Twenty-twoThe main door flew open and a few minutes passed before a careful image of Sandra trying to wear high heeled shoes came into view. Where was she going. It had stopped raining except for a few drops. I was now shivering like a stray cat with my lips dancing crazily.She walked down the stairs carefully trying not to make noise. The headlights of a car beamed and indicated once before going off. Her face brightened up a little before she hurried off, climbed the front seat, then they drove off.So, she had been sneaking out, it seemed this wasn’t the first time. But that wasn’t my business. Even if the whole family took a vacation to another country, and I had all the freedom laying carelessly in my hands, I wouldn’t have anywhere to go. Nowhere to go for a sleep over or a boyfriend to sneak around and do erotic scenes with.I was a hopeless romantic.I moved to the door and found it unlocked. Was she all over sudden doing me a favor? Or the angels confused and barred her rea

Twenty-fourHell was here on earth and it was standing right next to me. The apocalypse had even begun.I covered my head with the duvet, trying to figure out what the problem was. Trying to find out why I’m always the problem, always in a problem or always causing problems. Whatever was happening today was way out of my league. What audacity did my best enemies possess and have enough to pose as my friends, did they miss me that bad? Wasn’t their any kid that they could bully in school today?Maybe this was all a dream and if I just counted one to ten everything would come back to normal, I would wake up and realize it was some bad dream, smile, go downstairs for breakfast and head to the terrible school.I breathed in and out again with my eyes closed tightly, hoping it was all some magic and fantasies created by my head. After counting, I pulled the duvet down again and looked around. Everything was the same. The same wicked faces that taunted me every day were lined up in my room,

I used to love school, you know, it used to be my sanctuary and safe place.I used to run to the school bus happily with my pigtail’s hair floating freely in the air. It was all pure magic and fun. Not anymore, its different, the air smells different, sometimes it even smells like death, danger always lurking in the air.Sometimes I missed having someone who I could love, someone who could just look at me like I matter. Anything that wanted to grow old with me even if it was just a mere flower.But it was useless missing something that you have never had. Something thatI continued spiting in the skin as I tried to rinse my mouth. The smell of soap kept on lingering even after rinsing it with water more than ten times. I blew some vapor in my hand and tried to smell it, to confirm if I had bad breath like rotten meat.I was standing inside the ladies’ washrooms, in front of the sink, facing the mirror. My eyes were tightly closed as I did everything. I couldn’t stand looking at me at

28I wore my fake smile, the one that I had practiced oner million times in front of bathroom mirrors and at home. It was my armor, my defense to make it through the day.Deep down, I was burning with the desire to be better every day. I tried being someone else too. I just wanted to be a better person, to be a better version of me or someone else.But I guess I had failed miserably. I thought I was flying and soaring up and up, but deep down, I was crashing so hard and fast, pummeling to the ground. I tried not to feel, the pain that was stabbing my chest. It felt like my heart was being sliced by a razor bit by bit.The fact that my own mama had blocked my number. It was the kind of emotional pain that made your stomach ache and wriggle, it made all the sick butterflies fly around in your stomach, to remind you how sick and pathetic you were.God, I still loved my mama despite that. I did, she had always been my hero and superwoman ever since I was born. That would never change desp

My legs felt weak, and my vision was foggy. The next thing I knew I was down on the ground. As I tried to get a hold of reality and everything around me, I realized a heavy object was on top of me. I closed my eyes trying to figure out what was happening this round, what was lying on top of me? Was I in some realm again where the unreal and imagination ruled? The throbbing pain on my head was their reminding me that it needed to be acknowledged, that I should enjoy the pain, Enjoy the pain inflicted to me by the bully, the way I deserve. I tried to get up again and pushed the figure shaking on top of me. After some little struggles, the person finally stood up and I realized it was the teacher who had been laying over me. I was on the floor as Vince was struggling to mask his laughter on the sidelines. The man in overall came towards me and offered a hand clearly amused too. It was clear he had been laughing too. ‘‘Sorry, let me help you get up, sorry, are you okay,’’ the man in ove