Love in the Time of Quarantine

Restaurants? Closed. Parks? Empty. Streets? Deserted. The world just suddenly stopped. The coronavirus (COVID-19) began in Wuhan, China, showing up in late December 2019. It quickly spread throughout the globe, causing death, financial disaster, job loss, and family upheaval. There isn’t a part of our lives that hasn’t been affected by COVID-19. As of today, February 24, 2022, there have been over 431 million worldwide deaths with new cases occurring every day. For many, we have lost loved ones. Some were stranded in other countries with no way to get home for weeks or months. Most of us were unable to see family or friends who lived out of our immediate bubble for nearly a year. The effect of quarantine on our mental health, learning, work, and relationships cannot be undersold. It brought Tiger King, sourdough bread making, so much Zoom, mass pet adoptions, and TikTok dance challenges. Working from home took on a new meaning while you tried to juggle children loggin

Ash decides that he would rather stay in, so I start working on dinner. I’m making his favorite: my mother’s lasagna. “I’m gonna go shower. Public transport just makes you feel all grimy,” he says after opening a bottle of red wine for us. “Don’t drink that until I get out! It’s gotta breathe.” “Yes, sir!” I snap him a salute before turning back to the meat cooking on the stove. “Mmmmm. I could get used to that kind of obedience from you.” As he walks past, he smacks my ass with the towel that’s in his hand. “Asshole!” I call after his laughing form as he hurries into Kora’s room. Over the next 15 minutes, while I hear the water running in the shower, I cook the meat, make the sauce, and layer the lasagna in the dish. I’m just putting it in the oven when I hear Ashton calling my name. “What?” I call back to him as I set the timer on my phone. I hear a muffled sentence. Somet

Conversation during dinner turns to my year at school and the different advertising companies that Ashton is interviewing with. “So are you planning on staying here in New York?” I ask, taking a drink of wine. “If that’s what the job requires, but most of these places have a short internship period here in New York before it’s possible to transfer to other branches. All of the four companies I’m interviewing at have a branch in Ohio so that I could go back home.” His eyes flick to me. “If New York doesn’t work for me.” Genuinely curious, I ask, “What do you mean?” He looks at me for a beat before vaguely saying, “Oh, you know. If I don’t adjust to city life.” I give a short bark of laughter. “Oh, come on Ashton. What’s there not to love about the city? You can basically walk everywhere. The variety of food, and experiences, and people in one square block is more than our entire home town could even hope for. Concerts, galleries, clubs, fashion, restaurants. New York’s g

I quickly close the door in my room. I lean my head against it, breathing heavily. I feel the tears gather in my eyes and I force myself to steady my breathing to calm down. I will NOT cry. Ashton never promised me anything. In fact, up until tonight, he treated me like the annoying little sister that my brother did. We were comfortable around each other. More family than friends. Shit, what had I thought would happen? Yeah, he had touched me and we maybe would have gone a lot further if my brother hadn’t interrupted, but maybe it was better that he had. If Ashton only saw this as comforting me, if this was only going to be a one time thing, I didn’t want it. Yes, he’s hot. Yes, I’ve fantasized about being with him more times than I could count. Yes, I wanted to feel his skin against mine. But…but that isn’t all that I want. I want Ashton James to be mine. And he had just confirmed that he would never be. A traitorous tear courses down my cheek and I angrily s

Ashton collapses on top of me, gathering me in his arms and kissing me deeply. Our bodies were still connected and our sweat mingled where our skin meets. My mind is whirling. Did he…did he really say that he loves me? Did he mean it? When he draws away, his eyes are so full of happiness. Ashton pecks my lips once more before pulling out of me. He gets off of the bed, disposing of the condom. I head to the bathroom and come back to the room in a daze. Ashton is laying on the bed again. When he sees me, a shy smile crosses his face. He pats the bed beside him. “Come here.” I bite my bottom lip, worrying it in my anxiety. I lay beside him, stiff and caught up in my own head. “What’s wrong?” Ashton asks, his brows furrowing. “You’re not having second thoughts, are you?” I leap up so that I’m facing him, my hands going to his face and chest. “No! No! I’ve wanted this since…fuck, since I was 13. I just…” My eyes lower, unsure how to broach the subject. He takes my chi