JUNEIt stings. Everything hurts. It felt like I had a run-in with a truck, and lived to tell the tales. My entire body ached so badly, it seemed like a heavy load was placed on it, especially my abdomen.The beeping sounds and murmured conversations caused me to open my eyes. I had to blink, to get my eyes accustomed to the brightness coming from the light bulb attached to the ceiling.“You were supposed to keep her safe!” I heard Kristen shout. It wasn't a whisper now, but a full-blown scolding.“I'm sorry,” Mark whispered. “It's all my fault. I shouldn't have let her leave my sight,” he sniffed.Even without seeing him, I can tell he's crying. And that alone tugged on my heartstrings.I opened my mouth, to call out to them, but I couldn't even utter a word. My throat felt parched. It felt like I hadn't taken any liquid for weeks—not like I had experienced that before.“No, it's not your fault,” Kristen whispered. “It's mine. I should have kept her safe. Hell, I shouldn't have acted

JUNEStaring at the walls did nothing to calm me down. Most times, my thoughts will always drift back to my baby, who would have still been in my stomach had that incident not happened.I have refused to see anyone, opting to stay cooped in my room all day, only coming out when it was time to eat. Kristen, Mark, and Edith have been trying to help me out of my dark times, but I never wanted to crawl out of the abyss.I wish to be enveloped in the darkness, let it spread through my fingers and make me numb to the affairs of the world. But I know that won't be possible. Staying inside means my baby gets to die in vain.I rose from the bed and stepped into the bathroom. I don't understand why we suddenly have to change houses. From Broadmoor to Southeast Seattle. It was a change that came unannounced, but I feel like Kristen knows exactly what he's doing since he promised to take me out of the country, soon.I shaved, brushed my teeth and had my bath before I exited the bathroom to get dr

KRISTENMoths are beautiful insects.I smiled as I watched them play around the street lamp, each one fighting to perch on the surface.I had left June with Edith in the kitchen. A great surprise how they weren't tearing at each other's throats. Well, I can confirm that June has grown a lot more these past weeks.That is what pain does...It delivers you into the cold hands of trauma, letting her print her trademarked symbol all over; then the pain comes back at you with a force that leaves you breathless, struggling to survive, struggling to breathe and carry out your daily tasks...After coming out—if you ever do—it would feel like you had scaled depressing years of understanding over Forty-three courses on the study of life.And just when you think you are finally gaining experience, you realize that you are yet to finish all the courses...It's a good thing Edith is downstairs to keep June company. I was already feeling choked, hence the need for me to rush upstairs to take fresh

JUNEI know Edith was wishing well for me. Her advice was just simple. She wants me to leave the country, and stay away for like three years or more before I return. This way, the gossip would have dwindled. I might even change my looks and all that.But that isn't what I'm after. After all I did to get together with him, leaving unannounced won't help him at all, it will break his heart. He might not even forgive me when I return years later.Worse, he might have moved on from the heartbreak. What's to say that he will wait for my return? What guarantee is there in that?That was why I decided on what to do. Sacrificing my happiness for him means I've got to let go of one thing I love to do, well, that's when you exclude my uncle.Edith spoke of how difficult it was for him to pay my tuition, and I'm going to do something to help him out. I won't be a liability to him, not now. And freaking not ever. I won't let him regret taking this step with me. Having made the decision, I calle

JUNEKristen never agreed to my plans, but it had already been decided. I'm not leaving the country. I'm staying here with him, fighting with him, fighting for him.He was so angry that he didn't speak to me last night. Even when he left this morning, he didn't even give me a peck on the cheek. But he made breakfast for me.A smile tugged at the side of my lips. Kristen might be angry with my decision, but he loves me so much to let me go hungry.I hurried had my bathe, and got dressed in a simple blue gown. I didn't bother with make-up and accessories. You can say I was just too tired to wear earrings.After I had my breakfast, I called Mark, who gave me the address of the first place he found for me. It's a Library not too far from Lakeridge Park. It was difficult for him to get a job for me at Rainier Beach Branch, but he did so with the help of his father.The pay isn't much, but it's something. At least I can start from there before I find another one, which Mark promised won't b