Taylor“Wake me up before you go, go...” I turn my Wham alarm off. Today, I decide to wash my face and use the restroom prior to my temperature. As I wash my face in the mirror, I feel butterflies in my tummy. I might be ovulating today.I assume the peeing position on the toilet, I’m reminded of my tenderness discovered during the night. Moving through the soreness, I check my underwear as I conduct my morning business. I rub my index finger over the creamy white discharge on my cotton panties. I pinch my finger and thumb together, then apart as the internet stated. The consistency is sticky and stringy. Shit! This is a sign I might be ovulating. Oh crap! Oh crap! I’m not ready for this. I’m not ready for this. I quickly log my mucus observation, then place the thermometer under my tongue. I’m too nervous to I sit on the bed, I pace to the bathroom, to the door, and back with my aching thighs. I am afraid to look after the beep. If it is up, I will have to text Jackson, letting him k

Taylor Promptly at 6:00 a.m., Work It by Missy Elliott wakes me. I silence my alarm before texting Jackson. Me: I’m awakeJackson: Me too Kennedy will be down soon.I nervously retrieve my utensils from the towel on the vanity where I dried them last night. I toss the extra pillows on the bed, select my vibrator for the day from my drawer, crack the door, and climb under the covers.Kennedy peeks her head in several minutes later, and I motion for her to come on in. Her tender smile conveys all I need to know. I tuck the jar of sperm between my thighs. I again mentally walk myself through the entire process. I withdraw the sperm, use the syringe, and complete ‘The Deed.’My morning orgasm relaxes me such that I fall instantly back to sleep until later my ringing phone wakes me. Looking at the display screen, I see it’s nine-thirty, and Jorge is calling. It’s about time he called me. I connect the call. Before I can speak, he says hi.As we talk, I glance around the bed, noticing I di

Taylor at Dr. Wilson’s OfficeThursday, 10:00 a.m.Today’s session with Dr. Wilson, starts with my explaining what I mean by bad boys. I list the cheaters, the liars, the drunks, and the drug abusers I fell for. I share they were like shiny pennies for a week or two before showing their true tarnished side. We discuss whether I try to change these men or fix them and discuss these failed relationships in detail before tabling this discussion for another session.Next, she asks about my nightmares.“I didn’t experience any nightmares for the last two weeks,” I answer honestly.Dr. Wilson’s forehead scrunches while scrutinizing my honesty.“I’ve had troublesome daydreams instead,” I explain. “I feel blurry or drunk in the flashes. After each one, I immediately experience guilt for these thoughts. I feel like I’m hurting Kennedy, but I know I’m not. I don’t want to act upon them. I over-think my interactions with Jackson and his reactions to me. Our once comfortable friendship seems strai

TaylorJackson arrives home prior to Kennedy again.“Kennedy will be at Madison’s house for most of the night,” he informs. “Madison and Isaac are experiencing problems. Isaac left for a few days, so Madison asked Kennedy to come talk it over and keep her company tonight. What shall we do for dinner?” He asks.I simply shrug.“We can pick up some fast food. The kind of food that Kennedy will never consume,” Jackson suggests.We discuss a few options before I choose Sonic Drive-In, and Jackson agrees. We pile in my Mustang, lower the top, and cruise to the nearest Sonic, where we eat in the car parked at the curb. What is it about the simple burger and tater tots that tastes so delicious? Try as I might, I can never prepare a meal as yummy as this at home.“Why don’t you own a dog?” I blurt as Jackson pulls the car back into traffic.“I haven’t given it much thought,” Jackson replies. “We both love dogs, just not sure we have time for a pet. I work long hours, and Kennedy doesn’t have a

TaylorOn Thursday, Dr. Wilson asks me to share items from this week. I open my notebook slowly. Jackson and Kennedy watch, waiting to see what I report.Taking a deep breath, I share. “I have one item I wish to discuss as a group.” I look at Dr. Wilson as I remind her, “I suffer from secondary amenorrhea, so I don’t have regular periods. Kennedy texts and asks me daily if my period starts. Even though I remind her often that I don’t have periods, she continues. She even asks if I should buy a pregnancy test. I don’t want to disappoint Kennedy, but the absence of my period is normal. It’s not necessarily a sign that I may be pregnant.”Dr. Wilson sympathizes with the added stress this causes me. Directing her attention to Kennedy, she asks, “Kennedy, how does hearing Taylor’s words make you feel?”“I remain optimistic that Taylor could be pregnant,” Kennedy states, smiling. “I understand the lack of period doesn’t mean we’re pregnant. I only text and ask because if she started her peri