Chapter 1

Liana:

“Check the girls and then have them cleaned.” One of the women said, clapping her hands, eyeing us as we were sat in what looked like a big shower room. At least, I think it was.

Cecilia, my best friend, was quiet as she looked down at her feet, submitting to them. The idea of them breaking her so easily was not one that I liked. Not for her.

“Cecilia, fight them, don’t give in,” I said, but she didn’t look at me. It pained me, but she didn’t even spare me a glance.

Each one of them eyed us as if we were monsters on the loose. The disgust in their eyes, the anger in their expressions.

“Don’t look at me like that, I don’t want to be here.” I said, looking at one of the women who wrapped her hand around my arm, pulling me to stand in line. “Let me go!”

They wouldn’t.

No matter how hard I tried, neither one of them would let me go. Instead, it was as if they took pleasure in what they were doing. The pain that they were inflicting on us seemed to be pleasing them more than anything. And that alone was enough to disgust me.  

I watched as four women stood in front of us, forcing us to open our mouths as they checked our teeth like they would check their cattle. They checked our ears, and our bodies they even forced us to open our towels for them to stare at what they deemed as faults in our bodies. Some girls were spreading their legs as they checked for their virginity, and I was no fool, I would be checked too.

“We are not animals.” I said, looking at the woman who stood in front of me wanting to check my mouth.

“Open your damn mouth and let me check your teeth.” She said, watching as I squeezed my mouth shut. I wasn’t going to give in, I refused to give them what they wanted. They were not going to get the freedom to treat me the way that they desired. Not against my will.

The picture of my mother dying right before my eyes played in my head as I fought back my tears, wanting to be anywhere but here. “You cannot treat us the way that you are! We are free souls, you can’t treat us as if we were ornaments for you to use.”

She grabbed me by my chin, forcing me to open my mouth.

Her eyes were as cold as ice, she didn’t even bother flinching, nor did she care about my words. The woman’s face was completely monotonous. “Do not test me,”

The woman pushed me away from her, nodding at the second woman to take me. I wanted to fight her, they wouldn’t allow me to. But I knew one thing, I didn’t want any of them to touch me. I wanted to be anywhere and to do anything else. But I didn’t want to find myself here.

“Please let me go. I don’t want to be here. I didn’t do anything to be here.” I said, begging the woman who guided me toward who looked like one of the nurses within the pack. She was the woman who was checking our hymens. 

“Check her.” The same woman said who was most likely the headmistress, said, looking around us. The other girls seemed to be giving into everything that they did. Most of them didn’t fight, but it was the same way on the bus. Neither one of them fought, and those who did were quickly silenced. “And enough with your yelling. You don’t want me to be more cruel.”

“What more cruelty are you going to be willing to give?” I asked, shaking my head at the woman. “After they killed my family, sold us to your estate, what more cruelty could we see?”

“Do not test me.” She said, glaring daggers at me. I looked down at my feet, avoiding her eyes, knowing no longer to keep testing my luck. I clenched and unclenched my fist, sitting down on the stool. I tried to fight back spreading my legs, but the second they saw that, two girls stood by her side, holding my legs open for her to see.

She nodded, and allowed them to let me go. She didn’t speak, but it was her eyes who told me to leave. I got up from the stool and the next girl sat on my spot. The woman who was checking her washed her hand and repeated the process again.

“When you are done, shower and you will be offered clothes to get dressed before you go to bed. You are going to start your classes tomorrow.” The woman said, looking at us. Her eyes met mine as I stood, and I could tell that she was addressing me with her next sentence. “And I expect you to be more disciplined by then.”

I walked toward the empty spot and bucket to shower, allowing my tears to fall.

“The mattresses would be provided to you by the handmaids. You are going to put them on the floor, each one of you would choose a mattress of her own, and you are going to put your sheets and go to bed. If I find that any of you is causing any trouble over the night, you would be saying goodbye to the warm sheets that you’re sleeping on.” She said, looking at each one of us. “And trust me, you don’t want to find yourselves sleeping with the rats on your very first night within the Estate.”

She walked toward me, and I watched as she handed me a silver bowl beside the bucket of warm water that I was sitting beside. She got down on her knee, not caring that her clothes were getting wet. And when her eyes met mine, I had to fight back a reaction that I knew she would make me regret.

“I will be keeping my eyes on you.” She said, rising to her feet. Her eyes were fixed on me, and the disgust that I saw in them sickened me even more than the whole situation that I was in. “And yes, my words were directed to you when I said I expect you to be more disciplined by then…”