My Little Kitten

My Little Kitten

By:  DeeDee  Ongoing
Language: English
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Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and just barely recognizing yourself in the reflection? Well that is me, I have loved and lost. Survived and thrived, screamed and cried into my pillow tears nobody else got to see. But I never gave up hope, never lied down and never let them see me cry. Until him, he could see past the facade and see the real me. He wanted to love me, concole me and protect me. But I have lost hope in humanity, men, true love because life just arent a fairytale right? Its hard work and nothing comes easy even if you would like to believe it does it just doesnt. He is my mothers new husbands son and 10 years older than me. His blue eyes keep staring at me, it should warm me to the core right. Make me feel something anything. But it doesn't he makes women run after him and beg on their knees. But me, I have been down this road before. The charming smile, arrogant cocky attitude. It always ends the same, me covered in bruises crying on the bathroom floor. Thinking its all my fault, all me. But he just wouldn't let go. He wouldn't give up. And the more I turn him down the more it turns him on. I am only that strong before I give in,and even though I know how this is about to end. If he keeps staring at me with desire in his eyes as if I am the reason he is breathing. I know I am about to take the leap this can go down to damn ways. But the question is do I or dont I. Because fear can be your anchor or it can be your wings

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31 Chapters
New Beginnings
3years ago"You look beautiful sweetheart, this time it will be different I promise". I heard that so many times I have lost count luckily for me, I don't live with my mom anymore. I live on campus second year of college, I graduated highschool 2years earlier. So I don't have to go through all of this all over again. There is so many times I missed my twin sister she would have so much to say right now. So here we go again, I take one last look in the mirror my natural white blond hair frames my face. I left it the way it is, it's long and curly. One of the many features all 8 my girlfriends love to rave about. I have to admit I adore my hair, it's long and goes down just underneath my waist. I never wore makeup unless I went out, which is why I could hardly recognize myself. My pink and purple colored eyes were framed with my extra long eyelashes. I were the only person in the world with pink and purple colored eyes and to mom it made me special and unique. In the eyes of the world i
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Start of something new
Present"Look whose here" Alexandria calls over my shoulder. The music is extremely loud, and with the bright lights I can barely hear or see anything. But I turned around and yes there he is. Keegan, it's funny how he just always happen to be around. Its strange really,but then again this is his club so I shouldn't be that suprised. He looked sexy as hell as always, not much have changed in that category. Women just lined up, I mean he is sort of the whole package deal right. Intellegent, attractive, wealthy,bad boy exterior. Two women on either side of him just drinking his usual whiskey. But he is staring right at me, eyes dark and as he tilts up the glass taking a sip without taking his eyes off of me. I sort of wonder what is going through his mind right now. It's always been like this, his eyes follow me everywhere wherever I go. I always feel like the prey, and him the tiger. Why not a lion? well the male lion never do the hunting the female does. And once again the reason I
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Things aren't always as they seem
Deep breath in, deep breath out. I tried like hell to calm myself, I have been shaking non stop since I left the club. I couldn't breathe, just breathe. I cried all the way home. I can't believe what I just did, why do I keep doing this to myself. Why do I keep getting myself in situations like these. I struggled to sleep throughout the night, I suffered from insomnia I barely slept and when I did I had severe night terrors. Waking up screaming, crying. So I would stay up and write some songs, or busy myself with art.I walked around my apartment, I love my place. It might be small, but it's always filled with laughter. I learned quite early in life that it's not the size of the house it's the friends,family, smiles and laughter that makes it a home. And my 2bedroom apartment have a lot of memories branded within these walls. I took a moment to just breathe it all in, all the times we shared and all the trouble me and my friends love to get into. I guess we each have something in commo
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My biggest fear
I barely made it home after dinner that night, when my phone started it's familiar ringtone. " Just checking in" And everybody started calling out their names, one after the other. I love my group of crazy friends they always knew how to make me feel good. Each one would say their names and started talking about their day,it was our thing. Until they all turned their attention to me."So how was your day Cat? Oh, and how was dinner with your fam?" Everbody went silent waiting for my reply, should I tell? " My reply tipped everybody off, it's what happens if you know each other for as long as we did. "It went great, jip my day was great, dinner was great. Everything went just great" Thats the moment they knew something was up. "Was Keegan there?" Of course Alexa would ask that." Jip" My voice started to shake as memories of the night started to flood back. "And? how is he?" And just like that I couldn't keep it to myself any longer and I just started telling them everything. The line we
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Learning your value
A year ago"Come here your whore" Jason yelled at me. He loved to call me that when we went out and some of his friends were looking at me. I got severly punished if another man looked at me, which caused me to completely change my style. I never wore revealing clothing anymore,and never did my makeup. Yet, I always got punished, I was never allowed to talk to another guy. And whenever we were around his friends, I had to look down talking to him. It weren't always like this, in the start of or relationship he was respectful, loving and caring. He always opened up the car door for me, and I fell inlove he always reminded me of how lucky I am to have a guy like him. And at first I believed him, he worked hard and I was so invested in us. I wanted to make him happpy in all the ways he made me happy. I made him my entire life, at first he didn't want me to go out with my girlfriends. Scared I might get hurt, and it made me feel like he truly cared about my well being. So my girlfriends w
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The rules
For the next week me and Keegan texted nonstop, All trying to figure out exactly where we both might be heading to,trying our best to compromise and meet each other half way, he wanted a relationship. An all exclusive relationship, with the extremely big possibility of marriage and a family. I tried to negotiate for something a little more lighthearted. Since I am a poor negotiator trying to negotiate with a business man I decided it just weren't the effort. So instead I came up with the idea of rules, we called it the rules of engagement. And these were my terms and conditions. 1. I struggle with trust, every single man me or my mom dated cheated. So I have to know that, that's off the table. I have full access to you whenever I want or need you. 2. No working late, if you're not at the office where you are suppose to be. 3. Girlsnight is a very big deal for me, you are allowed to tag along. But I do not want to see you or hear you unless, you're there to protect me. It's an exclusiv
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Meeting new friends
For the next couple of weeks things were going great between me and Keegan, we hung out every single weekend and after work he would either come over to my place or I would go over to his. I would cook us dinner and we would ask how each others days went. He gave me a run through about his days in the Navy and how it were some of the best days of his life. I would tell him all about my time in college and how much fun me and the gils had. I told him more about my sister who passed away in the car accident when we were 14years old and just exactly how badly I took it. How depressed I felt most days, and how I am still on PTSD medicine to help carry me through each and everyday. I didn't tell him all of it, I knew he would run as soon as he knew the whole truth about my past.7 years agoPlease stop, please I begged my stepfather for the millionth time,I knew it would all be useledd he never listened anyway. As he had me in a strong grip, he ripped of my shirt and I knew to never scream
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The dinner party
We have been exclusively dating now for about a month, and I wanted to do something special for Keegan. So I laid rose petals all the way from the door to the bedroom, I made small little snacks for dinner and lit candles everywhere. I even dressed up for the occasion, I wore a sexy red number with a garterbelt. I skipped makeup and wore my hair lose. But when he got home, he didn't notice all of this at first. Since Richard came home with him, and I heard their argument. It was about him refusing to date anyone else, how he was inlove and would not be forced into anything he did not want to do. This was about the time I stood there akwardly trying my best to cover up. But even if I tried to sneak out they would see me, it was a useless plan. So where were I suppose to go, they both turned my way and froze in an instant. I could feel my cheeks heat up to a thousand degrees as Keegan smile started to widen. Hell I loved it when he smiled, he had this trimmed beard thing going on that j
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You can never run from your past
As time went on, I could feel myself falling deeper for Keegan, his smile and laughter was the most beautiful music. His touch made me feel save and every time I would get nightmares, he would chase the monsters away. The times we spent together were some of the best times of my life. He loved volunteering with me, and never did he try to change who I was. He just accepted me for who I was no questions asked.“Girls Night”’ all of us called out as we shared our very first drink. It’s Thursday and we all needed this, Keegan flew for a business trip last night . And he made it clear that he didn’t want to go, that much was obvious not that he had much of a choice. So we spend most of the day together trying to pack, but each and every time we would end up making love instead. So, tonight is the first time without him really, and I had to get out of the house. It was suffocating me since Keegan wasn’t there. He wanted me to go with him but I wanted this to be a trust test. A time we coul
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Her tragic past
For a second, I felt relief this was my dad, I haven’t seen him since I was 4years old. I wanted to cry, but then I took in my appearance. I was completely paralyzed and not in fear, but from something else. Why was my legs and arms so heavy? I couldn’t move, “Daddy, I can’t move. Why can’t I move” I called out to him but he just stared at me, this isn’t the man I remembered this isn’t the man that played hide and seek wit me and Mikayla. He turned his back on me and took a seat on the edge of the bed. He stared in front of him as if he was extremely deep in thought. “You never came back” I looked at him, but I could barely see him in the position I was lying in. “I wasn’t allowed to” He turned his head slowly, “She told you didn’t she, and where’s Kayla?” I had no idea what he was talking about, who told me what? But giving him the news about Micky would be insanely difficult “I don’t know who told me what daddy? And Micky passed away in a car crash when we were 14 years old togethe
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