The warmth of my car provided little solace as I drove for hours, the chill of my boyfriend's hurtful words idling in my weary mind. I struck the brakes, a stray dog passed before my car right after. Calming myself, I pulled over to catch my breath. On the screen of my phone, reflecting the Christmas lights of the festive buildings surrounding the road on both sides, I saw it was 22:48 h. It reminded me of what day it was. December 20. And I was here. In the middle of nowhere, in a blizzard. I unlocked it and refreshed my messages. Adrian hadn't written to me after our fight, nor I was going to. He had been my love since high school. My first serious boyfriend, and what I hoped would be the last. Instead, when we moved to the big city, he grew distant with every passing day at his new job. When he was at home, he hid behind his laptop, so I did the same. I read romance books, as in reality, I could find no such thing anymore. Often, I peeked behind the screen in the hope our eyes wou

As always, my mom had prepared the best pancakes ever. Her days as a cook in the local diner were in the past now, but her amazing skills would never fade. I had missed her food. When I sat down on the overused table in the small dining room, the scent of our breakfast almost made me forget Matt was with us, making me excited and somehow shy. “Thank you for inviting me for those yummy pancakes, ma’am.” The guy next door showed his white pearl teeth to my mother, and she just nodded, taking her place next to dad. My eyes landed on Matt, who was sitting across from me and our irises met, electrifying my soul, so I quickly looked away. I was no kid, I knew I was attracted to him, but I also knew Adrian wasn’t in the past yet. It made me feel like I was cheating on him somehow. Maybe it was a habit to always consider myself taken, always in a relationship… or was it too soon to flirt with another? Whatever it was, for one thing, I was sure. I was curious about how Matt’s lips would feel

I was pulled out of my fog and was now staring at Matt with my widened eyes.“Are you okay?” His concerned voice embraced my troubled heart. “I was coming here and saw through the window how the phone slid off your hand and then you seemed so… Do you need water or something?”“Oh, he cares so much!” My inner voice confirmed my desires.“What is going on, Matt?” My Mom entered the room with a serious expression. “You seem concerned ab-” her chocolate eyes stopped on me. “Mia, you are so pale!”She rushed towards me and I began to wonder why they were so worried. Accidentally, I was making a huge drama.“Mom, I am okay.” I waved my hand, but it seemed like it was in slow motion.“Was I okay?” I thought and hid my face in my palms again.When I opened my eyes again, I was enveloped in my mother’s warm embrace. She checked my forehead for high temperature with a kiss and I inhaled her scent.“Ummm! Vanilla, ironed clothes, and something baked. A pie?” I smiled, resting my head in the cozy

I knew I had to keep a little of my self-respect and to try and be alone for a while. I had to figure things out with Adrian, which reminded me that he called, and I did not pick up.So, I felt like I had to go home and face the monsters of my relatives, called the cousins. My heart sank at the thought of what they would create for me this time.Matt stayed silent all the way back to my house because I asked him to. I needed time to think, and I felt ashamed of how weak I was in his arms, despite Adrian and I hadn't cleaned up the situation.I walked at a fast pace from the truck to my home, but at the doorstep, I halted and shook my head. Matt’s gloved hand appeared on my back and instantly I stared at his beautiful eyes. It was calming how this cold color in his irises radiated care and…love.“I know the stuff they used to do as we grew up.” He said in a low voice. “Now things might be different. More mature maybe?”Instead of answering, I sighed and nodded in defeat. Now or never…o