XXVIII
I knew it was clumsy to do it that way, but one afternoon I went to where I had seen her get out of Harlan's car and there she was. She was walking near the tourist office.
'Good afternoon, Diya?' I tried.
'Yes,' she answered, puzzled.
'I wanted to talk to you about Harlan.'
'Ah, are you Anna, his girlfriend?'
I didn't remember us defining the relationship that way, but it sounded good.
'Well, that's one way of loo
XXIX I had caught up on my studies and was ready for any challenge. I had no rehearsal that after- noon, so I met with Harlan. I hoped everything would be cleared up, so we agreed that I would pick him up at the hotel. The front desk was clear, so I went straight to the desk. He gave me a discreet kiss on the lips. 'And your father?", I demanded. 'He's coming.' He didn't seem nervous, so I got straight to the point. 'Diya is not depressed.' He shook his head. 'I already told you, Anna. It was her father who told me.' Just then her father, who had overheard the conversation, came in. 'I've already spoken to my partner. He has lied,
XXX Leaving the house with Kate to go to college, I found a flower in the mailbox. "To Anna, with love," it said on a tag attached to the stem. 'Look, this has been left here. Could it have been Jack?' I asked Kate, whom I had already filled in on the boy's courtship. 'Well, if you don't know,' laughed Kate. I sighed, thinking about Jack's proposal, as we headed for the bus. 'But you've told him no, haven't you?' I remembered that I had turned him down without much vehemence. 'I'm with Harlan, you know that. But he has to make up his mind to come with me to London. Besides, you know something, and don't let him get out of here? Sometim
XXXI We entered the hotel arguing, with mutual reproaches. I demanded impossible proof from him that he had never been with Diya while she was with me. He, for his part, seemed to ask the same of me regarding Jack. We were evenly matched, so we ended up in bed, staring into each other's eyes, repeating "swear to me no..." and then eating each other out. Again those arms were wrapped around me. I was like floating after carrying all the tension with him. And yet, that night I dreamed of my brother Ben. We were in the park, playing cowboys and Indians, laughing and then playing cards with some cousins from London. I was happy then, but happiness is elusive.
XXXII I hurriedly searched for the keys, and sighed in relief that the car was driving away. 'Were you coming with Harlan?' reacted Diya, surprised. 'Yes, of course. It's better if he doesn't come in here. Or at least, I wanted to warn you first.' 'But why? I've already told you there's nothing going on between us.' My emotional brain was making me jealous, while reason was telling me that Diya was right. 'I didn't want to bring it without telling you first, in case you felt uncomfortable,' I lied. I didn't know if it sounded very convincing. As we drank coffee and watched MTV videos, I thought about how to say the right words. 'Well, we've got a problem,
XXXIIII couldn't help but break down in tears. 'Stop it, for fuck's sake, have you guys gone crazy?'I got in the middle of the two of them to try to separate them. Harlan wouldn't let go, and Jack looked focused, like he was gathering strength to punch him.'Let him go!' I insisted. Jack gained momentum and threw a punch, which hit him glancingly, but I got in the way and shouted again.'You're a bastard. You already hurt her once, you hear me?' Harlan accused the other as he stepped back, ready to walk away. I'd never seen him like that.If I'd been told Jack would get cocky, I'd have believed it more.'Did I? I don't know what nonsense you're talking, you deadbeat.'
I ANNA STARTS ANEW It is often said that misfortune and heartbreak make you stronger. I wish I could believe that. Having lost a brother might be a life lesson, but it was horrible when God decided Ben would pass away at the age of twenty-four. Just six years older than me, my beloved. And damn cancer killed him. Why? I don’t know. It was different with Monica, my ex-girlfriend. She never wanted to tell anyone we
II The quarter progressed and, as I'd expected, I was unable to get Jack out of my mind. We would greet each other laconically in the hallway of the house, keeping quiet at lunch. My conversations with both him and Beth were limited to household chores. Don't mix colors in the washing machine, turn off the light when it's daylight, don't let Roy overindulge in cho- colate and sweets. The literature professor had set a group assignment, so we met in the library. Most of the girls had little initiative. They obeyed everything proposed by Erika, an arrogant girl who thought she was always right. She was tall and posh, dressed in leather and after every word s
III My joy ended as soon as I returned home. 'But why are you coming so late?,' Beth, Jack's sister, chided me. Then I remembered that Erika, the one boasting to have seducted Jack, had mentioned her the day before. "'If it's just that they're two silly girls, it's normal for them to be such good friends", I thought. I tried not to answer back. That would have made things worse. Now no one could know that I liked girls too, but I was also afraid that they would find out about my kiss with Jack. 'Has the cat got your tongue?' 'I'm a little fed up with you, Beth.' 'What? Who do you think you are, you little girl?' I thought she was going to hit me, but