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Kabanata 30
Kabanata 30
Save me
I kept looking at him silently typing on my laptop while periodically reading the papers he was holding. I just find myself smiling every time he frowns as if he doesn't understand what he's doing. There were times when he would stop what he was doing for a moment and look away, as if he was thinking about something. I don’t know if I’ll be happy with what he’s doing or annoyed because I’m not sure if he really knows that job. Saka ko lamang malalaman iyon pag natapos na siya.
“Having a hard time, huh?” I finally approached him ngunit hindi man lang ako tinapunan ng tingin nito.
“I’m almost done here. After this, can you take me to a restaurant?” Tan
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Listens to Memories | Staring at Sound 2 Kabanata 31
Kabanata 31Anger"I'm off for today, Mau. Wala naman akong important schedule today, right?" I asked her as she answered my call the next morning.Saglit na tumahimik ang kabilang linya. Tila may ginagawa ito. Maya-maya pa, sunod na narinig ko ang pamilyar na boses kaya nangunot ang noo ko."Maurice?" I called her again dahil hindi pa rin niya ako sinasagot sa tanong ko."Uhm, Ma'am, sorry... wala naman po kayong important schedule for today. It's just that..." She paused again and I heard that familiar voice again.
Listens to Memories | Staring at Sound 2 Kabanata 32
Kabanata 32FeelingsIt is so hard to be alive these past few days. I don't know when it started. I don't know how it started. The last time I checked, I was fine. Everything was fine and peaceful. Hindi na ako nananaginip ng masama. Hindi ko na napapanaginipan ang pagkakabaril kay daddy noon at kung paano siya bumagsak sa harapan ko. Hindi ko na napapanaginipan ang kambal ni Zick nang dahil sa kagagawan ko. Hindi ko na napapanaginipan ang mga nangyari noon.Na sa sobrang traumatizing ng lahat ay talagang hindi ko kinakaya kapag inaatake ako ng nakaraan.But the past few days was so hard for me to spent. Unti-unti na namang bumabalik sa alaala ko ang lahat. I am starting to hear those screams inside my head again lalo na ang sigaw ni dad sa pangalan ko nang gabing 'yon. Na sa sobrang sakit ay mas gusto ko itong alisin sa sistema ko ngunit hindi ko alam kung paano."Acel, wait... please, talk to me."
Listens to Memories | Staring at Sound 2 Kabanata 33
Kabanata 33EscapeI still don't understand why I deserved to be hurt in my past. I don't get the reason why all these pain turned into traumas and issues I have no idea how to resolve. I don't think I will ever have a chance to fully grasp what all these sufferings mean, because at the end of the day, I always forgive.And I continuously forgive even without their apologies. I still love even there are fears of the history they carved on my skin. I still care even if my trust was milk-powdered. I hate that I was called resilient for responding greatly from my trauma. I hate that I am being bamboozled by all the what ifs, the how-it-happened, the go with the flow. I hate tha
Listens to Memories | Staring at Sound 2 Kabanata 34
Kabanata 34Dropped“Why did you even tell him? At kailan ka pa nagkaroon ng number niya?” puno ng iritasyon na tanong ko sa kaniya nang sagutin niya agad ang tawag ko.I heard he chuckled kaya mas lalo ang naramdaman kong iritasyon sa kaniya. Tila inaasar pa ako nito lalo.“I just told him you left the city. Hindi ko naman sinabi kung saan kayo nagpunta,” Levi simply answered.Umikot ang mga mata ko sa ere.“Kahit na! Hindi mo na lang dapat sinabi. Si Kiel iyon! Lahat gagawin no’n mahanap lang kami—”
Listens to Memories | Staring at Sound 2 Kabanata 35
Kabanata 35RainedWhen I met Kiel, I started to dream for a relationship that cares more about the silent battles and sudden joy; the one I know I can be carefree, but also makes me feel secured.It just crushed down when history came into the picture of our life. Na hindi naman dapat nangyari. Na hindi naman dapat kami kasali.I was too young and impulsive. Na sa sobrang puno ako ng pagmamahal noon ay kaya kong kalimutan ang mga kasalanan ng lahat para lang maging payapa ang isipan ng nakararami. It did nothing to me. It didn’t help me at all. Lalong gumulo. Lalong nasira. Lalong nawasak lahat ng pinanghawakan ko noon.
Listens to Memories | Staring at Sound 2 Kabanata 36
Kabanata 36WarEverything was so fast. Na sa sobrang bilis ay halos hindi ito maproseso ng utak ko. Na sa sobrang bilis ng lahat ng pangyayari ay hindi iyon pumasok sa utak ko kaya nanatili akong tulala. Ilang minuto ako nakatitig sa duguang si Kiel bago ako tuluyang gumapang patungo sa kaniya. Dinig ko pa rin ang putok ng mga baril. Tila marami iyon at kung sino man ang target no’n ay wala itong balak na buhayin iyon.“K-Kiel!” nanginginig kong sigaw nang makalapit ako sa kaniya.Nakahiga ito. Nakapikit ang mga mata. Kumalat sa buong katawan niya ang dugo kaya hindi ko malaman kung saan ito tinamaan. Kasabay ng pag bilis ng tibok ng puso ko ay ang mabilis na paghawak ko sa kaniya. Pansin ko ang matinding panginginig ng mga kamay ko.
Listens to Memories | Staring at Sound 2 Kabanata 37
Kabanata 37Visitor“I’m fine, Lynne. Stop overreacting,” tamad na sinabi ko sa kaniya at umirap sa kawalan.I focused my gaze on the ceiling and heave a deep sigh. Narinig ko rin ang marahas na buntong hininga ni Lynne sa kabilang linya.“Are you sure you’re still safe there? Bakit hindi na lang kayo umuwi rito. You can stay at our house, Acel,” puno ng pag-aalalang sabi niya sa’kin at sinabayan pa ng mura.Tiningnan ko ang anak ko na abala sa panonood ng kung ano. Seryoso ito at tila enjoy na enjoy. Maaliwalas nang muli ang mukha nito, hindi katulad noong isang araw nang mabungaran ko siya nang magising ako.
Listens to Memories | Staring at Sound 2 Kabanata 38
Kabanata 38LineI clearly remember what it feels to be left alone, clueless, and more than a stupid being. Naalala ko pa kung gaano ko hinahangaan ang buong pamilyang mayroon ako dahil talaga namang may mga sari-sariling pangarap ang mga ito na kahit mahabang panahon na ang lumipas ay mahal na mahal pa rin nila ito.Not like me. I was unable to find my own dream when I started to put myself in chaos. I started to feel off and out of place to my own family when I learned about their history. I started to doubt everyone when I found out how they made me feel more than a stupid eversince when I was a child. That because of this war between my family and his family, I am unable to hear myself laughing again because of too much
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