my behalf and I totally understand him but I just wanted to try my luck one more time, at least before I give up.But it's not that easy to give up, not when I still love Spade so much, I haven't even been able to reach out to my sister but I know my father won't do anything to her, not after I've done what he wanted me to do.My hand move on it's own and landed on the gold piece Spade had given me a few weeks back, I fingered and caressed it, it felt like a long time ago that I was standing in the middle of his living room and he handed it to me.It's the only thing if him that I have, and as selfish as it sounds, I don't think I want to give it back.Him on the other hand wants n

SpadeI stood watching as both men landed their first on each other's face, hearing bones crack, I wondered which one of them was receiving the most blow, both had their faces bloodied and swollen, but it still didn't excited or amuse me one bit.Instead the more I watched, the more boring and plain it became, the others around me cheered though, while some just watched, grimacing once in a while if one of each men landed more punch than the other.I was trying to drown out their shouts and cheers, but if I did I'd just get swallowed up in my own thoughts and that was one of the main reasons why I started this in first place, to stop me from getting swallowed up in my thoughts.I hated that I couldn't keep it out of my head, that I couldn't keep him out of my head, and it was slowly turning into this uncontrollable rage that I couldn't understand.I wish I could just unlove him just as quickly as I had fallen for him, but even I knew it wasn't that easy.I was stuck like this, maybe i

He lit the cigarette as he took a huge deep breath, inhaling a very big part of the smoke, before breathing out through his mouth, watching the clouds of smoke pass out and scatter into mist in the air.He felt the hotness in his veins and the sweet smell of nicotine in the air, he knew he was probably already looking like shit by now, but he didn't care how he looked, what was the point anyway?There was absolutely no reason for him to try and look better.He felt even worse than he looked, he felt dead, lost and so fucking aimless.He didn't even really know if he was living or just surviving at this point His life was pretty boring and lonely before he met Nate, but it was worse now.Now he was miserable, heart broken and worst of all, he still couldn't admit that he hated Nate.He can never hate the young man even if he tried, and that was even worse than the heartbreak he was feeling.He ran his hands down his face, looking around his office once more.The bottles of whiskey on

NathanI groaned as I tried to move my body, my eyes were shut tight and a part of my face felt as though it was ran over, and my whole body felt the same, like a train had ran over me.I couldn't even move as i felt all my bones crack underneath my skin, I opened my eyes slowly and was met with white blinding lights, I quickly shut my eyes again, groaning out loud.God I felt like crap, my head was pounding and my wrists were stinging like hell, I knew I was bound to the something again, but to what, it felt soft so I was guessing it was a bed.I slowly opened my eyes again and tried to adjust it to the light, my face still felt crampy and it hurt like a bitch, slowly and surely my memory started returning as I remembered shooting someone, that man that would bring me meals in the room I was kept in.And then I ran, only to be stopped by some equally huge men who ended up beating the crap out of me until I passed out, and now I'm up again, only to realize that this wasn't a sick joke