North rose from the couch to go get drinks, leaving his phone. I sought that as an opportunity to seal the deal with Monet. After all, he requested my help earlier.I took his phone, unlocked it and typed a text to someone he claimed to love the most before sending and deleting it the minute Monet saw it. Monet was typing and at the end, she sent a thumbs up emoji.Deleting all traces of my communication with Monet, I dropped North's phone where I had taken it from and acted like nothing had happened.“Tesfaye really needs a better mixologist,” North said as soon as he returned with two glasses of what I assumed to be margarita.“What about Jerry? Does he suck?” I asked, stretching out to collect a glass.“Jerry is just Jerry.” North sat down on the couch and took a long sip from the glass. He scrunched up his face. “The last time I had a drink like this was the first time I met Monet at a club.”I rolled my eyes. Can't he just keep shut up about Monet for a minute? “So you've actuall
PRESENT DAY“I am still wondering how Monet wound up dead and I can't even investigate it if I don't want to lose my head,” North said, playing with the food on the plate.I had nothing to say except mask my guilt. Monet was going to kill me because she thought I was going to hurt her ex boyfriend. They both really loved each other and I could not stand and watch both of them be happy together when I was dying inside of me.Maybe I could use North’s grief and loneliness to step up my game and enter another level. He was really suspicious and we were lying to one another. He knew about Bilen's death even though I lied to him that I was the one that killed Bilen, and my killing of Monet was proof of that.I was dealing with dangerous people here and it made my guard up. If they were dangerous, then I would be the goddess of danger. It was either being the scapegoat or setting trap for the goat.In this game that we are all playing here, I will not be the sore loser.“So what are you goi
I sucked in a breath the moment the lighter grazed my skin. A shiver ran down my spine, making the hairs on my body stand in attention. This was a painful pleasure that I will never get over, or have enough.A malevolent smile crept up on my face, as the fire burned deeply into my flesh. I wanted to feel the tingle of the flame and there was no way that sensation was missed. It sent me to cloud number nine and I never wanted to come down. The fire on my skin gave me a kind of deviled high that I could not get from drugs.Throwing my head back to lean against my door, I exhaled. No one could understand what I was feeling right now and if only people were not shallow minded, insanity wouldn't be a word in the dictionary. The ecstasy of pain has never been fully experienced before, it is a feeling which taste bittersweet and it is addictive like a drug that encapsulates reality into fiction with its realness. I have felt it and it has continued to fuel my insides with the illusion of my
It was boredom that made me leave the comfort of my room in a short dress and leather jacket with sneakers and come all the way to Block 24 where the party was happening. I made it my sole mission to avoid Bilen and anything that resembled Orion tonight. I came to this party to while away time and try to meet new people. I needed someone who was a child of woe like me to keep me company but truth be told, I don't care about anyone's feelings because it was irrelevant.The party was crowded already and people were wasted. I pushed through the sweaty bodies in annoyance and pushed my way above the spiral stairs, trying to find something sadistic to keep me going for the night. Nothing seemed interesting and it all came pouring down on me like poisonous vines that sucked the strength out of whatever it got entwined with. I inhaled and exhaled at once since nothing seemed to amuse me in this party. I don't even get the fuss about it and according to the grapevine, this was tagged as the
My heart kept on pounding against my ribcage like a crazy prisoner that wanted freedom. For the first time since I was diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder, I have never felt real pain like what I was feeling. The agony of seeing Bilen on the floor, his arms spread out and one of his legs twisted in an unholy angle and his eyes wide open and devoid of life while thick crimson blood pooled beneath his head, made me so angry to the extent that tears began rolling my cheek.The metallic smell of the blood mixed with exhaust of cars filled my nostrils. Without thinking, I crashed down beside Bilen and cradled his head on my laps as tears streamed down my face. I blocked out the panic and shouts around me, while I begged Bilen to wake up and stop this unnecessary prank.I slapped his cheek with what little strength I had in me. I could not believe what was happening right now and it all felt like my fault. "Bilen, please wake up let's go home," I cried, cradling him as he star
I was empty, sad and upset. Everyone who knew Bilen were on black and my mind was as black as night because I tried so hard to feel fine, but there was a hole drilling in my mind and it needed to be filled with something, even if it costed me to raise hell and watch the world burn. Seeing my grandparents in turmoil unequivocally broke my heart because no matter how old they were, they loved Bilen more than anything in the world. I also loved my brother even though there are times I wanted to wipe his smile off. My head was heavy and throbbing like I have been hit by a thousand pounds linebacker and my heart was bleeding the color black like the exact color of dress I was wearing. I squeezed my eyes shut to try to send the thoughts that were gathered, away, but it proved abortive. I have never felt a great unrest like this before and I am stuck with a gnarly inkling that whoever murdered Bilen was closer to me, lurking in the shadows. Stepping into the church triggered a lot of emot
I was on my own, wallowing in an intensifying misery. If only I was bulletproofed and void of any emotions, I would be good. But I wasn’t. I had feelings. I was no Hawaiian porcelain doll or a robot, but then there are some robots that have feelings.Doing one thing over and over was making me sick and mentally dying of boredom. I failed to attend lectures because the last time I went to school, there was a shrine at the entrance of the faculty for Bilen Araya and it got me upset seeing the colorful hearts people drew for my brother, knowing it was all fake love.A knock at the main door caught my attention and I wondered who chose to disturb my peace this hot afternoon. Leaving what I was doing, I left my room and sauntered to the door. I did not bother to check who was at the other side.I swung the door open with annoyance and I was immediately taken aback when I saw who stood there with a police badge. "Miss Araya?" Monty stared at me in disbelief like he was surprised to see me.
Let go of the light and fall in to the dark side. In as much as I was a sociopath, I really wanted to feel. I wanted someone to love me and want me, however, that was a big dream that was so out of reach.For so long, I have basked in solitude and thrived in chaos, but I don't want that anymore. I wanted to feel the company of someone else now that Bilen was no longer here to counter me and keep my behavior in check. I missed my brother so much.Although Monty was my new found acquaintance, something told me he was trying his best to step back from me since he was the detective in charge of the case of Bilen's murder.The school atmosphere was not really conducive for me and the moment I finished lectures for the day, I found my way home in order to relax my mind. When I got to my front door, I searched for my key to unlock the door. However, my key wouldn't budge in the lock and it became unsettling.Grabbing the knob, and turning the key, there was no pressure in the door. I steppe