All Chapters of My Bully's Crush: Chapter 41 - Chapter 50
90 Chapters
Chapter 41: RYDER
How the hell was I going to explain everything to her? Where the hell do I start? I felt gutted and raw. There was so much pain inside that I could hardly breathe. How the hell could I tell her everything that I'd learned in the last couple of months? And how will I bear this pain? The pain of what my words might do to her.Does it really matter? My pain was nothing compared to the hell I just heard in her voice, and though I'm not conceited enough to hold myself responsible for all of her pain, I knew at least ninety-five percent of it was because of me. Now I'm here for the first time in five years to add even more pain to her load.I hated myself more at that moment as I stood there staring at the back of her head because she refused to turn around and face me. I could force her; I know I could. I've done it before, forced her to see things my way or to do any number of things that, when I look back, I feel like the worst kind of human being for doing to her.If I were her, I wouldn
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Chaper 42: ELENA
"Don't panic; I have everything under control. No one is going to hurt you." I couldn't help laughing at the worried look on his face. Then he looked really concerned when that laughter turned into howls of pure cackling. I'm sure he thought I was losing my shit, but nothing could be further from the truth. My mind was as clear as a bell in the Italian countryside."Elena, what…?""Do you know what killing people with kindness does to them, Ryder? It eats them up inside, especially when they've done you wrong. Though they may have no conscience, some part of them, some minuscule thread of humanity, destroys them little by little.""I've always taken the high road. I've always shown kindness. Even when I was being torn apart inside and out, I put a smile on my face, and I never hit back, but this there's no way. I want them to pay. You think I'm afraid of some washed up never has been actor and his crackhead of a daughter?" I laughed even louder.His eyes widened when I cracked my neck
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Chapter 43: ELENA
"You fucked the whole plastic Barbie family?" I couldn't hide the disgust in my voice. Mary had set him up on a threesome with three of her five daughters. "Why did she leave the other two out? Were they out of town?" I jeered at him totally repulsed. He hung his head down in shame and nodded, and I kept reading, doing my best not to start throwing things or outright losing my shit. This was bad, it was even worse than I thought, and I already knew it was a shit show."So, you're saying you started cheating on me even before they started drugging you, right? Because these years don't add up.""Yes, and no. I wasn't sure exactly when the drugs started; I only realized once I got clean that it had been going on for much longer than I even knew. It started about the time they started lying to me. They filled my head with nonsense, tried to turn my mind against you, and I fell for it because I didn't know my mind was being altered.""Drop it, Ryder; you should've known me better than that
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Chapter 44: RYDER
"No one has ever really loved me except for you. I know that now; I think I've always known it, but I wasn't in the right head space back then to understand it fully or to appreciate you and all that you've done. You and I both know that I was a major screwup in more ways than one. I know you tried to help me. I know you did your best, and that's why I know that I need to be here with you because when I looked back on my life once things started to become clear again, whenever I thought of the past, you were all I saw." "You were all I needed, but I wasn't in the right place even then because I still found myself trapped in a marriage that I didn't want and never wanted. I know as long as I live, I will never be able to make it up to you for the pain that I caused, but please give me a chance to at least try. I have to try; I think I'd die if I don't make this right. I can't not have you, Elena, not and stay sane." "Why? Why would I do that? So that you could hurt me again? So that y
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Chaper 45: ELENA
If he's telling the truth about this, does that mean that he's being honest about everything else? I wasn't anywhere close to forgiving him, but I can't deny the fact that I was happy, elated even, that we were in the same room together after so many years apart, even though we were yelling at each other.I hadn't really let it set in entirely that he was really here, and it was now sinking in that we were this close to each other again after thinking for so long that this would never happen in this lifetime. I lost count of how many times in the beginning I imagined just this happening. How many times have I wished to wake up from the nightmare and realize that it was all just a dream until time passed by, and I gave up hope and stopped wishing?I won't deny to myself that I liked having him here, that being this close to him was the most alive I've felt in too long to remember. I won't lie to myself about the way it makes me feel, but no way in hell will I let him see or know it.I'v
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Chapter 46: RYDER
I was as nervous as I was the first time I touched her. Back then, my nervousness stemmed from the newness and, yes, the fact that I was so in awe of her that it was like a fairytale come true just to breathe her in. This time my hands shook with emotion because I never thought I'd be here again.I know I have a long way to go and that there's so much more that needs to be done on my part, but the truth of the matter is I've never been able to keep my hands to myself when it comes to Elena, and it used to be the same for her. This was always the one place we were compatible, and I'd missed this closeness more than my next breath.With each bit of her flesh, I revealed I held my breath, waiting for her to stop me and hoping with everything in me that she didn't. Earlier, she'd said that it was just sex, but for me, it was so much more. I needed desperately to reforge the bond between us, the bond that I'd thought was so irrevocably broken.And when she trembled beneath my hands, I sent
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Chapter 47: ELENA
Shit, shit, shit, what the hell have I done? How could I be so stupid? In all my daydreams, I never imagined things turning out this way. Killing him on sight, yeah, but not once did I ever imagine jumping into bed with him the first chance I got. I wish I was the kind of woman who'd see this as getting some of my own back.I don't know all the particulars of their divorce, but I'm almost certain that something sinister is going on or that nut would've been all over the news having killed someone, either him or me. The fact that she hadn't come knocking on my door tells me that something strange was at play.I don't think Ryder would've lied to me about the divorce, so my guess is those men he told me about had a hand in whatever was going on here. I should've asked more questions, but it's too late for that now, isn't it? As soon as he disappeared into the bathroom, I high-tailed it to the guest bath down the hall.Well, I moved as fast as I could since muscles that had lain dormant f
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Chapter 48: RYDER
She's finally asleep again, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I felt a bit uneasy as I lay there beside her thinking about my next move. When I insisted Zak and Tyler bring me here, they weren't exactly on board, but they understood my need to get to her. Their reason for not wanting me to rush things is that there was no set plan in mind.But I couldn't not come to her once it came to light that Janie and her dad, along with Mary and the others, were planning to not only harm her but take her life. The fear I felt in that moment overshadowed everything else, and all I could think about was getting to her, if only to stand in front of her, protecting her from the danger.They weren't planning to rush right out and harm her, but for me, it made no difference; even a second more away from her after hearing that would've been too much for me to bear. But as usual, I didn't think about what came next; I just couldn't ignore the need in me to be next to her.Tyler and Zak had offered to ha
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Chapter 49: RYDER
"Ryder?" Her voice sounded groggy with sleep."I'm here baby girl.""I thought it was a dream." For a few seconds more, she held on tight until she came fully awake and reality set in. Then she tried easing away from me, but I wasn't yet ready to let go.I knew that once I did, the fear would be back in her eyes, and it was killing me that, once again, I'd handled things so poorly. I should've waited until things were settled, but still, how could I have done that, knowing she was in trouble?There was no threat of immediate physical danger, and I knew I had to take things slow and be extra careful with the way I handled things in the next few days. I came here knowing that I would have to leave her physically for a few days at least, but I couldn't wait to reforge the bond that had been broken. Now I was having second thoughts about my strategy.There was no hope for it, though, no turning back, and all I could do was make sure she knew that I won't ever leave her again, that I was he
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Chapter 50: RYDER
As expected, she wasn't handling the news of Rachel's betrayal very well. I held her through her crying jag, which broke my heart into pieces, and then I had a time of it getting her to calm down and not do anything rash once the tears were over.She wanted to confront the other woman as soon as she returned in a day or two, but I had something better up my sleeve, something I was hoping she'd agree to not only for her sake but for my own peace of mind as well.Since I couldn't stay here with her just yet, there was no way I wanted her here alone, so when she took a trip to the bathroom to wash her face, I made a quick call to the guys with my suggestion, but since we didn't have a lot of time before she got back I didn't exactly get an answer from them, not that I needed one in this situation. As long as it was about her safety, I wasn't about to take any chances, and I was almost certain they'd see things my way. So I waited for her return to put my plan into action and hoped for th
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