I just laid there on the soft material of the playpen. I felt empty. The punishment wasn't bad. Although it did hurt. It was mentally more painful. It was the memories that came with it. The trauma that I felt. It reminded me of one specific memory, the summer when I was ten years old. All summer I was by myself because my parents and sister were busy with who knows what. I think they even went on vacation when they hired a nanny for me. I didn't even know the difference between them being away or staying at home. But all of a sudden my sister wanted to do something with me. I think my parents send her to me. In the hope that I wouldn't lose my social skills and so that my sister and I wouldn't get that estranged from each other. So when needed, my sister and I could get along when there were visitors in the house. I was playing in the backyard at the small lake we had for ourselves. I had seen some fish and they looked fun to play

When I said my apology David smiled like crazy. Like it actually creeped me out. He gave me a kiss on my forehead and after him, Joon followed suit by giving me a kiss on the crown of my head. Right after their kisses, a wave of feelings hit me. One feeling was of fear, the fact that they were happy with me calling them 'dad' was wrong. Next to fear I felt sad for the fact that I just gave in, but also that I like their warmth, their affection. And the last feeling was of content, which was weird. Because laying there with my head on Joon's shoulder should be wrong. I couldn't feel this way but I still did. Another wave of self-hate went through me.I tried to push the self-hate away and closed my eyes to let the feeling of content dominate me. Right now I didn't want to feel sad or angry. I was tired and just wanted to be held. Was that so much to ask? Was that wrong to feel that way? I think so, but I pushed that feeling away, the feeling that I sh

With each piece of clothing they took from my body, it felt like a petal was ripped apart from its stem. Where each petal represented a piece of me, a piece of my soul. I felt vulnerable, I felt broken. Nothing was left in me because there was nothing to hold me together. By violating me like this I felt like there was nothing left to fight for. These men could do whatever they want. No amount of pushing, kicking, or yelling would keep them away from me. A flower without its stem is just a pile of loose petals left to go rotten. And when they took me from the nursery to the bathroom I saw that pile of petals laying down on the changing mat. The exact mat where I had to give up almost all of my dignity with my diaper changes. Almost all was gone but I had still that little bit of hope, which was now crushed, ripped apart. Caused by these evil men, by these devils who are guarding my personal hell. Silent tears streamed down my face. I didn't scream, nor cry,

The sweet moment I had with my daddies ended sooner than later, which I didn't like. Papa needed to work but I wasn't having it. I wanted to stay with both men and not just with Daddy and I was laying very comfortable in my Papa's arms. Papa handed me to Daddy and stood up from the couch. He gave me a last pat on the head while turning his body to leave the room. "Papa no, Papa stay!" I put my arms in the air and made grabby hands to him. He couldn't leave me. He turned around and put me on his hip while bouncing me up and down. "I know my princess but Papa has to work so he can buy you and your Daddy nice food to fill your tummies. I'll be back by lunchtime until then can you be a big girl for your Papa and keep Daddy company, he also doesn't like it when I leave him." He put my hair behind my ear and kissed my head. "Hmmm, can you do that for me?" I looked first at Papa and then at Daddy. I didn't want him to leave me, but I also

As I was laying on Joon's shoulder I started to scream and shout for help but nobody helped me. The few people that were still outside, despite the rain, didn't even look at me and the ones that did look at my hopeless state would just turn away. They were acting like it was normal. How was this possible? "Nobody is going to help you not even your Daddy. I'm furious Fleur. We trusted you and you just used us. You're in for it little girl." Joon said with a dark and threatening voice which caused shivers to run down my spine. I didn't say anything after Joon's threat. I had become my old self where I'd submit at the sound of any lowered and threatening voice. I was paralyzed with fear pumping through my veins. I felt even weaker than before, noticing his big and tensed muscled arms around my frail body. My mind went blank and I didn't know what to do. I just let him take me, after everything I went through, I just let him. I felt like all hope was gone, I wa