Appearances can be Deceptive

Life seems to want to show you that you are nothing. And that it has the power to force you to make choices that wouldn't be necessary if some people didn't get in your way, it forces you to change course when we make wrong and right choices. Looking at these tall trees, flowers of various colors, I could realize how small I am. Every detail that appears around us has a minimum of perfection, everything is beautiful, splendidly majestic. Except, my life which is nothing but pure disappointment, sorrows and lies, constant changes, everything is perfect. Maybe today my life will change for the better, maybe I can finally improve everything around me. I looked again at the view outside the bus, feeling calmer. I didn't like my life, but I felt grateful to finally be leaving the place that disappointed me so much. I took a deep breath and looked at the paper in my hand where was written the address of the house where I will live, a small house, but cozy because it's just me. I preferred i

Waking up in a house, where you don't feel oppressed, there are no aggressions and no people who look at you like an unpleasant bug, is the best feeling in the world, and today is that wonderful day. The sun beating down on my face, brought such a nice feeling, as if its warmth was hugging me and inviting me to be by your side, like a warm hug, the only one I could remember was Susan's hugs, her strawberry pie smell and her lavender scented perfume made me feel welcome. I got up feeling totally energized, as I had never felt before, even though I had worked a lot yesterday, and today continuing with my housework, it wasn't even enough to make me sad. I went to the bathroom to take a nice cold shower, just to get my body as lazy as my mind was. As soon as I woke up my body, I went out wearing a baggy outfit, a pair of jeans and a purple and pink floral blouse that was very loose on me, it would be great for another day of organizing and cleaning, already feeling a little warm in the mo

I was buying some things that I needed however the money was not so good and was not enough for almost anything, since in addition to rent came along the bills for water, electricity and gas daily needs not to mention everything was so expensive and as I was a minor the owner of the cafeteria took the opportunity to pay me below minimum wage, Luckily I got another job as a helper in a stationery store, after working two jobs and saving money I was able to pay for my college, I won a scholarship that covered half my expenses with the help of a program for needy young people, the scholarships were only awarded to those who got the highest score among the students and the score that the program required, it was difficult, almost impossible, since they complain a lot that only a few people could get it, I studied hard to win the scholarship, and not only that but in college I had to study twice as hard to get one of the places as an apprentice in the atelier, with two other people, among s

- Yes, you didn't! - I spoke up in shock and turned to look behind me, seeing the man who was busy on the phone talking to me. - Did you like it? - I wasn't sure what his look meant at that moment, or if he was upset that I entered without greeting him, but he still had a slight smile on his face. - I apologize if I startled you. - He looked at me intently and at that moment his gaze became attentive. - No, I apologize. I came in quietly, not wanting to disturb you. - I said embarrassed. - I guess it's hard not to notice you coming into my humble studio. - I hoped that my blush hadn't become apparent at that moment, because I felt my face heating up, I looked at the paintings in front of me trying to disguise my embarrassment. - Yes, I loved it, the paintings are beautiful and show a lot of feeling. - I tried to cut the mood. - Sorry, I didn't even introduce myself, my name is Ayanne Reese. - I held out my mother, and he held her gently and kissed her, making me very embarrassed.

Loneliness, for many, is synonymous of emptiness, the dark, of a deadly silence, where there is nothing and no one. The loneliness for many is unpleasant, cold, suffocating, but not in my case, the loneliness for me, brought me comfort, peace where for many it would be a storm. But why? Do I think like this? When did this start? I have no answer, but I know something that is related. Should love be a choice? Should a mother's love be a choice? If a mother wanted her child, carried it for nine months and still loves it, why did mine choose not to love me, but to erase me from her life, simply discarding me, like garbage which could be thrown into a shredder and nobody would miss me, maybe I should be angry, but no, these people would not have any kind of feeling from me, I would never give this taste, the marks on my body? I am constantly reminded of this already, every moment reminding me that I am a monster, reminding me that those who should love me, have simply turned me into a frea