What if We Drown

What if We Drown

By:  Amanda Bittencourt   Completed
Language: English
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Ashlyn hasn't spoken a word since the age of eight, and her heart's never felt more protected. But, when the confident and ever so charming Derek stumbles into her quiet little world, her emotions-and forbidden desires-have never been so loud. For twenty years, silence is all Ashlyn Holland has known. Haunted by the memories of her father, and the harrowing song of the ocean that stole him from her, Ashlyn maintains a safe distance from the rest of the world. Treading carefully the sea of fear and anguish that surrounds her, Ashlyn is determined to do all she can to protect her heart from such a tragic loss striking again. In silence, she grieves. In silence, she is safe. In silence, she finds the strength to breathe. But the silence can only last so long... Derek Moreno is charming and devoted, and quick to see through every wall Ashlyn erects. With his arrival in town, defences fold and walls begin to crumble, the songs of her heart reaching new heights. Together, they crest twin tides of fate, the silence she'd once sought engulfed by his gentle touch, and the whispers of a love thought impossible. For the summer, Ashlyn welcomes the noise. The disruption. But, the ghosts of Derek's past will no longer remain silent, and their deafening power has the potential to drag them both into a current strong enough to drown them amidst their heartache.

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109 Chapters
1
"... The storm is gaining strength as it heads towards Maine. Heavy rain, strong winds, and large waves are expected. All residents of the coastal areas are being urged to remain indoors, and where possible, evacuate to higher ground..." The radio crackled in the corner of Val's Diner.Ashlyn watched in shock as the waves crashed furiously over the pier and onto the streets outside. The angry wind growled, plants and rubbish tossed carelessly down the road. The men moved quickly around her, boarding all the windows and doors; the Diner growing darker and darker with each board fitted."Just a precaution." One of the men smiled as they tousled her hair. But the smile never met their eyes. Ashlyn nodded, uncertain of their assurances, and bent to look under another board. A crack of lightning caused her to jump back and squeal in shock."Ashlyn? Ashlyn! Get away from the window," her Mother, Cassia, cried out from across the room as she unsuccessfully tried to soothe the wailing child i
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2
"Abel's asking after you, Ash." Kassandra Sandoval chuckled, pinching Ashlyn in the ribs as she reached around her to grab the milk jug.With a playful smile, Ashlyn bumped her friend back, accidentally knocking the bottle of soy milk from her hand. Kassandra squealed and jumped back, crashing into Ashlyn, laughing at the mess they had made. No one in the café was at all surprised by this behavior as they continued with their conversations. It was one of the many things people loved about Salt on the Dock. While the food and the coffee were of the highest quality, it was the joy and love that the café and staff exuded that made the cafe so vibrant.Before Ashlyn could make a move for the mop, Kassandra was shooing her away.Kass, let me, she signed, collecting the sodden carton from the floor, her canvas shoes leaving dirty footprints where she walked."I've got this, go. Abel's coffee is getting cold." Kassandra winked as she scooped two chocolate Danish's on to a plate and handed it
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3
It was a good day for Salt as waves of people washed up on the threshold, their bodies drifting on the pleasant scents that carried them in, and each one was met with a warm smile courtesy of Ashlyn.A loud and exaggerated groan came from behind Ashlyn as the phone was hung up none too politely."Sometimes Marcus really grinds my gears. Can you believe he wants to start charging double for produce?" Kass grumbled. Ashlyn rolled her eyes at her best friends' attitude as the customer next in line chuckled.The queue quickly progressed as Ashlyn continued to take orders and make the drinks, while Kass worked on preparing their meals. Lunchtime had always been busy for them since Salts opening six years ago. The flavors that Kass captured in all the food she made, and the constant changing menu, were alluring and tasteful. Salt was undoubtedly the guilty pleasure of many."I saw what you did earlier. Giving that money to Abel was nice and all, but what about Venice? And Athens? You've bee
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4
There was a gentle knock at the door. A moment later a second knock followed when Ashlyn did not answer. Brushing any evidence from her cheeks, she opened the door and stepped around Kass to move towards the front of the building."Ashlyn, I'm sorry. I couldn't just let her speak to you like that." Kass followed and caught her arm. "Please, Ash." She was desperate for her to understand, and she did, but that didn't mean that she approved.You didn't have to speak to her like that. Ashlyn's disapproval was apparent in the weighted movements of her hands as she turned to her friend. She had always admired the passion and fire that burned beneath the bronzed glow of Kass' frame, but sometimes she went too far, and Ashlyn worried if she would ever realize that herself."I'm not going to stand by and pretend like her words don't hurt Ash. They do, for me and you." Kass' eyes were pleading. She knew how her best friend felt, and it deeply pained her that she couldn't take all of that away.
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5
IN MEMORY OF JAMES HOLLANDA MAN WHO EMBODIED THE VERY HEART OF GLASSMONT1964 – 1998The ridges formed in the words were smooth to the touch, bronze emblazoned on a plaque for generations to come. Ashlyn's fingers roamed over the ornately carved macrocarpa, her fingers dipping and gliding over a series of rises and falls. A flock of cormorants nested on rocks and grassy outcrops at the base of the pole, a ship sailing on the still sea progressed up the side. Ancient symbols and detailing circled the remaining surface as it twisted towards the top. Each carving told a story of love and companionship, strength and peace, the life of her father depicted in a series of strokes and symbols...Abel had spent the first month after James' passing working on this project, his own contribution to the memoriam of his first faithful friend. Ashlyn could still recall the days spent in his workshop admiring the skill and precision that went into this particular project, and the connection to her f
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6
"Derek, I'd like you to meet my best friend and business partner, Ashlyn." Kass beamed as she approached from behind. "Derek's the new 1B," she added coming up beside Ashlyn.Derek grinned as he waved from where he sat, his navy jacket popping against the grey armchair. "Nice to meet you again, Ashlyn."Ashlyn withheld a laugh upon noticing her name still inscribed on his palm. She waved in response, her smile friendly."I don't understand. You guys know each other?" Kass enquired as she glanced between the two of them with confusion, her gaze missing the cursive ink that decorated his palm."Ashlyn was kind enough to help me with some, uh, map difficulties." He chuckled, his palms flexing against his jean legs. Kass' gaze focused on Ashlyn as her cheeks warmed, a light flush making itself known.It was nothing, really, she signed before scratching her forearm and looking away, a nervous habit she'd developed through her periods at the hospital. Kass' hand was firm, but comfort
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7
"Uh-uh, tonight's all about you bud," Kass chastised, wagging her finger as though he were a misbehaving child. "I have a question for you, and I expect you to give me a serious answer." Ashlyn could hear Derek's gulp from where she sat. She released the breath she had been holding, thankful for Kass' quick thinking."What is your spirit animal, and why?" She rested her chin on her fists, expectant.Ashlyn rolled her eyes and smiled apologetically. She should have known this would come. Kass asked everyone she met this question, for she believed a person's answer told her all she needed to know about a person. A moment passed as Derek thought about his answer."A Deer? I'd like to believe that I am a gentle, loving, and compassionate person, but still strong when the need arises."Ashlyn nodded. From the little she'd already heard in the way he spoke about his family, she believed it. He had a gentle heart for his sister and his nieces, and no doubt towards many others.Kass nodd
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8
The morning was wet and cold as it kissed her cheeks and nuzzled her nose. With a sleepy smile, Ashlyn opened her eyes to greet Coley who had successfully coaxed her into waking for breakfast.Coley's meow was croaky as Ashlyn scooped her into her arms and kissed the tip of her nose. Coley remained compliant for a moment before she pushed Ashlyn's face away and jumped down, the soft sound of her pitter-pattering towards the kitchen. Ashlyn grinned as she climbed out of bed and followed, the cats hinting not lost on her.The early morning sun was warm against the terracotta paint she'd begun applying to the feature wall of the open plan living area. While the renovations were not progressing as quickly as she would have liked, Ashlyn was enjoying how relaxed, and in control, the ordeal made her feel. With each stroke of the brush and each new piece of furniture, she could see her fathers plans for the house coming to life.Coley's impatience pulled her from her thoughts as she weave
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9
By the time five thirty rolled around the café was empty, the last patron had left ten minutes ago. Ashlyn stood balancing the till for the fourth time that hour when Kass closed the drawer."You need to sit down," Kass commanded, steering Ashlyn by her shoulders over to one of the tables in the front window. Sitting opposite her, Kass sighed. Ashlyn watched her hands on the table before her, her fingers knotted together."I know somethings bothering you Ash. You've been distracted all day, and I haven't seen you smile once—"I've smiled plenty, Ashlyn interrupted, her movements half-hearted."—and mean it," Kass finished, her tone gentle. "I'm worried about you."Ashlyn bit her lip, glancing away before Kass could notice the tear that caressed her cheek. It was true. Her mind had been elsewhere today, somewhere dark and lonely. But still, she'd thought she maintained a composed front. Guilt at that moment sat not on her chest, but inside her mind, and its power grew stronger w
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10
The cerulean blue Ashlyn had been cautiously applying to the walls of the guest room appeared darker than she'd thought. While it had initially seemed to boast a more turquoise hint in the paint store, now that she had applied it to the wall it appeared bolder. Stepping back to admire the newly completed wall, she took a bite of her peanut butter and jelly sandwich and smiled. As bold as it may be, she could already feel the calmness flow gently through her. The floorers were scheduled to come the following weekend to lay the new laminate flooring throughout the house. That didn't give her nearly enough time to get all the painting completed, but she'd at least made a dent in it over the past two days. She couldn't wait for Zion to visit again and see everything she'd already accomplished. Her dreams for this house were slowly coming to life. Coley lay curled up on the top rung of the ladder, soundlessly sleeping as Ashlyn moved about the room cleaning up the paint brushes and roll
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