I don’t even know where to begin with processing all of this. I knew there would be a lot about Dane I didn’t know. I didn’t know he was a werewolf when we dated, so I’m sure there was a lot related to that he kept from me. I just wasn’t fully prepared to hear all this. I knew Dane was different, more aggressive, and unstable than the man I knew. Now that I know he’s that way because he lost his mate, I’m unsure how to feel about it. Do I feel bad for him? I mean, in a way, I do. His soulmate died. The thing is, Hale lost his soulmate too and isn’t deranged and aggressive. He lost his wolf, staying alive for his son’s sake. Dane isn’t clinging to life for River and Sage. He’s clinging to life rather than following his soulmate because he got a taste of power and wants to keep it. He didn’t even know about them without looking for me. And when I think that he’s here because he wants to use my kids, it pisses me off. All the sympathy I had for his loss goes out the window. I don’t car

Okay, I’m going to wake up any minute now. There is no way any of this is real. Men like Hale are not real. They are more fairy tales than werewolves. He’s kind and patient with my kids and treats them like anyone else. He doesn’t talk down to them and has never once misgendered them. I don’t think anyone outside of me has ever treated them that way, and even I might baby them a little because they are my babies. And if his way with my kids isn’t enough to make me believe I’m in a dream, he finds me attractive. I saw how he looked at me when he entered my room. I also saw the subtle movement in his pants. Have I mentioned I like Hale in those sweatpants? This is another reason this has to be a dream. I’m having some weird fantasy dream about my boss; he’s too hot to be into me. That’s the only explanation. For him being into me, kissing me, and saying he wants to date me. But also for this whole craziness about werewolves. Only my imagination would put me in a fantasy world where wer

When I moved to Portland, I thought it couldn’t be worse than home. We’ve been here around a month, and my neighbors are all nice. None of them have misgendered my kids. None of them have gone off the deep end and tried to attack my kids. Everything has been chill. I was so happy living in a chill neighborhood with no drama. Little did I know I would be the one that brought drama to the neighborhood. Honestly, I may be more shocked that none of my neighbors, especially the one living in the other half of my duplex, have rushed outside. I know I’d want to investigate the sounds of snarls, growls, yelling, and the EARTH shaking. Yet not a peep. Not even a light flicked on for someone to peer through their blinds. Does Portland not have nosey people? That seems impossible. It is statistically impossible that I moved to the one place in the world where people don’t give into natural curiosity. Why am I thinking about all this when I have multiple naked people in my yard? Including the C

I know earlier, when we were going to bed, I said I’d be okay with just cuddling and that I could accept just being in Hale’s arms. I would never push Hale into doing something he’s not comfortable with. And him getting his wolf back shouldn’t change that, but I don’t know if I can do that. I mean, I will. I will if he’s not ready. Something has changed, not just about him but me, since I touched him after he got Jason back. That spark triggered something in me, like a release of hormones that had me feeling like some horny teenager. But this is better than when I was just a horny teenager. For once, I know what I’m doing and like. For another, Hale is more mature and better looking than those boys from my youth. I was feeling bold. It’s the only excuse I have for what I said. I should be blushing that I just suggested Hale undress me. I worried I might have gone too far but saw the silver ring on his iris and how his eyes darkened. There was little question about what Jason wanted.

The drive and hike to the campsite were uneventful, thankfully. I’d linked Austin to be careful about his grandfather. Not that I think he’d come back to the house, but I want to be sure. I don’t need him starting shit with the kids. He thinks Austin is a failure for losing his legs and mating with Suzie. And let’s not start on his opinions of River and Sage. It will just anger me to linger even a moment on it. “Is it weird I’m more nervous about tonight than I was our first time together?” Erin broke the silence as we set up camp. “Not at all. I’m nervous too. And before you say I’ve done this before, this is different. There wasn’t any risk when I marked Jen. I spoke with Beta John about his marking experience. He was terrified she died because she was unresponsive after the marking. Only later did he realize it was because she was receiving her wolf. But it still scares me. I don’t want to risk losing you.” I frowned. “That’s why we are doing this on the new moon. There isn’t a r