EthanI couldn't get her out of my mind. Like she'd poisoned me the first time we met and now I was slowly being consumed by the idea of us together. Where was she? Back in L.A. yet? How was she? The drama from the night before left a million questions running through my mind.Frank had basically pushed me back as he and Deza got Riley out the door and into one of their cars. I understood why I couldn't go with her, but seeing her fucked up, pale as a ghost and shivering uncontrollably broke something inside of me open. I'd spent my whole life not giving two shits about anyone but myself and now... She'd messed that up. My selfishness was at stake."That and my sanity." I moved my arms to position my clasped hands below my chin as I laid on my stomach in the darkness of my room. It was near lunchtime, but there was no reason for me to get up and moving just yet.I'd want to check in with Riley, but the last thing she needed was to hear from me, no doubt. By the sound of things, her mo

Two Days LaterRileyThe last two days had been a fog, a haze that I had to continuously push my way through. Losing track of time, or trying to understand that my mother really was gone had become part of the norm. I couldn't help but think it was my mind's way of coping with such a fucked up tragedy. The funeral was two days away, but the thought of standing over her casket left me empty, hallow, barren."Hey. I'm going to make myself some eggs. You want something?" Char stopped beside me as I sat at the kitchen table. Her soft grip on my shoulders felt good, like she were capable of infusing warmth into my cold soul with enough pressure."Sure. That would be nice." I glanced over my shoulder at her and offered a sad smile. "Thanks for taking off this week to be around me. I've needed it. Needed you."I put my hands on hers and squeezed them softly."I'd do anything for you. You're like a sister to me." She leaned over and kissed the top of my head. Her long blond hair cascaded down

EthanI was itching for release. It was selfish and stupid considering all that Riley was going through, but after taking the pretty Brazilian girl back to my room the night before, I couldn't go through with it. We drank the whole bottle of Jack, and I'd kissed her a few times, but fuck if I couldn't go through with having sex with her. She was breathtaking and yet I felt nothing. Not a damn thing.Deza almost seemed relieved earlier that morning to get rid of me, but I couldn't blame her. I was in cock-head mode, or so she called it. Nothing mattered and everything agitated me. I'd barked in her face more than once that I would be great if they would just butt out of my freaking private life. It was none of her damn business who I was sleeping with.We argued the whole sixteen hours home off and on. She would finally bury her face in a magazine or talk to Frank or sleep a little. It was the only break I gave her, and though I hated myself for being a jerk about it, I had no choice.

RileyMy hands shook as I buttoned the front of my black dress. Something about funeral homes and caskets and tombstones left me unraveled. The fact that I was going to bury my mother in an hour was beyond comprehensible, but to know that she was going to be laid to rest next to my older brother..."Hey. You ready to go?" Charlotte poked her head into the bathroom where I stood."Yeah. Sure." I reached for a tube of pink lipstick and put a little on my lips, not wanting to overdo it too much. The dark circles under my eyes had been a bitch to cover up, but somehow between me and Char, we'd done it."I'm going to be right beside you, okay? Jace is too. He's meeting us there." She gave me a quick hug and reached up to reposition the gold charm necklace on my neck. "Let's get some ice cream after this. I think we're going to need it a lot over the next few months.""Me too." I moved around her and picked up my small black purse. Numbness had settled around me, and I wanted to question ev

EthanI glanced back one more time before ducking into the sanctuary. Some lady a little older than me was singing Amazing Grace. I stopped beside the pew where Frank and Deza sat. They moved over and I took a seat next to Frank.Deza leaned across him, her cheeks stained with tears, her eyes wide as if frightened. "Did you see Riley?""Yeah. She's going home." I brushed my fingers by my lips and sat back as the image of her losing her shit in the foyer washed over me. I'd arrived just in time to catch her as she hit the ground. Never in my life had I wanted to offer someone anything I had to bring them back from their misery. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that it should have been me taking her home instead of Jace.I should have scooped her up as she fell and jogged out to my car. We could have spent the afternoon sleeping in my big comfy bed in the darkness, holding each other and me letting her see a side of me that even I wasn't sure existed. Though I'd never shown that part of