"Hey, come here." Her arms were wide open the moment she spotted me in the middle of the busy airport. It was a long hug. I sank into it with a sigh, realizing how much I needed that. "It's going to be okay." She said, patting the back of my head with a tenderness I had not experienced for as long as I could remember. "I hope so." I said, blinking back tears. I fought to not let myself cry, there was no room for tears at this point. She reassured me with a warm smile, "It is. You're so strong, you'll get over this in no time." River was so sure. I didn't believe that for me. "I don't think I'm as strong as you think." I told her honestly. "You've never proven me wrong," "Even with all the stupid decisions I've made?" I asked like a child. Trust me I had made lots of them. "Even with all the naive decisions you've made." She corrected. She led the way to her vehicle, we dropped my stuff in the trunk and soon we were driving into Manhattan, New York city. "Thank you, River,

"Aurora could you..." I trailed off, realizing she wasn't here anymore. It had been a few weeks and I still had not gotten accustomed to the huge change.The house had always been quiet but it was quieter now that she was away. She was not coming back and I had to get used to that realization.My phone rang just as I went downstairs to make my coffee. I had just realized that firing my helps in rage was at my own detriment. I needed to hire new ones. "Hi mom." I said."About time you picked your calls." She was upset."I've been busy." I told."Celebrating I presume?"I scowled, fully aware of what she meant, "There's nothing to celebrate. I just have shit load of work.""Right..." She did not believe me. "Why did you fire your helps?"I could not tell her they reminded me of Aurora so I just said they were being lazy instead. "Hmm, I'll hire for you then.""Thanks.""Have you had dinner?""I'll have something to eat soon.""You're sure?""Absolutely.""Alright. Just call if you ne

"There's something about your cravings that makes me want you to give birth already." She faked an angry glare as she handed the package over to me."I'm sorry." I gave her puppy eyes. I had just pestered her with a milkshake and donut craving until she drove to Starbucks to get it herself."You're lucky I love my godson." She rolled her eyes, showing off her amber contact lenses. I had never tried one on but to be honest with the way it looked good on her, I was tempted to try it soon enough."We don't even know the baby's gender yet." I said with a chuckle."I can bet on my favorite pair of shoes that you're having a boy." She was so sure for some reason. "Just hand those shoes over already." I dared her."Just wait till we go for that scan.""I want it to be a surprise silly." I did not want to find out until the baby came."Ughh you're so dramatic..." "I know." I said just before a dizzy spell hit me. I sat down again, putting down my snacks."You okay?" "Yeah just a bit dizzy.

My first trimester ran smoothly. I had minimal cravings and I did not have to battle with a lot of morning sickness. I was always on the go and I did not feel as much tiredness that was typically associated with the first few months of pregnancy. I did not know what the second phase had for me until I battled with sleeplessness from the fourth month. I was restless and my lack of sleep was a constant source of worry for River who had automatically become my caregiver.It got so bad, I was constantly in and out of the hospital, conditioned to bed rest every now and then so I could not get a lot of work done. My business plans had been put on hold. I was in the hospital one day when a call came in from Leo. My heart lurched in my chest when his display picture popped up on my screen for the first time in forever."Aurora?" He said the moment I picked up like he was not sure I would."Hi," I softly said, not sure if he heard me well enough. He apparently did."How are you?" He asked."

Third trimester struggles were a different ball game altogether. The backaches, heaviness, going to pee every five minutes! I was over this phase already. I just wanted to have my son and catch a break. I knew being a new mom was a lot as well but I just wanted this child to come out of me already. I was getting heavier by the day, I could not make dresses any longer, I felt too lazy to get anything done, I could not even sleep well, let's not forget how difficult it is to even get a good sleeping position. No one told me it was like this. But then when I sat to properly reflect on it, it was a cute struggle all the same. I could not complain because this was what I wanted all those years ago.I let out a shaky breath as a sudden cold ran up my spine at the reminder of those terrible days. How the procedures went, the pain, the hurt and recurring dashes of hope. It was better to avoid the thought of it, it was in the past."No negative thoughts Aurora," I chanted to myself as I went