AUGUST I stood still at the farthest corner as I carefully observed the trio group of Rock, Mary and Gustav having their lunch at one of the benches. It was hard to think that I might have lost the connection that I’ve built with them during the first week of school and I’m all to blame for that loss. I was having this pinch of hesitation that they might not recognize, acknowledge or even remember me at all. It was such a short dilemma but I had to shake it all off of my shoulder because I don’t want to have my lunch alone when all eyes are on me. They all seemed to be having their lunch with such delight and it made my heart jump in pure joy. I don’t know why they have chosen to have their lunch here outside the school grounds instead of having it inside the cafeteria. Perhaps they have had enough of the business and the noise, or the constant separation of the cool kids and the invisible ones inside the cafeteria. Perha

AUGUST  Coming out to Mary was definitely or more so, undoubtedly the best thing that happened to this miserable day. It was never the kind of coming out that I was expecting, however, I was more than glad and somehow relieved that I managed to let everything out with such ease. I was nervous for the most part; the nerves were tingling my spine but that’s only because I’m having a nostalgic moment. When I first came out back when I was still in Highmont, I was trembling as hell. The nervousness that I felt earlier was just like small ant bites compared to the extremities that I felt the first time. Mary was definitely the right to person for me to come out to and she took it very nicely so much to my expectation. And it’s not because of the fact that she came out to me too, but it was just her good heart. She might be snarky sometimes, a bit sarcastic too but she really has a good heart. I felt

AMBROSE  What do I need to know? That was the question that conquered my head and apparently, it burned like hell throughout the rest of the night. What truth could that be? I don’t even have any clue about what my mom’s talking about and it’s bugging more than I ever thought. I’m so confident about my spot and I thought my mom was in it for the biggest surprise of her entire miserable life and that she’d cry over it like how she always does. However, after what I’ve heard downstairs, there’s an unforeseen plot twist and I think I’m the one who’s up for a big surprise. That was something that I did not see coming. I was just feeling like a powerful person at the dinner table earlier knowing that my dad would finally tell my mom that he’s divorcing her and that I’d be free of her. The joy inside of me was relentless up until the moment that my pare

AMBROSE In my head, I was already trying to picture some things between me and August. I imagine myself still being out of words as always. I imagine him stepping onto his role of the interviewer and just be the one who keeps on making the conversation going. I imagine myself having to keep my cool with all of the kaleidoscope of butterflies fluttering back in forth in the pits of my stomach. I feel like August’s the only person that I have right now and yet I don’t have him by my side. The blame’s all on me being the asshole who doesn’t want to let him clarify and tell his side of the story. I was just thinking what’s going to happen if I actually see him today. What would I tell him? What would he tell me? Am I going to apologize for ignoring him? Or will he apologize for betraying me? The words that I typed seemed convincing. Moreover, I knew that August wants to talk to me so bad.&nb

AMBROSE   I really thought I would feel much lesser pain if I confront my dad about me being adopted. I really thought looking at him straight in the eye would at least lessen the agony and that I would take the truth in utter silence and complete acceptance. I was dead ass wrong in all levels. Eavesdropping and learning about it in secret was already agonizing but I never would’ve thought it would hurt like hell to hear it come out straight from my dad’s mouth. What more if my mom’s there. I’m she would roast me to ashes with her ruthless mouth and that would definitely hurt more than I know. I’m sure my dad tried to beat around the bush and perhaps lie about it but I was quick to shut him down. He doesn’t have much of a choice but to let the cat out of the bag.   My chest and my heart seemed like an idle dart board and once I heard everything come out of my dad’s lips, the words appeared like sharpened darts pins. This was